Ok, I need help, this is what happened.. I wasn't sure about my tendency, until a few months back, and I didn't wanted to accept it until now... the thing is, that I will have about a year with my girlfriend.. I was completely sure about our relationship, until I started to feel things for guys.. I do like her, but I just like feel something stronger on.. a guy..
I do not know what to do, I already confirmed that I'm gay and I'm not scared to say it.. but she doesn't know,and I'm afraid to break her feelings, we are so close and all, but I'm also afraid that eventually I will just not be able to hold this.. and she finds out... What should I do??
should I tell her how I feel?
please help
(please avoid anti-gay comments)
2007-03-02 22:05:47 · 13 answers · asked by the void Alchemist 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
listen, she'd rather know the truth, and know it was nothing she was doing that was breaking up your relationship. i'm sure whether you know it or not you are acting differently around her, and she probably thinks it has something to do with her.
sure, she might be hurt, but in the end i am sure you guys will stay friends and breaking up with her will allow her to continue her life and start dating other people...
do yourselves both a favor and let her know asap
2007-03-03 01:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Taken by a Texan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is stay away from Gay/Straight/Bi definitions. Sort your own head out before you even worry about anyone else. What has brought on this 'discovery'? Is it an attraction towards men or something more? Is this discovery really a sudden revelation or is it really something that has been going on for a while, but you suddenly feel you don't want to 'live a lie' anymore?
With regards to your gf there is no way to avoid hurting her, as it is going to change your relationship. What I would say though is by being honest with her you are doing her a far greater favour than hiding it from her. You need to talk to her, but before you do that think hard about what you want to say and hat means being honest with yourself.
2007-03-02 23:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're really gay, then this relationship is a sham. Better to call it quits now than string her along when you know there's no hope of things ending happily.
Depending upon whether or not you feel ready to come out (because she's going to tell her friends, and they're going to tell everyone else), you might not want to tell her the real reason you're breaking up with her.
It'll hurt her, sure, but she'll recover. She'll get on with her life, and you'll be able to get on with yours.
2007-03-02 23:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you value the relationship, then be honest with her and allow her to decide. I'd like to say that, if she values her relationship with you, she'll accept it and work with you to change the relationship, but unfortunately the world doesn't work that way. Somebody is gonna get hurt here.
You have to tell her though, and trust that you are both mature enough to work through this and come out stronger at the other end of the line. At the end of the day anything else is selfish.
2007-03-03 00:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by dead_elves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth. I was with a a guy for 2 years, and he broke up with me without giving me ANY reason. It drove me off the deep end for a little while. Years later I ran into him and he told me he was gay...and I wished would have just told me then. I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. She might be upeset for a little while, especially if shes homophobic, but at least she will know its not something she did. You might even still be able to be friends again after a cooling off period.
2007-03-02 22:13:03 · answer #5 · answered by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell your girlfriend the truth. I know it will be hard because you do care and it will hurt; however, if you don't tell her it will hurt more later.
I would be as honest with her as you are with us. She may feel confused, angered, and guilty. Be prepared for all of these responses.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-02 23:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for being who you are. Lucky for you there are alot of people in this world who accept people for who they truely are. I know it can be hard to tell your girlfriend, but in the end you have been honest with yourself, now please be honest with her. Who you are on the inside is what counts. She may find this difficult, but the longer you leave it the harder it will be. Please trust in yourself. I hope she can still love you as a friend.
2007-03-02 22:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by smc4u73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make sure you are gay and not just bisexual.. if you really are gay, then you're probably best to end the relationship. neither of you will have a happy loving and sexual relationship if you are gay and she is a woman..
2007-03-03 05:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her. She may be shocked but if done gently you might lose a girlfriend but she may remain your girl friend.
2007-03-02 23:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not waste anybody's time including yours.Face the fact and declare to her your type.If she chooses to stay on with you fine.For me i would leave cursing!
2007-03-02 23:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by mukwathagicu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋