Is it true that too much of Internet pornography can result for a man to stop initiating sex with his wife?

Question

Really, if a man has been spending a lot of time "helping himself" - could it be the reason he does not need or looses interest to be intimate with a woman?

Answer 1

It's absolutely true. That's why pornography is destructive. It destroys "human" relationships.

If a man watches too much, he will lose his ability to seduce a woman because he no longer has the need to because he is taking care of his own needs by watching porn.

Answer 2

Anything is "possible," but in an otherwise solid, healthy relationship, where both parties are satisfying one another sexually, it is highly unlikely that viewing erotica will threaten or damage the relationship.

In a healthy sexual relationship, BOTH men AND women "help themselves." Solosex is not an inferior form of pleasure; it is unique and desirable as any other common form.

Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.

Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.

Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."

Of course, anybody can get "too much" of any good thing. With all the obesity in our society, should we refer to doughnuts as a "gateway food?"

Some people have a sense of moderation and self-control, and others have little to none. No rocket science there.

It's all to easy for some to find a scapegoat in "things" and point to them as the source of problems, when the real "source" is just the human condition and lack of moderation.

Erotica - in and of itself - is no more "evil" than a doughnut, a bottle of booze, or a gun.

Answer 3

Absolutely possible. I do think there is a deeper underlying issue though...so you either have the kind of relationship where you can speak safely and openly or you need short term counseling to get through this. Something like this usually requires some sort of term term therapy.

If he doesn't want to seek help...you have little option as to changing his addiction. Because it sounds like that is what is has become.

You must make it safe for him...sit beside...not across...promise yourself no matter what...you will listen, let him finish what he he saying, and you will not get angry...not matter what. He has to feel safe enough to open up in a non confrontational way. You don't have to solve it or fix it right then either!!!!! This is important! Just try to make it safe enough for him to disclose what is really going on.

Share how you feel...how it makes you feel...how you miss his touch..the closeness etc...without anger...just let him know he is the one for you...but you need more and you are very concerned about this series of events.

Difficult to get over this alone...so please don't hesitate to seek help elsewhere.

I wish you much luck!!

Answer 4

I think it is possible, but I think there is probably an underlining issue why the guy does not want to have sex with his wife. There was for me anyway

Answer 5

Too much of anything that takes away from the marriage is bad.

The real question should be why is he doing it in the first place.

Answer 6

Not really.........actually i think the more he sees porno, the more he would wanna have sex with his wife.....and being the wife, please observe his desires and if he's into it so much, do help to initiate....it will actually make sex alot more spicy!

Answer 7

of course. he needs some help--psychiatriac, especially spiritual.
he also needs to know that you love him despite his perversion and that you want him to get better.

Answer 8

I don't know but have heard of that happening.

Answer 9

It's definitely possible.