If all mothers brought up their son's to be respectful of women & do the chores equally around the house .....

Question

can we bring about a minor revolution in the attitude of men toward women?
To what extent are women/mothers to be blamed for the present state of affairs?

Have I opened a Pandora's box or was it always open? All human beings

should be brought up to respect life in any form,color,sex &

creed.The reason why my question (for now atleast)is aimed at

changing men's attitudes ( and not women)is because we are living in

a patriachal society which has brainwashed all of us into thinking of

outdated stereotypical roles for men & women.The media,adverts etc

portray women either as sex objects or as domestic goddesses.In this

scenario the family becomes an important institution to bring about a

change in thinking , a shift in attitude.I specified mom rather than dad as she exerts more influence in moulding children's behavior.

Answer 1

The mothers themselves are subjected to societal influence. They are brought up to think that they are the ones who should take care of the children(that is why they are the ones bringing up their sons, from your question). So it is not their fault that they are misguided as well.

It is the system that forms our mindset that women have a certain role to play, men have a certain role to play.

But times are changing and you see more women having higher posts and earning lots, and more men who are willing to marry up.

Hopefully more women will understand that they do not have to be the homemaker etc. and teach their children that, so future generations will learn.

Answer 2

Interesting question. In some ways women are more equal than men. For instance, a men's college would cause a riot. All have been forced to change to coed. Yet there still are women's colleges. There are other examples but that's beside the point.

When a household has unfair workload divisions it is the fault of both the man and the woman. I admit that many men prefer an obedient wife but not that many women are all that obedient. Also, do you include all jobs within the household when you speak of chores? I'd love to have my wife come out and mow the lawn sometimes, especially on the 100 degree days.

In my own case, I do all the cooking in the house because I am a better cok than my wife. I also help with the laundry and a wide variety of other tasks. But it wasn't my mother who taught me those things, it was my dad. He believed in treating every person with dignity and respect without regard for their gender. He also taught that a household is a shared responsibility but there are some tasks each is more suited too. I cannot suckle a baby but my wife isn't even going to try to put in a sprinkler system or change the oil in her car. He taught me to be a chauvanist too. I open doors for women, lift heavy objects and speak to women with respect, I've even been compelled to offer them a seat on a bus. He'd have been very rough on me had I not behaved that way. The funny thing is that women have sometimes been angered or assumed I had other motives besides good manners for those things, some have even been insulted. Fact is, no matter what, we can't really win in many cases.

What this society needs more of is understanding. I'm in the computer business and know that women are just as good as men in technology. Intelligence, work ethics and skill are what I hire for. It does not matter if a person is male, female, black, white or three legged with pink polka dots. If everybody would stop focusing on the unimportant and focus on the relevent we'd all be better off.

Answer 3

I like Leah's answer the best. What you haven't put together before asking your question, is how many men have been raised by their mother's to begin with. I do believe women/mother's are to be blamed for the present state of affairs, except, it isn't a problem for me, it is a problem for every woman out there. Mother's have raised their boys to respect women a great deal, to even place them above thier own masculine self worth. The reward? You now have a million women wondering where all the real men are at. It isn't a problem for me, because I have realized the state of my own upbringing, and having bucked it in my early 20's, I now lead a life like the sons of Leah. The more weak men that are out there "wooing" women, the more us dominant types get women at our leisure.

Answer 4

I think we're up against some pretty serious odds for raising our kids with values and moralities nowadays. Society is definitely caught up in an immediate-gratification mentality over doing what's best and what's right. My mom taught me from an early age that chores have to be done and that you can either "hate" your way through them or treat then as a game or challenge or maybe just get some pride for the task done or on the fact that your helping contribute to a family common. With the cheap exploitation of sex and the general degradation of values in integrity and character parents really need to put forth extra effort these days just to give our kids a chance.

Answer 5

If all mothers brought up their daughter's to be respectful of men & be forced into the draft to equally defend the country .....
can we bring about a minor revolution in the attitude of women toward men?

Answer 6

O yes mystic.Thanks that you gave words to a very important idea.At the present women are not to be blamed much as it is not them who are in control.Fathers react when mother train their sons to do household chores.I have begun the job with my 12 yrs old and tell him straight away that it's hell to live with a man who never cares to tidy up or help in kitchen.They are hesitant in the start but it works in the end.

Answer 7

Why should all sons be brought up doing chores equally if they aren't going to be doing them when they grow up? If you imply that they are, should women be allowed to stay housewives? If the majority DO remain housewives, would this not be unfair to the male breadwinner? If the male works longer hours, is this not an unfair decision? "Equality" outside of mathematics is rarely equality, unfortunate as it may be. I can't speak of whether or not a "minor revolution" would occur; I can help answer the second.

I don't generally blame mothers for ****. Society once had a high regard for mothers, but it's slipping as a result of many influences. Mothers that raise good children are doing an immense service to society; those that don't, just as fathers that don't, and instead enter parenthood thinking about ME ME ME instead of carefully raising a child I consider trash. My own mother made sacrifices for my brother and I after my father died; she wound up losing some lucrative opportunities, but she also raised us to have respect outside the home and gave us an unusual but effective education. I don't credit her enough for what she's done.

As for the present state of affairs, you would need to be more specific. Do you refer to the "Peak Oil" phenomenon?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil

Do you refer to the overt sexualization of women? Do you refer to the existence of eating disorders motivated by a desire to lose weight as portrayed in the media? Or do you refer to another event? Please elaborate in your question. For now, I'll answer my "questions" separately:

1) Men and women everywhere buying consumer products, using energy, and driving cars that consume oil.
2) Anybody who wants to make a dollar through advertisement. Women are also the ones who choose to dress this way, and are the ones who are editors and creators of fashion magazines and the like.
3) As I noted above, women are usually the editors and creators of women's magazines (obvious enough) and therefore shoulder a heavy degree of blame for the condition of women today.

Post some more questions and I'll be able to post more responses.

EDIT: Bob G, I am stunned. You made your point eloquently and summarized the entire situation from the viewpoint of a decent and hardworking male who obviously does MORE than his fair share. Lots of things are getting screwed up in society today, and it's going to take a lot of rethinking to deal with it.

Answer 8

I think what you mention is the biggest defense against what the boys and girls will be introduced to during their teen years. The media, the PC movement, and being influenced by the wrong person/people are powerful forces.

Answer 9

Mothers AND Fathers. If boys watch their fathers being disrespectful and leaving household chores for mothers and children, the sons will grow up seeing "delegation" as their role in the home.

Answer 10

This is a very touchy situation, you can raise your children to take part in every aspect of household activity but that doesn't mean everything is going to be equal. It would be great if it were true however --- men are men and they have too keep up there macho appearance.