What does it mean when a married man stays on the phone till 4 am with another woman.?

Question

I just checked my husband phone records, and discovered he has been on the phone 4 -10 times a day late at night taliking with this girl. He said they are just friends and all it is, is talk.
He says he enjoys talking with her and wants to have her as a friend.
I posted another question two weeks ago. Beacuse he was asking that we could all sleep together.
I told him Hell NO....
So now he saying I love you and don't want to get a divorce.
But I can't tell him who to have as a friend.
And when he can talk to them.
Guys & Gals tell me what you think...
We have been together for 6 years, married for 1.
This girl he met in our 1st of our realtionship. And he stopped talking to her for 2 years.
He said she's a sweet girl and he has no reason to stop talking to her..

Answer 1

He is cheating on you.
You do not have to have sex to cheat on someone. He is having an intimate relationship outside the marriage that makes you uncomfortable. If he has not reason to hide anything why was he hiding the phone calls? Probably because he knows on some level that what he is doing in wrong. He is choosing this relationship over you marriage. That is completely unacceptable. I really do not believe in divorce so I would suggest that you let him know how you feel and get into counseling immediately. He could be getting something from her that he is not getting from you. Are there any other problems in the marriage? If not then he could just be a dog.

If he can not stop talking to this girl than I do not see much hope of your marriage working. I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. It is rotten that this is happening after only one year of marriage. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

Lets say your husband is telling the truth..... that they are "just friends" HE is your husband, and if he loves you like a man loves a woman, rather they are married or not. He would not be talking to another woman behind your back. And, yes talking to her for 4-10 times a day is behind your back. Rather you know that they are friends or not.

You said 2 weeks ago he wanted to have a threesome with her? Well, that right there tells you that he wants to sleep with her. HE will deny that as well, but why would he ask you to invite her into your bedroom if not?

He married you. He does not respect your nor your marriage. If he did he would stop all contact with the woman as soon as he knows it upsets you. You are his ife and should come first. He is putting her before you. Does he have 4-10 good conversations with you a day?

Perhaps she is a sweet girl. But if this sweet girl was talking to MY HUSBAND.... then I would be calling her myself, and telling her some unsweet things that a woman in her position is. She is not a sweet girl. Obviously she has no morals. IF you were single, would you be talking to a married man 4-10 times a day, even if you were "just friends"?

Being married myself, I would figure that my husband has some kind of unhealthy relationship with her. Rather it be fantasy, lust, companionship, or just plan sex. Your husband has no right to have a relationship with another woman, other than in passing a simple hello.

Please go to marriage consueling. Tell the consueler the whole story and see what he/she has to say. Trust me, you are right on this. Your husband does not deserve you. He needs to grow up. He needs to realize what he has, before it's gone.

Obviously your husband has his cake and eats it too. By this, I mean he is married and still does whatever he wants. I am sorry. I do not think that I could handle this if it happened to me. I believe I would just leave. There is too much to ponder.

I know you will do whatever it is you want. But, I also know that this must hurt you very much. Your husband is betraying you. Rather he is sleeping with her or not, it is still betrayal.

Please go to counsueling, with or without him. You need to know that you are not crazy for what you are thinking. Good luck. And God help you.

Answer 3

The next phone call from your house should be to the most expensive and noted Divorce Attorney in your area. I am a man and would not call anyone, friend, acquaintance, fellow-worker, at that hour of the night/day. That line is exactly that; a line.
Before you confront be prepared. Check the accounts, their access, and closure rules. Have a safe place to go!! Your attorney will advise you as to what to do with any debt/mortgages.
At all times DO NOT CONFRONT UNTIL READY with the info from your attorney.
If it all turns out to be unfounded you can explain your concerns rationally. The money spent now may save you countless dollars and pain in the future.

Answer 4

He should not be investing all this time with this girl. He should of told you he was talking to her in the first place instead it sounds as though he went behind your back and talked to her. I would be furious if my husband had a girl he was talking to on the phone until 4 in the morning. He should be in bed with you sleeping. He is having fantacy thoughts about you and this girl being together. If I were you I would say to him that he either needs to stop talking to this woman or he is going to be kicked to the curb. He is disrespecting the relationship you two are sharing.

Answer 5

OK, he's just friends with her but he's trying to get you all to sleep together? That's a load of crap. Do you have any friends you talk with on the phone that much? I don't. You should suggest couseling or go yourself so you can build up the confidence to leave this cheater. I went though the same exact thing in my first year of marriage and we only lasted a year. I am so happy now without someone lying to me all the time.

Answer 6

Either you should not love one person and marry another or you should not disclose the secret at all if you are not guilty. The entire letter resembles a film story that is sure to be a super hit what is this confusion of job at chennai and sri lanka There is nothing in life between birth and death save to enjoy the interval. So jettison bad things, forget them and proceed with new promising hopes. BUT ONE SHOULD HEAR THE OTHER PERSON ALSO

Answer 7

First of all I feel for you, I have some idea of what's going through your mind and heart. Mine was a bit diff. for straight 2 months, my husband was calling this wh##e, he met her on a christian dating site and she's also married. My husband excuse to me when I caught his affairs before x-mas last year was,they were only friends. For 2 months he called her and she did vice versa,and this happened 24-7 and he only sleep for just 2 hrs. sometimes 3 hours before he goes to work.
At least yours is diff. but asking you to have 3some is not love anymore. It shows that he never had no respect to your feelings, and by asking you this,prove that he wants to be part of her life as well. Now sit with your husband and tell him what you think, if he do loves you,then he will realize that. Men will say they love us when we caught them,dont want a divorce but never really think of the circumstances.
Be strong and don't let him run you down or make you feel guilty, and if he say that you are the one thats he need and want,then he must stop calling her period,no contact at all. You can also get the number from your husband statement and call her,so you can tell her what you think and for her to leave him alone, or you will file a complaint against her. You are a strong person and you must do all you can to stop him, and if this does not work, contact me and I will tell you what to do. My husband is trying to come back to me and my kids,but I dont have the love that I used to have,and trust,after 22 long years of my unconditional love....
Goodluck sweetie,and dont forget I will be here for you....

Answer 8

this dose not mean he is cheating, and everybody who is telling u he is has never had a friend of the other sex before, me being a man i not gonna tell u that i havent thought about one of my friends like that but have never acted on it because they are just what i say they were friends, and i have some female friends that im so close with that i dont care what time it is when they call, or i call i dont care if my wife or they man dont like it because they were my friend long before they were in the pic, now saying that, that dosent mean he is not cheating eather. and stop looking for stuff, u got no right checking his phone just like he got no right to check yours, and when u do stuff like that and find something then all that means is that u found just what u wanted to find and, and if u are wrong then the trust is gone

Answer 9

I'm sorry but I think he's wrong. Having a female friend is one thing.Talking to a woman several times a day or night for hours in another thing altogether. That is time that he should be spending talking to you, his wife. I don't believe in putting yourself in compromising situations when you are married. It may be innocent right now to him, but the woman may just fall in love with him or come to depend on him and that's bad. Tell him that being a friend is one thing, but spending that much time talking to someone else is taking away from your relationship.

Answer 10

Basically he doesnt care about you or the sanctity of your marriage. Leave him, I know it is hard, but in the end you will find that it is worth it, it is obvious that he is cheating, 4am. And he blatently disrespected you by asking you to have a threesome with her and him. If you like that type of thing, and this is how you want to live your life, then by all means stay. But otherwise you are wasting your time posting on here, you need to be getting your affairs in order, it is time for a divorce