Ignorant Mother,and track?

Question

i am 15 years old. my mother is one of the most ignorant influences in my life, and she will never change.She never has anything positive to say about me and she is ignorant to many things in my life. There is a very high chance that i can make it very far in track and field, i have been selected to go to europe for a championship, and flat out she tells i cannot go. She has no knowledge of the event, and she doesnt want to know. So i called her ignorant. Ignorant does not mean stupid, it means not knowing about something, and in my mom's case she has no intent of knowing. It is the same thing for any problem, my mom knows nothing about a subject, but she thinks she can make an insightful decision about everything. How can you make a decision or form an opinion on something you have no idea about? i tell her she's not very supportive of me, and she is never happy with my accomplishments. this applies to school too its always why couldnt you do better? looking out for my best interests?

and my grades arent exactly top-notch, but i still have an 89 average, and i maintain it even with the grueling practices and trying to have time for myself, she still criticizes me about not spending enough time with the family, even though i cant be happy around her because all she can do is criticize me, and it is in no positive way at all. she complains that i do not listen to her, but shes not exactly the listening person either, and she tries to blame so many faults on me, and she believes none of it is her fault.

Answer 1

Sounds like you certainly have a mind of your own. It's very good that you are not letting her critisisms affect how far you want to go with your life. You are 15, though, so your mother is still responsible for alot of what you do, even if it is very unfair. I would talk to your coach, and explain your situation. If your coach is agreeing that you have a very good chance of making it far in track, maybe they can set up some kind of meeting with your mother, and explain things a little better to her. Maybe if she hears it from an adult, she is more likely to trust what they are saying- some people are just like that. I'm sorry that she cannot see the good in you. Don't ever let that change your views of yourself or what you want to do. You seem to know what you want, and are dedicated enough to get it. Even if she flat out still will not let you attend this trip, there is honestly nothing you can do about it at this moment. But tough it out, a few more years and she has no authority over what you can and can't do anymore. To begin to be rebellious against her now, would cause major problems in the future. Even if you don't agree with her(and I don't blame you), accept that she is your mother, and you don't have the authority to make your own decisions regarding some things yet. It sucks to have unfair parents like this, especially when they are just treating you this way as a way to deal with their own insecurities(and this is what it sounds like), but hang in there. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Keep being the way you are, and find somewhere in you to respect your mothers wishes, even if you do not agree with them. Lets face it, if you do your own thing anyway, it won't change her mind a bit, and it will just cause the relationship you have with her to become even worse, and harder to deal with. You know who you are, and what you want, and don't ever forget that. Hold your head high, and tough it out, and it will all be over soon. You are approaching adulthood, and you'll be able to break free from this. Good luck!

Answer 2

My mom is somewhat like that. At least she is like that toward me. I am the black sheep inmy ffamily so I never do anything right. So I know how you feel. I am living on my own and have a husband and 3 kids but I am still the talk of her house that I have not lived in in over 8 years. If I really wanted to do something when I was living with her I would just do it and deal with her later, cause I was always on punishment anyway. But if it was something that I need permission todo like in your case, I would go over her head and talk to someone else in my family that I know would have my back and I would end up doing it. You just learn how to work what you have to get what you want. I know that is not the best thing to be telling you but I have been ther and I really just did it. Hope that helps you a little.

Answer 3

Your mother is concerned about you making a successful pass through life.

She is not concerned with a track meet. She is more worried about you getting an education and acquiring knowledge and wisdom about life in general.

Less than one percent of athletes go on to make any money at a professional sport.

That percentage is too low for your mother.

Answer 4

Did you see Akale the spelling bee.
Sounds like the same kind of mother that she had.
The girl was able to succed because she had other adults who came in and spoke up for her.
You need another adult on your side,pulling for you.
Maybe this person could help convince your mother.
Hope that this helps.

Answer 5

It would be great if you could pursue your track and field accomplishments. Maybe you could have your coach or advisor from school to talk to her and explain the advantage you have been chosen for. what about even a close relative who admires you to talk to her? im sorry - wish i could help you. good luck. ill pray you are able to go. bettyk