Given that Marriage is the #1 Reason for Divorce, why should I bother? When I was too young to understand, my

Question

cousins and I figured something out. Strangely our grandparents had different rooms at the same house. Grand-pa's room became the 'guest room' when one of us stayed the night but otherwise it was his room and Grand-ma had her room. In Grand-ma's room, there was what looked like a queen-size bed, which we thought the Grandparents shared. Grand-pa just liked his own room to watch certain sports' games that G-ma didn't want to see (though there was an available TV in the living room). Anyway, this queen-size appearing bed was actually 2 single beds with a comforter over both of them, making it appear as one. My own parents didn't sleep in the same room or even on the same floor for the last 10 years plus of their marriage. I realize that my parent's problem was just a failure to communicate. But back to the initial issue, we decided that our Grandparents did not really love each other - they must have married and/or stayed together just out of convenience. They're decent to each

Other, but it’s obvious that there is not ‘love’ there. So now that I am older I am treated like an adult, and the other day my Grandmother made the comment that if she had married G-pa in today’s times, she would certainly be divorced by now. She says she never would have married him. She also would not be living where we live now if she were young and free (like I’m supposed to be). It seems that the way society works today it is almost pointless to get married. I would swear that almost everyone cheats (but not me), and people stop loving each other, or caring, or living the way we should or something. So anyway, I just, I guess, I don’t see that it’s worth committing to someone. If you actually live life right, you can live til you’re 80 or 90 - to commit to over 60 years with someone - even if you love them now, well…. Um yeah, -so uh, any suggestions/ideas about marriage or not? =)

Um hello. Uh, if you did not get married, you would not get divorced, therefore, I do not agree with the argument that it is not the # 1 reason for divorce............................

Just to clarify - obviously I've seen more than 2 marriages of VERY SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE crumble. We have 5 sets of good family friends that were all married over 20 years that are now split. I also have relatives that celebrated their 50th anniversary a couple years ago - I love being around them - you can feel their happiness and love for each other. I am just saying, to make a 60 year commitment kind of sounds crazy. I agree that if you work at it, it can work, but sometimes it's not worth it - but if you get married, you can find this out too late.

I had a best friend for 7 years. We shared the same values, lived the same type of life, etc., for the first 4 - then an old friend came back into his life and suddenly he was an immature kid again. Him and his friend went on crime sprees and did all kinds of stupid juvenile things. People do change or their not so great side comes out in time. Just seems like a big risk..........................

Answer 1

Marriage is only a piece of paper, you don't have to marry some-one to know he/she is your sole mate. If you trust in each other and love is strong enough it can withstand anything.

Answer 2

Back in the day people would sometimes marry because the women became pregnant and they thought it was the only thing to do. I know of many elderly that don't share the same room but i never think anything about it. Then there's the elderly that share the same bed until the day they die and still look after one another. My best friends grandparents were the all American dream of a happy marriage!
I know it's scary to love someone one day and they leave you the next but i figure it's just life. People grow apart sometimes, not just couples but everyone, friends too.
Then sometimes you actually find that one person that is perfect for you and will do anything to make you happy. I love my husband and if one day he didn't feel the same way about me anymore than i would have to let him go, not just for him but for myself. I would rather have 6yrs of happiness than none at all.

Answer 3

Marriage should not be entered lightly.
People should marry for love, true love, and for no other Reason.
But it's not the only Factor for a successful marriage...for instance, two people should at least have the same goals in life, share similar attitudes, and they should have compatible personalities.
Most people are not really mature enough to commit to marriage until they are in their late twenties or early thirties, and sometimes even later than that.

Answer 4

K....there is hope honey...My parents are married 65 years{no kids for 10 years} and I am telling you the truth...they are so in love they hold hand and hug and always sleep together..I remember when I was a little

girl they always had their hands on each other and always went to the bedroom....being kids you don't know what the heck....and my Grama and Papa the had different bedrooms all the years up until they died. But...I know they were in love too....it killed my

poor grama when he died she followed him 5 months later.
He snored so loud that was their reason....and I have 2 sisters that have been happily married for over 40 years.

I have not been so lucky...I can't figure it out either. I am good looking and kind and will do anything to keep my man happy...but...one was killed and the other was a complete creep.


I am soooo scared to even date...because of it...he was soooo sweet for several years{We were 20 years} then he turned unto the DEVIL....well that is a whole nother story... But his parents

were married 65 years until she dies recently....he is next because he can't take her loss. They sleep in different room too.


But their is a man out there for you honey....just be careful who you pick. Really there is very good books out there to read....read them.

Answer 5

How in the world did you come up with that statement?< Marriage is a fine institution and I know of no where will a judge grant a divorce on the basis you are married, as if that was the reason. Brother, are you mixed up somewhat.All people are different and compatibility must be in place together with a true sense of compromise for it to work.

Answer 6

My parents and my loves parents are still very happy together and it's unfortunate and sort of disgusting, but I know my parents have a healthy sex life and sleep in the same bed! You saw 2 couples, but that doesn't mean it's you or that's what happens wiht everyone. Same goes for me too eh? Heh, just work for it.

Sleeping in the same bed isn't the definition of love though, my lover snores and sometimes...sometimes I'd rather have another bedroom and we don't even share blankets 'cause apparently I steal them!

Answer 7

First of all, you cant say you wont marry just because your grandmother wasnt in a HAPPY marriage.

You make a marriage the way you want to make it be, and obviously your grandmother and grandfather didnt want to work at it.

I think people who dont want to make a marriage work are LAZY. Plain and simple , they just dont want to make a commitment and that is not a good stable person.

Marriage is great ! Yes, there are rough roads and bumps, and happy times and sorrow times, but really THATS life.
Wheather your married or not, you will have turmoil and happiness in either life.

Marriage is a blessing because you have someone there to help and walk you through this life. But sadly to say, if you dont keep the Lord in the center and base your realationship on the Word of God, most likely it wont work out then.

Dont be afraid of marriage, and dont rush into it if your not willing to make a sacrifice and make a commitment. There is enough divorce in this life.

Answer 8

well Marriage is not always like that.1st of all don;t settle for the 1st guy who comes around.you have to search for that Spacial mate and make sure you have something in common because when it comes down to it when you are older and the sex thing is over you better have something in common to talk about!!! You have a soul mate we all do!! I have been with My husband since we have been 15 yrs old and 3 kids later and I am 36.We Love eachother very much,Even thru all of the rough times there is a rainbow at the End.

Answer 9

All relationships fade away. All of them.

In the course of this same type of argument, I once told a lady friend of mine that there isn't any woman that I ever loved and with whom I had been in a relationship, that I would ever again want to be with in a relationship or that I still had any feelings for what-so-ever. If love is real how is that to be explained?

Answer 10

Sounds like my family. My grandfather slep in a different room and I could never figure out why until years later my sister told me he had an affair and my grandmother kicked him out of her bedroom. My parents just got divorced when my dad had his affair. Marriage is a toss of a coin 50% good 50% bad. Good Luck.

Answer 11

my honest belief is that marriage is the way you want it to be and make it to be but on top of that comes along the way you were raised and the things you witnessed by your own parents> then also i think it is based on the morals and values that a parent gives to their children to go on and live a happily married life> anyhow i am married and have not cheated nor has my husband, we are happy, close to one another and love to be with eachother... marriage is how you make it and percieve it