We have been going out for 6 months but her ex-husband (who she caught cheating on her) is moving to a distant city and has asked if she and their children will go with him. She has said yes. She loves me and I love her. She acknowledges that she will be unhappy with him - but she is going for the sake of the kids - worried they'll hardly ever see their father again. She says she can put a brave face on it so that the children won't see her unhappiness. What can I say to make her see sense that she should not throw away her life.
2007-03-03 05:00:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To clarify - she has the kids. It's her ex who's moving. I want her to stay with me with her kids
2007-03-03 05:09:13 · update #1
To further clarify - If I had wanted to know "should I bother?" I would have asked that. I want to know "what can I say to make her stay"?
2007-03-03 05:23:36 · update #2
how old are the kids... tell her u'll be the father figure for her kids.... u wanna see her happy and you want the kids to be happy.... tell her if shes not happy, how will that affect her kids... they wont be happy too.... tell her you want her hand to be the only hand you ever need to hold.........
2007-03-03 05:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/bKEMp
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-19 17:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my take on the deal....Well her moving out of the area with her ex (that cheated on her), he has PROMISED her that moving away from the area will be a fresh start for him and her. The one he cheated with will be left behind...and he has convinced her that he made a mistake that he won't repeat and that he is doing this for them and the sake of the kids as well. He is sacrificing to get her back in his life. I believe your girl does still love this ex (and she too is looking at this as HE is doing this for the sake of all, her/family), if she did not love him, if she truly believes she will be unhappy with him she would not give you up. You were willing to take the whole package deal, your girl and her kids...not many guys out there willing to take that all on. You are a gem and you found a diamond in the rough. Keep on looking, there is someone out there with all the 4 c's for you and you will be grateful that she didn't stay.
Good luck to you, you seem very genuine and I'd take you in a heart beat.......
2007-03-03 05:32:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont bother trying she's lying, if she was so much in love with you and he'd cheated on her then she wouldn't give him the time of day.
She's just using the kids as an excuse.
EDIT: To 'further clarify' as you like to say whether you acknowledge it or not your not facing up to reality, the kids are merely her excuse for getting away from you, if she cared about you she'd have her kids living with you - she doesn't. She might well be going to a distant city but its not to live with her ex - its to not live with you.
2007-03-03 05:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by thecoldvoiceofreason 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her tell her how you feel. I feel she is making a very big mistake as my parents only married for the sake of there baby boy then had 2 other children after but not long after th third kid they seperated due to the fact that they really didnt love each other and they were just together for the kids. And in the end both of them ended up hurt and it hurt the kids badly as they were brought up in a home with 2 parents that didnt love each other.
So please tell heer she is making a mistake as she wont be the only one getting hurt it will be the kids to.
Good luck........
2007-03-03 22:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you can MAKE her stay, maybe you could all move nearer to the place the Ex is going so you could all still live together and the kids can see their father. Have you tried talking with the ex about contact? I don't know where you live but is there a social service based on family mediation. Isn't it the ex partners responsibility to ensure that he remains in contact and not the mother's, is there some issue with her and her contact with her father that is driving the desire for her kids to have contact with him that you could explore with her?
2007-03-03 05:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Daisy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WNph1
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-28 22:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by alanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only tell her you love her and let her make the decision. You would have to be willing to take on responsibilty of raising her kids and always having the ex in her life. Think long and hard
2007-03-03 05:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by terri d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That situation sounds oddly familiar except it was him going back to his ex. Nothing I said helped. He said he was miserable with her and will continue to be I'm sure. Since he was with me she's realized that she misses him and wants him back.....They share custody, he actually has them more but he says kids' parents should be together so thats his final choice not matter what. He said I wouldn't understand because I'm not married but I was engaged to my ex and I was miserable with him and I have children with him, but I left. Being miserable and fighting all the time IS NOT better for the children.....
2007-03-03 05:27:59 · answer #9 · answered by sw33tbabi3_05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you realy love her prove it by letting her go. she may well just be stringing you along but she may feel guilty for the sake of her children. in anycase if you set her free and give her the space to do what she has to do if it is true love between you then when she has shown her children that she has tried for their sake and it didnt work she will be without guilt to return to you.
2007-03-04 11:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋