Family problems...?

Question

Since I was born, my parents have been disputing and arguing constantly until now and trust me, it can get pretty violent. I just reached the limit of how much I can take and now I really don't know what to do. My mum usually starts these fights and although I really love her, sometimes I really want to hit her for what she says. she even disowned once me because of a fight with my dad. Most of the stuff she says, she usually invents and going to a psychiatrist hasn't help at all. I feel really lost and I wish they would divorce but my mum would probably go nowhere as she's jobless and she has no idea how to handle money; that's why she can't leave. I never have the courage to confront them individually but now i really need to do something or I'll break. I want to talk to my mother and try to understand her problems but I'm too scared. What should I do...?

Answer 1

I'm sorry your parents are lousy parents. It's tough growing up with parents that behave stupidly. But, you will grow up. You won't live this way forever. You can learn from a bad example, as well as from good. So, remember. Don't let your parents' lousy example poison your outlook on life. Many marriages are good. Let your memories of how your parents behave, show you how not to behave. Confronting your parents is probably pointless. They are too wrapped up in their own silly games. Try to look to the future, and tell yourself that it won't be long until you're free from the trap you are in now. I also advise you to NOT have much to do with your parents after you move out. They haven't cared enough about you to provide a happy home, so once you are free of them, let them live together in whatever hell they've made for themselves. Focus on yourself, and the spouse and family you'll have someday.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for whats happening in your life. I've been there also. And I know its really hard to handle. Its a touchie situation. But you have to put the scared feelings aside and sit them both down together. It'll be easier on you this way. Because if your Mum desides to get violent your dad will be there.
But first thing, is to tell them both HOW BAD all this argueing has affected your life since you were a child. Let them know how exactly you feel about the whole thing. Once you start talking things will start to come out easily. Because you have had it built up for so long that it will just come pouring out.
Talking to them separtely will only discourage you and you have to say it twice.
Let them know you do LOVE them and that you are tired of all this argueing and your ready to leave because of it. Or their losing your ability to trust them and love them because of it. Just like I said, give it to them with both barrels. Let them know how bad it makes you feel.
Good luck Hon.

Answer 3

You are the child in this relationship and you have no responsibility for your parents actions.
Have to spoken to your father? You do need help but it will have to come from another adult. Is there anyone you can talk to? Your family might need counselling and mediation. Ask your father if you could go to boarding school, be fostered, anything to get his attention!
Your parents have a responsibility towards you and your well being. If they start squabbling, do not get involved. You will probably only make things worse.
Unfortunately, grownups ae always wise and quite frankly, often they're selfish and spiteful. I grew up in a similar enviornment and the one thing I can say to you is: look after yourself. Do not take responsibility for their actions.

Answer 4

You poor thing I wouldn't want to be in your shoes god I wish you all the best but you need some one in your life to talk to some one you can count on bet your not in a hurry to grow up and have a family that's why you will need some guidance so they don't turn you into a time bomb Good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like maybe your family should go to group or family counseling..your mothers behavior is affecting you and your father and is starting for some reason which needs to be addressed. If the counselors could talk to all of you together and individually, they would be able to get to the root of ur mom's issues and at the same time be able to suggest how to handle her outbursts..

Good luck

Answer 6

Like you said, you need to talk to them. it is important for them to know how you feel in this situation. You have to be brave or you will never let out what you feel. If you always keep everything inside, one day it might come back to you and hurts you in the future. So it is important for you to confront them now. Better late than never. I wish you all the best!

Answer 7

Sad to say but there is probably nothing you can do. You can try talking to them and telling them how much it tears you apart to hear them fighting all the time. Do not take sides it takes two to argue. Your mom could be depressed or there could be something you do not know and she is taking her aggression out.

Answer 8

Yeah I have same problem with me. I feel so depressed and anxiety when this situation happened to me. I knew about Doctor Stephen Doyne http://www.drstephendoyne.com/, a well-respected clinical and forensic psychologist with help of friend who is dealing with this type of family disputes problems since many years ago.

Answer 9

hi dear..... try to talk to your mum and your dad and no matter what any of them say don't be upset just try to make them talk to you eventually they may listen to you and feel how much damage they do with their fights
also you need to look at it as a hard lesson in your life, as the old say says " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
just try, and remember one day you will have your own life, you won't just be in your parents house forever so while you are in it try to help them to stop fighting.... they re your parents after all
Good luck

Answer 10

after some time