My ex-partner hasn’t been talking to me for over a month. Our relationship ended badly, first with 3 months of him deciding whether to be with me, then with 2 months of having broken up but still sometimes having sex. The whole time I felt like I didn’t know where I stood. I have anxiety and depression, and don’t deal well with not knowing so it was pretty stressful for me. The last time I saw him we had a huge argument. I just exploded over something stupid because everything was too much for me. The argument escalated. I pushed him around, put myself in the way of the door and tried to hold onto him to stop him leaving. He ended up choking me and stepping on me and throwing me around to try and get me off him. It eventually came to a standstill and he left in the morning. Apart from a couple of very terse replies to my emails he hasn’t talked to me since. I really want to be able to be his friend and heal the hurt I've inflicted. I know it's my fault.
2007-03-03 00:56:26 · 9 answers · asked by SophieJulien 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I’m seeing a psych to deal with the anxiety, depression and aggression, I’m researching as much as I can and I’m on medication. I want to be his friend but I don’t know how to get him to talk to me. I’ve tried leaving him alone, sending emails that tell him what I feel and then just sending brief, light emails about things that still needed to be worked out. I don’t know what I can do.
2007-03-03 00:59:23 · update #1
OK, You freaked him out, so let him be and focus on getting well. Once he sees that you are not "stalking" him , he won't be so standoffish. I call it stalking because after what you did that is how he is seeing it. Relax and don't make it worse by calling and emailing him. When he sees that it won't be a knock-down drag out fight to talk to you then he may.
2007-03-03 01:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon i have been in a very similar situation (about the choking part). While true you should not have gotten in the door way this dude had NO RIGHT to put his hands on you like that. Best thing I can tell you is to continue to be a friend to him. Stand back for a while but be there to pick up the pieces when some girls breaks his heart.
I can understand why you would feel depressed or anxious and that is natural you carry feelings for this guy and to some point those feelings will never change. But as long as you are not married to him you need to think and do what is best for you. So when he really needs someone you will be able to be there in the best form you can be.
About those 2 emails hon if he wants to be a child and act like that let him. Let him prove that he is a donkeys behind to you and the world especially after you have put yourself out on a limb to apologize to him for what happened.
2007-03-03 09:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it girl, this relationship is OVER. He lost interest a long long time ago and during the latter period it was just for and about the sex. After the final scene where things got physical, it is better to move on.
You cannot be his friend. You can never again be his friend - it is over. Final. Stop blaming yourself, it takes two to tango. This argument was not only about your issues - he had involvement as well.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to green pastures. It is not worth knocking yourself out for something that is not working.
You're going to need lots of love and pampering. I hope you have a good friend to be there for you. Best of luck.
2007-03-03 09:05:46 · answer #3 · answered by MaggieSA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you are pretty bad tempered, emotional and loose your cool easily. That's why he was having second thoughts on being with you.
Your Psychotherapist should be able to give you some hormone balancing medication and you should lay off any relationships for the time being until you feel you are ok.
Meanwhile read up on meditation and being calm is the key to your recovery.
2007-03-03 09:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by Playa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not an easy solution to your dilema, if there even is one. Basically it would be up to him if he's willing to forgive you. Right now he may be afraid of you, no one likes to have their free will restraind, exp. refusing to let him leave. I would give him time and space and see what happens from there. Good for you that you're getting help to avoid something like that happening in the future. Good luck.
2007-03-03 09:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by amberraven2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone until YOU are well! And as long as you are obsessed with him, you are not well. Your fault? There is NEVER...EVER...I MEAN, NEEEVVVVEEERRR an excuse for a man hitting a woman! By the way, that works both ways!
2007-03-03 09:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Mary P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that can take awhile. if he wants to talk to u let him do it on his own. dont push anything it will only make him more mad.
2007-03-03 09:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he is telling you its over and to leave him alone so do it
2007-03-03 09:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by mountainchowpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him. Call me.
2007-03-03 08:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋