what can i do???

Question

my baby is 7 months old, and she wont let anybody hold her.shes been like this since she was 3 or 4 months old...i cant get a job , because then i will have to get a babysitter, and she wont let anybody hold her.and i dont exactly trust anyone else, so that makes it a lil harder..cuz maybe if my baby is crying too much, the babysitter will hurt her, i dont want that..sometimes when we just go somewhere, and she looks at someone and starts crying...its actually funny in a way..but its really getting on my nerves!!!
shes a good baby, but i would love it if she would let someone else hold her or watch her...its like she cant even be away from me and her daddy...she wont even let my mom hold her...
please , someone tell me what can i dooooo!!!!!

Answer 1

Try taking her out more often. If she has a chance to socialize and observe others then she will be curious to explore them with time. My daughter also has separation issues because I have stayed home with her since birth and will continue to because it is really best for her. It's good to be with her and she needs you very much! She doesn't understand that she is separate from you yet and that will take time for her to grasp as she develops more. My daughter is almost one year old now and she is starting to overcome her separation issues more as she realizes that she has feelings that are separate from mommy. I disagree with others that you should make her more independent and I think she will be better off emotionally if you give her what she needs NOW rather than forcing her if she isn't ready and make her a hyper-active ignored child. Spare the rod and spoil the child and with time she will come out of her shell. Also remember that she picks up on your emotions and can also sense things, so try to take her places more and be casual if she starts to fuss a little. Letting her cry a bit won't hurt her if she knows that you are right there. If she comes unglued take her back and calm her in some way. I would suggest doing things like going to church where there are a lot of people, baby story time at the local library, or even shopping at the grocery store. Listen to your baby.

Answer 2

Time to put a little distance between mom, dad and baby. Most little ones cry when mom and dad leave them, but it's only for a few moments then they are fine. I would make it a point to leave her with your mom for say a couple hours once a week. Or find a friend you trust to watch her a couple times a week for an hour or so. The baby will get use to it and you'll get a little me time which is very important to parents. I'm mom to 3 and aunt to 12. Have seen it all when it comes to little ones.

Answer 3

All children are fearful of change in their lives. Babies are expecially prone to this, as they are the most insecure due to their complete dependence in their parents.

You really are going to have to bite the bullet on this one, and find a trusted friend or family member to babysit for you. Your baby is learning to play you like a violin and unless you want her to grow up to rule your entire world for the rest of your life, you have to break this cycle.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but children need more people in their lives than just their parents. You need to spend some time leaving her in her crib and walking out of the room, just tell her Mommy or Daddy will be back, leave for 5 minutes and go back.

She will scream and cry, but she will learn. When the 5 minutes are up, go back in say Mommy or Daddy are here, play with her a few minutes, do not pick her up and repeat...Mommy and/or Daddy will be right back....leave the room for 10 minutes.

Repeat over and over, within a day or so she will begin to realize that she is not going to be deserted, and you will come back. She will start to "self comfort" by crying softly or sucking her thumb, or hugging a favorite toy....You can then start leaving the room for half an hour incriments, and then an hour and so on.

Bring the person you want to babysit in on this, have them visit and spend time with your daughter....play with some toys with her, talk gently....let her get used to the person for several visits, and then you or her Daddy or both of you can begin the process of leaving the room all over again, leaving her with Grandma....

You have to break this cycle, children will scream and cry and want to be the center of your world constantly, but you cannot be carrying her around on your hip forever. She will outweigh you before you know it.

This must be your first child, it will wrench at your heart, but you and your husband need to reclaim some of your privacy and coupleness, or you will be headed for divorce. I have seen this happen time and time again.

I have adult children of my own, and I know how difficult it is to let go, but when we have children we become their caretakers in order for them to grow up and become independent, and you have to start now or you will end up with an adult sized baby on your hands, and no mother or father wants this.

You have to get over your trust (mistrust) issues. The baby can emotionally feel that from you, and it is making her more insecure. Your Mom would be absolutely fine with her, I am sure of this since you made it to adulthood and marriage and motherhood, didn't you??

I am not telling you to throw all caution to the wind, but your baby cannot rule your life, or you will not have one.

You can go into any bookstore or library and look for some books from SuperNanny, she has some wonderful suggestions for these types of difficulties.

Give the baby and each other a big hug, and get moving, Mom and Dad; this can be solved.

Answer 4

KRISTINA THE BABY CAN NOT BE HOLD LIKE THAT 12 HOURS.SHE WILL BECAME A PROBLEM.TRY THIS --WHEN YOU ARE CLEANING THE HOUSE TRY AND LET HER DOWN ON THE CARPET.LET HER SAFE BUT ALONE FIRST TIME 1 5 7 10 MINUTES .AND WHEN SHE WILL START CRYING LET THE PERSON YOU WANT TO STAY WITH THE BABY GO TO HER AND CUDLE HER.DO NOT GO THERE .LET THEM MANAGE THIS.YOU WILL HAVE TO BE PATION