my husband for 12 years is drunking and driving and calling me names is it time to leave?

Question

he is calling me a useless ***** i dont know what to do i love him but i dont want my kids to hear this kind of stuff and i dont want them around it i hate to throw away 12 years its a new car that he is drunking with and i dont want to pay for something that he will smash up

Answer 1

Counseling, AA, etc.

Answer 2

It sounds as though your husband has a drink problem.Has he had any thing happen recently that could lead to any stresses thats causing him to drink. If so this needs talking through.While he as this problem he will not change unless its for the worse.he will most probably grow more abusive and you dont want to let your kids or your self go through it .Trust me i know iv been their.Unless your husband agrees he has a problem and sees someone about it to get help for himself ,then i would leave with the kids.Because at the moment he isnt showing you much love is he.As for the drink driving,he must be mad.I wouldnt let the kids in the car with him.You could sell the car or secretly phone the police to stop him.If i were you i would leave now 12 yrs mean nothing if your not still as happy as you were before.In a few month you could be looking back on this as a lucky escape.And you and the kids could be really happy and settled again.GOOD LUCKand just do what it takes to make you and the kids happy.If your husband gets through this he will understand why you left for the kids, if he doesnt, he may still be drinking so then youv lost nothing have you.

Answer 3

um yes it is time to leave him. What he does to you is called verbal abuse. I would leave because those precious children of yours deserve a posative role model and not a drunk one. No matter if you divorce him hon if he smashes up the car while you are seperated then you may be held liable for half of the cost of repaires because this was property you both purchased during the marriage (if this was not one he had before you 2 got married) that is what the law is where i live it may be totally different where you are though. If you do decide to leave him that would be something (about the car) I would discuss with my lawyer. And I would not just get any lawyer to handle the divorce but I would get one that specializes in family law.

Answer 4

You don't say if this has been going on from the beginning. I must assume not or you wouldn't just now be asking this question...or is it because now he's doing it in a new car? Anyway, no matter. NO of course you shouldn't put up with such behavior...and you already know that. What, do you need permission to leave? Okay, you've got it. Seek professional help for yourself and your children. Who knows, maybe that will nudge him toward the help he so desperately needs. But you can't fix him, you can only enable him. So, take care of your children first, you next.

Answer 5

i know you love him a lot and spent 12 years of your life with him, but perhaps it's time to move on. you need to have respect for yourself, he doesn't respect you anymore.
take your kids with you and go, he's already calling you names, what if he starts hitting you too? it's usually the next step. be careful girl. if anything happens because you moved out, call the police. and if you don't wanna move out of your own house, call the police the next time he goes out drinking and driving and he won't be allowed into the house again.
or, try to talk to him, explain to him how you're feeling, he might understand and if you ask him not to do it because of all your reasons he might actually stop. show him much you love him and cares about him, he might realize what a great woman you are and stopping doing these stupid things he does. you wanna save your marriage and I'm sure so does he, he did spend 12 years with you.

good luck and i wish you all the best :)

Answer 6

What if he takes the children with him sometime when he's drinking and driving? He's become abusive if he's calling you names. You love what you want him to be, not what he is. There's a big difference. Yes, it's time to take the children and go before someone gets killed.

Answer 7

You are allowing him to treat you this way. You are also letting your children be around someone that is abusing you. You need to get help for yourself and see why you are willing to be co-dependant. Your kids will have problems if you continue staying with him. You can get out your kids cant. Think of your kids and your sanity.

Answer 8

Yep it's time for you to leave your in a relationship your shouldn't be babysitting him. He needs help if you get him that help and you know he will make the effort to change and he does change give him a second chance but if he acts like he doesn't care and doesn't want to change get out of there you have warned him too much it time for you to go if he doesn't change. But if you already got him help and he didn't change get out.

Jewel T

Answer 9

He's drinking and driving? Great, maybe he'll kill someone and end up in jail, but yea, you're worried about the car. One word, intervention. Call your local mental health providers and discuss your husbands substance abuse problem with them and arrange an intervention and get him to stop drinking!

Answer 10

There are tons of reasons. If he hurts or kills someone they can sue and take everything from you. Your kids are seeing this and may follow in is footsteps. And the verbal abuse? Your kids are seeing you take all this and will think this is how life is sapposed to be, Get them out of that disfunctional home.

Answer 11

Next time he does that sit with him and talk in a stern voice that you want him to stop doing this. If he calls you that again slap him or say I'M TALKING RIGHT NOW. Treat him like a kid if he will show no respect to you