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My girlfriend/fiancé is currently in the process of severing all ties to an abusive man. He was abusive in many, many different ways and much to her credit she has been able for the most part to take the high road. However there have been times when he has managed to get to her and the result of which is where the topic of this paper comes in. I have personally heard him belittle her to such an extent she has been broken down to tears. I once found fingerprint bruises on her neck and when she reports this to. So to sum it up for the first time since I "grew up” I am strongly considering the use of violence in order to do 2 things 1st Revenge of course for her and me. 2nd considering the fact I am considered quite good at violence I am pretty sure he will leave her be. The biggest problem is I am worried that even though she wants it done as well that she might become scared of what I am capable of. Nuff said

2007-03-03 02:48:24 · 10 answers · asked by John N 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

10 answers

revenge will get u no where, but hurting yourself and others. if u hurt him physically it may backfire on u, and she may than feel sorry for him, and go back to him. plus what if u hurt him and cause more than u wanted to, and end up in jail, what will your life be worth than. personally there are better ways to deal with this, protective orders, change phone number, move, if u go to jail u won't be there to protect her, don't fight with him unless he forces it and your just defending yourself. there are ways she can escape from him, without getting u involved in it. let her only see the sweet good side of u, if she sees the violence she may think u and the abuser are just alike. your role in this is to be there for her, be supportive, and loving, don't stoop down to his level.

2007-03-03 05:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0 0

Well first let's get the "goodie goodie" answer out of the way, violence only begets MORE violence, two wrongs don't make a right, and you don't KNOW that you can MAKE him leave her alone. Blah Blah blah... I know this must be a difficult thing for both you and your girlfriend (fiancee) to go through, BUT to be honest if you are questioning whether you SHOULD do this, you already KNOW you shouldn't, or you would just have done it already. I can understand how his abuse makes you angry. She needs to get a restraining order against this man, so that he will be thrown in jail if he even comes NEAR her (calls her or makes contact with her), that will help her cut these ties to this man. She needs to treat her ties like a bandaid that needs to come off, rip it off fast to get it over with, no playing around! I suggest she seek councelling to help her cope. I thank you for being there for her, I'm sure it makes this easier for her to have someone stable to lean on and get through this with. You are right, IF you commit acts of violence towards this man it will change the way she thinks of you, it might scare her, (maybe it won't she MAY feel safer with you) but you have to be willing to take that risk if you are thinking about taking revenge on this guy, you also have to think of the consequences if HE decided to press charges against you, it would go on your record, you could spend time in jail (away from your girl, unable to help and or protect her from him or be there for her when she emotionally needs you). I think you already know what you are going to do, you're asking this on this yahoo answers because you are looking for people to give you courage, or conviction to do it. There WILL be people who support violence, hell I can't say that put in your situation that I wouldn't want to mutilate and mame this guy. But please just think it through before you do anything, if you go out seeking violence toward this guy your legal punishment would be more severe than if you did something to the guy because you were in the ACT of protecting your girl. Only you can make this sort of decision, no one can tell you yes or no, because like I said you probably already have your mind made up.

2007-03-03 03:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by Kat__hleen 3 · 0 0

Your "fiance" is severing ties with another man?

Ummm, Dear Mr. Rebound (a.k.a. Bridge of Another Relationsip),

Congradulations on your new job as an air-bag in the car wreck of another relationship. You have been voted one of the most valuable safety devices out there.

Sincerely,

G.

PS. I see you are plotting a new role as Mr. Tool too. That will save her from having to hire a hit man. If I don't see you on Nightline, I suppose you changed your mind.

2007-03-03 03:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

And what will your resorting to violence gain? You'll be put into jail for assault...If you're as good as your bragging says you are you could be put in jail for attempted muder. So there YOU will be in jail and HE will be able to get to your girlfriend...Smart...not to mention childish and immature as well. Your girlfriend needs to dump you as badly as she needs to rid herself of this other guy.

2007-03-03 07:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

the last thing you want to do is show her how mean you can get. probally not the right choice but i would confront him with out her around, throw a scare into him. what i learned from my past realtionship, he could beat on me no problem, but he backed away when a man confronted him.

2007-03-03 02:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by thepainter 4 · 0 1

Vengeance is composed of ideas even as there is little assure of justice via the criminal gadget. that is unrealistic to imagine of settling rankings à l. a. Clint Eastwood, admittedly. yet my own journey with the american gadget of juris prudence has made that option look ideal although far-fetched that is. and not in any respect merely antagonistic to my extremely court docket adversaries, as corrupt as their titles were intense -- who I easily have considered intense-5 and strut even as years of work to get to trial led merely to a precis judgment antagonistic to me via a wisecracking and probable lower than the impact of alcohol choose. i detect my desire for revenge, impotent via the indisputable fact that is, has been geared in the route of the officials of the court docket and a gadget of authorities that allowed this style of travesty to ensue. possibly as a lot or better than it exists antagonistic to those who chosen to make me their present day sufferer, and who keep on with recognition and place of work intact. In with reference to the Biblical references on your question, yet another quote is composed of ideas. Marx once suggested, "faith is the opiate of the thousands." i'm afraid that the words and aspirations of justice that the scriptures you cite can't been considered in our society as except that -- the purposes that come even as submerged contained in the impact of a pallative treatment to ruined social sense of accurate and incorrect. or possibly my faith is lacking? nevertheless, i ask your self if the Founding Fathers would ever have guessed that their motto 'In God We believe' would faster or later change right into a very last source of those disadvantaged of any recourse contained in the rustic they depending, quite than the guiding mild of those who were elected to place of work and mandated to serve. We would declare the regulation is there for all. we may be able to observe court docket drama on television or contained in the flicks to our heart's content textile the position attorneys are frequently upstanding and worried particularly with The regulation. yet my journey with the courts (and by the way the medical occupation besides) in my own existence considering being a mushy man or woman accurate via grownup existence has been that those who extremely carry ethics as powerful are the exception that proves the guideline: united statesa. has the most suitable criminal gadget that funds might want to purchase.

2016-11-27 01:55:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Don't do it ! Things could go wrong in a bad way. Never helps and won't solve anything.

2007-03-03 03:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Use a baseball bat if you must. I saw a program on NatGeo, which proved a baseball bat it more effective than a iron crowbar

2007-03-03 02:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Dont use violence!! why is she still around him at all??? you could land in prison. just keep her away from him

2007-03-03 03:14:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

bar of soap in a sock wont leave bruses.

2007-03-03 03:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by needingitnow342000 2 · 0 0

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