My ex. wife had an affair. Blamed it all on me. Blamed all our marriage problems on me. Of course after I found out I told her it's over. We had two kids and she was screwing a married man who left his wife. They are still unmarried after they confessed their love to each other and she continues to blame me for everything. I have since remarried and am happy with my new wife. I was with my ex. for 15 years but I didn't know what love really was until I met my second wife. Now my ex. does her best to cause us problems with the kids and tries to control everything. Every time I talk to her she bitches and seems miserable. Why is this? she has everything she wants....her wonderful affair guy, freedom away from her horrible ex. yet she still wants to ***** and complain. I don't and I'm the one who got hosed! I don't even want to talk to her yet she still wants to converse in person rather than just email or text if there is something with the kids going on. What's wrong with her?
2007-03-03 03:21:09 · 27 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is jealous of your current relationship and is having regrets because she wants you back. Kids are going to be her excuse to have contact with you but that's fine talk strictly about your children nothing else. As long as she has your attention she'll stoop to anything be very careful around her.
2007-03-03 03:31:56 · answer #1 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she shouldn't have cheated simply put. But then again, you shouldn't have married her if you didn't love her. But the fact is you both have made mistakes, and you shouldn't say she tries to cause you problems with the kids. Kids are not problems and just because you guys had problems you should make it as unknown as possible when talking with your children. For kids, they don't want to know who's right and who's wrong. They just want their mom and dad to both be there. You should not talk that way about the mother of your children. This is what draws the line between child and parent. And you should be the parent. Forget about the wrong doings she has done to you, you've moved on. Eventually she will too....hopefully :)
2007-03-03 11:39:11 · answer #2 · answered by 98nil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your children are old enough, start communicating with them, not her. My husband has an ex that is horriable. Hates me in everyway and punishes my husband by not allowing him to see the kids. However, the children are old enough now for him to ask them if they want to come and visit. But we went through alot of years of her making things hard. You just have to hang in there, make the most of your time when you do have your kids and know that once the children are old enough, you won't have to deal with her at all. My husband never talks to his ex unless there is an emergency. It sounds like she thought that she could go on cheating and keep you around too. She never realized that she was the stupid one and you were the smart one. And she is not happy. Don't let her fool you. If this new guy loved her, they would of married. There is a song that goes, "If she would of been faithful, if she would have been true. Then I never would of cheated, I would of missed out on real love, I would of missed out on you" I know that you didn't cheat, but your ex did and if she would not of done that, you would not have your new wonderful wife. Make beautiful memories with her and don't let ANYONE stop that. Good Luck!
2007-03-03 11:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by oursnowbaby32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems to be the type that can't appreciate the present state of her life...and regardless of who she is with, where she is, and even if it is the most beautiful sunny day. she will find something to complain about.
This can have a lot to do with her past, her childhood, or many different experiences that led her to much disappointment...this most probably created in her, the mind set to not be able to be hopeful, or enjoy the moment at hand.
It is obvious that in your mind, you still care for her, probably not in the same way that you did when the two of you started out together. Since you care enough to be curious...i suggest you just let it be...When she asks to meet, tell her that you wont. Not that you cant, you simply wont. There is no need to be uncivilized in your manner...just honest. Let her know that she needs to stop calling...cut off all relations with her. Regarding the kids, I suggest you tell her to only text, and that you wont be taken for a fool, and that unless its necessary, to not bother you. Limit your contact with her...if your kids are old enough, why not supply them with cell phones of their own?
Remember, her blaming you, if you totally know for sure that you had nothing to do with her actions, is just a way to have a scapegoat for her actions. Her infidelity was totally her responsibility...if it was really that bad at home, then she should have ended the relationship before she was unfaithful. But for your sanity now, and for her to realize that you are not going to entertain her tantrums, just be neutral.
2007-03-03 11:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people (men and women) never accept responsibility for their role in anything.
You can see them here on Answers. They come on here and ask question with few details hoping to justify their irresponsibility and alleged roles as victims.
Daytime TV caters to women like this. I'm not sure where men go for reinforcement (maybe their buddies?) for this skewed, irresponsible Blame Culture of big babbies who never take responsibility for their own actions.
To this end: you married this woman. She didn't magically transform into who she is now unless she had a serious head injury along the way.
I hope you really did learn something. Now stop whining.
2007-03-03 11:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a personality disorder. It's too bad you didn't recognize it before you married her. She will never be satisfied. She may have grown up in a dysfunctional family and thinks that her behavior is normal. Therapy might help her but probably not. Consider yourself fortunate to be out of the marriage. By the way, guys often behave this way, too. It is not just the way a woman behaves.
You will have to try to get along for the sake of the children but have as little to do with her as possible.
2007-03-03 11:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like the grass wasn't as green as she thought. She is miserable and since she can't take any responsibility, she wants to blame you and then make you just as miserable. You and your new wife need to stand together and not let her come between you two. I would set some serious boundaries and quickly. If she can still control portions of your life it is giving her exactly what she wants.
2007-03-03 11:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Heather K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since where does it say you have 2 talk 2 her.Walk away.She blames you because you listen?? If it's not about the children turn her off.Your 2 involved in her life seems you like it that way.Unless you want # 2 saying goodbye close the gap on the mouth. Just my thought.
2007-03-03 11:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care. She is now an advisary. Talk to the courts. She needs a shrink. Get the courts to only allow text communications. Go to her hubbies work, makean appointment, be nice, take the smuck to lunch. Tell him your problems. Get his advice. Record it. Play it for you new wife. Buy her a nice diamond. Have her have lunch with old wife. See if the babes can settle it.I think I might have been married to her too. tough stuff.
2007-03-03 11:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a loon. She's also jealous you've remarried. Just stop seeing her in person. Keep conversation by phone and email. Don't forget, your new wife has to deal with this loon also. Just cut her off and keep it to the papers with the kids. If she screws up, take her back to court, find her unfit, and get your kids.
2007-03-03 11:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋