Made a big mistake, when I left my husband I gave him custody of our kids. I want them back, what do I do?

Question

When I left, I just wanted out....away from him. I was going to live with my parents and I was full time student not working. I decided it would be best for the kids to stay with hime because our son just started school. That was in june of 2005. Since then I have graduated form nursing school and bought my own house. We ahve tried to work togather on a schedule but he is very diffIcult. I have got lawyer and we are going back to court on the 21st of march. I really need some advice....my doesnt seem like she wants to guide me she just doing the paper work. I feel like its to late in the game to switch lawyers... but I need help!!!!

Answer 1

hey if you gave your kids up in the first place just for YOUR sake you dont deserve to get them back

Answer 2

well. you could switch lawyers. Go to court and show the judge where you are in life. In Michigan it seems like most people that want custody of their kids at least get them half the time. In this case I am guessing your ex isn't willing to give up the kids. You should at least them half the time. It really is the only fair way to do this sort of thing.

Good Luck, I know this is hard, but somehow try to make amends with your ex so that you two can raise these kids in this separate way as best as you can. Never fight in front of the kids. It is soooo hard on them.

Answer 3

I would change lawyers, and do whatever it takes to get the kids back. You are now financially able to care for them and it is important to re-establish that in the eyes of the court. Use what you can to make sure those kids know that you love them and want them back. You dont want them growing up feeling rejected by you. That is a deep wound for a child that almost never heals.

Answer 4

HAve split custody with the kids. Let him have children, for let's say a week, then you get them the other week. It is a lot of work to handle kids, especially if you're a single parent. When my parents split custody, my dad had every other weekend and my mom had the rest. That didn't work out too well.
For holidays, alternate them. One Thanksgiving day with dad, the next year with mom.

Answer 5

I'm sorry, but I really have no sympathy for any "Mother" who could so easily just up and leave their children. That's sorry..

I'm a Mother, and no matter what, my child will always come first. I would never ever leave him just so I could get some degree or whatever. Your children should be so much more important than getting some job.

I would normally have some sort of sympathy for people in a situation of wanting to get their children back.. but it was YOUR decision fo leave them in the first place.

If they are happy where they are, and are well taken care of, and loved by their father.. then leave them where they are. Don't disrupt their lives, just because it's now "convienent" for you to be a Mother to them.

You should be ashamed of yourself.. I could never ever do what you did. To me, that says a lot about your character. How could you ever just up and leave your children like that?!

If you want to see them more, and your ex is being difficult (why wouldn't he?? You are the one who up and left your family!) then go to court for visitation..

You really need to get your priorities in order.. I would imagine you have a LOT to prove to them, to make them ever believe that you really want them in your life now.

I know I'm being repetitive.. but people like you make me sick. When you have children, life is not all about you anymore!!

I hope everything works out for the best.. for your children. But personally, just with what little information I know about your situation.. I don't think that any court should grant you custody, after you just up and left your family. That speaks volumes of your character, and where your priorities are.

Answer 6

TELL your lawyer what YOU expect her to do for the money you are paying her, or you will report her to the Bar association. But that doesn't guarantee you will get custody...the court looks at what is best for the CHILD not what either parent wants...

Answer 7

Listen honey...we all make mistakes....everyone of us.

This is what you need to do....do the kids have a case worker...if they do...write her a letter and it would not hurt to write the Judge either....tell them how you were and take full responsibly for your

actions. Be honest...those people are professionals they know lairs.
Don't be one. Don't make excuses. You left your children.
Now...you have changed...has your heart changed....or is their another reason you want them back.

That all will matter. Please work with everyone....for your children's sake. Put you on the back burner.
If you change lawyers it shows you are unstable. Talk to your lawyer heart to heart.....
Good Luck.

Answer 8

You gave your husband full custody, you cant take that away or back from him. I mean you probably could, but thats not right of you.

Have you ever been in your kids life the past couple of years? If not then dont try to now. Kids dont want a dead beat parent, but they want a parent who will stick with them forever.

Answer 9

i just wish you good luck when you go to court if your working as a nurse now that may help since you got a job and your own house i hope you didn't mess up by leaving your kid's i hope your lawyer is good i really don't know what to tell you i kept my kid's when i divorced my 1st husband it was in 1981 when i divorced him and i raised my kid's

Answer 10

Dont fight for full custody. Just go to court and get your visitation rights established more clearly. If he is difficult, the court will order certain visitation rights.

Answer 11

at the beginning you probably did not purchase a house except your mothers and dads helped you. 2d, your criminal expert likely knows of what to do. The choose will do what's great for the toddlers. You gave them up as quickly as. The question is...Will you provide them up returned?