and has the remaining 4 days off. I work 5 days a week (50 hrs) at my job. She plays around on thursday and friday going shopping (for clothes not food), watching TV, getting her hair done...and she leaves all the housework for the weekend...then she gets mad because she has too much work to do on the weekend. I help her out some, but I don't think it should be a 50-50 split. Should I feel guilty not helping her with all the housework on the weekends? There is only about 1-1.5 days worth of housework to do. I think since she works half the hours I do, she should make up the difference by doing the housework, and if she chooses to leave it until the weskend, that is her decision she needs to live by.
Am I being taken advantage of here?
2007-03-03 00:15:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no it cant be considered being taken advantage of when you are married, you agreed for better or for worse. If she were a full time homemaker it would be appropriate for you to expect her to do all housework. But since she does work and contributes to the household "regardless" of what it is spent on she is contributing. I suppose my response will anger a few people but I dont think a woman should pay any bills etc. when she is married unless the family is destitute.AND I dont think a woman should "have" to work to contribute to the household which reeks of the mans failure to run his household properly and his finances. I am a mother of soon to be four children and a med student on break for a while and my husband supports them all. i am fully aware of a womans right to work and desire for more out of life than staying at home and having kids blah blah blah, but it is all on the husband morally and religiously speaking to shephard his own flock how he sees fit and when he doesnt do his job properly or neglectfully all hell breaks loose withing the family unit. Personally I like to do things myself and clean by myself and watch the kids by myself because no one can do it as good as I would like it. It would seem however that she sshould be cleaning , cooking, doing laundry grocery shopping, running errands only 30 hours per week if you want to be fair and equal to your work hours and if there are kids that would be hard to split 50/50 unless you lived in different houses. You also need to think what your job consists of and how physically demanding it is in comparison with her job and the 30 hours of homemaking she has to do. would she be more active than you, would she be more tired than you?
2007-03-03 00:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your wife needs to learn how to manage her time more efficiently No, you should not feel guilty about not helping her with all of the housework on the weekends, since she has far more spare time than you do. She needs to get her priorities straight. By getting the housework done before the weekend, that would leave more time for you two to spend time together. It sounds as though she waits until the weekend to get the housework done, because she knows you'll help her, which isn't fair.
2007-03-03 00:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well contrary to what most are saying here...I have to agree with you. Since she isn't working full time...I think she should do the majority of the housework..but not all of it.
That is a choice I make since I work less hours. I do the housework on Fridays, so my sweetie and I have a clean house and we can both relax on the weekends.
If he sees something needs to be done during the week...he will do it without me asking. He doesn't believe it's 'woman's work' to clean. It's just he brings home way more money and works more hours and harder physically than me. I do this because I love him and I love to take care of the house.
I would talk to her and try and work out something that works for *both of you. Explain you like your weekends to be relaxing so you can do things together if you want and you don't like the chaos of cleaning around you all weekend.
1 1/2 days of housework a week seems like a lot! It should take maybe 4-5 hours or so with a concerted effort. So many ways to do it...I just wanted to add that I agree with you, and not that it's her job...but that it only seems fair. Because you seem like the kind of guy who will help out...*****but you need your relaxation time too...and she is getting her 2 days while you are working...so that is not fair for her to do that to you!
Talk...discuss...make a fair plan that works.
Hope you can work something out. Be assertive honey.
2007-03-03 00:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by kallie m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, think of it this way. You both make the mess so why don't you both clean up. Granted she has more time to clean but wouldn't she feel taken advantage of if she did most of the housework? I would suggest you two decide who does what aroud the house and then do that. If she waits to do her stuff then that is on her. You will do your part so she can't complain either. Let her waste her weekends cleaning. Go do your **** during the week and spend your weekends chilling out.
2007-03-03 00:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she should do some housework on her days off, that way you guys could spend some time together on the weekend. My husband works 60 hours a week though and I stay at home with our daughter and on weekends he cooks and does the laundry. I guess I am lucky!!
2007-03-03 00:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should do a few minutes everyday. Housework is easy enough if you do about 20 minutes a day. Doing it all at once is a pain in the ***. Suggest that to her and no, it shouldn't be split 50/50 when she's working half as much as you.
2007-03-03 01:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree with you! I work at the least and its not that often 45 hours a week. Most weeks its 50 plus,, I have to work in the house on my days off, I demanded help from my husband. Like when it rains he doesn't work, he was off 3 days this week, M,T,W, and he did nothing the first 2 days and i went into a fit. He did do something on the 3rd day. I feel the same way you do. I think that some people will take advantage if they can. It makes me feel alot different about him, not in a good way when he soes this to me. I think if someone loves you they would feel bad and do their part, but...... Good LUCK
2007-03-03 00:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, she is taking advantage of you. She's being lazy, because she doesn't want to do the job, so she leaves it at the last minute hoping you will help her out. She needs to do the housework during the week, so that her weekends are free to spend with you. It's only fair, since you are the major breadwinner of your family.
2007-03-03 01:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She should be helping with the house especially when she has those days off. That is the best time to do the housework especially when nobody is home. You should also help around the house as well. You need to sit down and talk to her calmly about this otherwise you are not going to get no where with her.
2007-03-03 02:38:09 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. She works outside of the home for less hours then you do(and days), so I feel that she should be doing more work in the house. Your time off is precious to you, since you have less then half of what she does. She needs to better manage her time. She needs to leave the weekends as y'all's time to spend with each other doing things you want to do, not make you pick up her slack. And yes, you are being taken advantage of.
2007-03-03 01:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋