I have a very close friend who is straight and is aware of my orientation. (no secrets) Anyway we arranged to meet out for dinner on Thursday over the phone at which point he said he was looking forward to it. When he arrived, he totally ignored me and would barely speak to me. he eventually left early and now will not even take my calls. I am at a total loss as to what happened. Somewhere between our initial phonecall and actual meeting he completely turned on me and will not have anything to do w/ me !!
Our friendship has always been one of mutual respect and enjoyment, and out of the blue for no reason given I am being shunned. I am very hurt by his behavior towards me and the worst part is that I don't know why I am being treated this way. Is it possible that his girlfriend or someone else said something nasty to him ? Please help !! I am trying to understand !!!
2007-03-03 03:33:31 · 8 answers · asked by johnnyman 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Something happened!
My guess is that it;s not about you. If it were, he wouldn't have shown up. I would drop a note that assumes this "I don't know what your going through, but I am here for you if you need me".
2007-03-03 03:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's known about your orientation for a while and never minded before, I don't think that would all of a sudden be the cause. It is possible that someone said something to him - maybe someone told him you were badmouthing him or something like that?
Have you tried just asking him point-blank what's going on? Tell him you'll leave him alone if he wants, but you at least want to know why. (Of course, this is hard if he won't take your calls - do you know of any place where he'll be at a certain time, and where you could "accidentally
2 run into him?)
You could also try talking to mutual friends, see if they know.
Or you could try a letter or e-mail, saying pretty much what I suggested above.
If none of this works, you might just have to cut your losses. :( I know it hurts, but just hold onto the thought that this is not your fault - any "friend" who'd shun you like this without any explanation doesn't deserve you, anyway.
2007-03-03 11:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buddy, there is no winning of this game. They will always have the upper hand, because there are too many of them.... I hate ******** biggots!!!
Don't worry about this straight guy, even if you liked him just as a friend, he's not a true friend. Somewhere along the lines, you, or somebody else freaked him out, and that's like the end of the road there. If you can't contact him, there's a reason... he's being an a.ss and try and get over it, because there is nothing you can do about it.
I feel for you, and don't let these a.ss holes above me get to you... they just feel sh.itty about themselves... I would too if I were like them.
2007-03-03 11:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by AckDuScheisse!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't understand that homosexuals are people too. Someone probably made him think you were a **** stereotypical gay guy that we always see in a movie or on TV. Maybe when he said he was looking forward to it he might have thought you thought he meant he wanted to be your boyfriend. If he really was your true friend though, he will stop and you will both make up and become friends again.
2007-03-03 11:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by Robert 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last one is possible. Some one coulde have said that he would look gay if he went out to dinner with you or they said that you would try seducing him. Either way, it's really hard to say which one is true because he won't talk to you. Have you tried talking to any mutual friends? They could provide a clue. Of course, he could be becoming detatched to you. I admit that I do it to my friends sometimes, and hardly realize it. I don't really mean to be a b@$t@rd or anything, it just happens.
2007-03-03 13:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry its probably nothing,he was in a bad move,and stop calling him,when you will meet just ask him if you made him feel uncomfortable in any way and that it wasnt youre intention.im straight and i have a close friend who is lesbian,but i guess its litlle situation.anyway keep focus and remember his just a friend.good luck
2007-03-03 11:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by love_fool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him politely. If he was such a good friend of yours, you deserve to know.
He doesnt have to continue being your friend if hes not comfortable- thats his problem/ his viewpoint.
But if he stopped being friendly- so abrubtly , you must ask him.
Dont mind whatever he tells you. It'll be better than not knowing.
2007-03-03 12:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he feels you want him to be your next boyfriend and feel threatened by it.
Homophobes always forget that gay people are human beings first, gay second.
2007-03-03 11:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋