Does/Did it feel akward going through pregnancy with your wife or significant other and what wold you recommend to not feel as if you are a fifth wheel in regards to just being an outsider in the whole ordeal.
2007-03-02 18:40:08 · 9 answers · asked by cowboysfan4lyfe 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you have always been a so-called "outsider" in YOUR relationship, it will be hard to convince your significant other that you suddenly want to become "involved" all of a sudden.
That is why it is important to be an equal contributor from the start.
I cut the umbilical cord at my son's birth, bathed, burbed, fed, changed him, etc. for the most part of the 1st years of his life. Until the ***** said she had NO feelings for him & tried suicide. I am the only REAL mommy he & his brother have ever REALLY EVER known.
Don't miss out on your children & all they are, THEY are the most important thing in THIS life. If anyone tries to prevent you from participating with them, etc. > Tell them to go SHOVE IT.
Believe it or not, US guys/DADS/FATHERS have OUR rights TOO. The man is NOT always the BAD GUY. Many times he IS, but there are MANY, GOOD DADS out there.... who get the shaft.
Note:
During this time the best you can do for her, is to always be there for anything she might need help with..... any little thing.
Always be cheerful & optimistic, & don't think she is not up for sex or other foolishness.... because believe me.... quite the opposite...>some women moreso than others. (but don't force anything, do what is comfortable for her)
2007-03-02 19:12:40 · answer #1 · answered by ccchevydude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy but my hubby doesn't. He is involved in everything and he goes to every doctors appointment with me. Not to mention the baby wouldn't be there without you, which makes me love my hubby even more. He is waiting for those couple weeks where he can feel the baby kick. He loves me telling him about the baby kicks and going with me to look at baby things and toys for baby. Though he cannot have the baby he gets as much time as I do. He heard the first heartbeat and saw the first heartbeat on ultrasound. And we both will know the sex of the baby. He is not an outsider, :) He just gets to miss out on the labor pains (although may go through a Little pain if he is holding her hand in the room) and the pain associated with child birth. Though we can feel the first flutters of baby, my hubby will get to feel the kicks and see the acrobatic baby. He also feels my stomach every day and night to make sure he doesn't miss them. He is an equal participant in these things except he gets the benefits. Not the moody, Sex (or non sex) driven hormones that cause everything from sore boobs to other pains in pregnancy that pregnant women get. So I guess it depends how you look at it. My hubby doesn't see it that way. He loves every moment of me being pregnant (though I could do without the low sex drive) and would never even think he is the fifth wheel. No there is no awkwardness to it. In fact, with the help of the little things (or in some cases big things) he does, it makes things wonderful. From feeling the baby to rubbing feet (which I hate for both of us to do but since have been pregnant have really needed) he is a huge relief and participant. It is all how you look at it I guess.
18 weeks pregnant.
2007-03-02 18:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dude, just remember that you did your part already and keep involved wholey and completely during the entire process. The first time you feel this baby kick you or move around you will be amazed. If your there when its born even better. As far as feeling like a fifth wheel.............well there are more of you in the family now than there was before and this woman just pushed a living human being out of her that was with her inside her for almost a year, so the bond with her child is there and your just......... not first in her life anymore like you were before. She dosen't love any less but maybe even more. But remember that she has someone to take care of and someone who needs all of her time even if it takes the rest of both your lives.
2007-03-02 18:55:13 · answer #3 · answered by The Answer Guy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a really good question.
My BF didnt feel awkward or like a fifth whell. In fact he made me feel like a fifth wheel sometimes lol.
He was with me with every appointment, ultrasound, hospital tour. He talked to my belly and rubbed it and kissed it (probably more than he did me). He had great fun shopping for all the cute little clothes and toys, he'd get so excited with each purchase, making plans on child rearing and how our kid would turn out.
Being with me and helping me through the morning/all day sickness. He enjoyed taking care of me when I could barely waddle around.
We would sit on the lounge and he would put his head on my belly and whisper to the baby all the time, I was never allowed to hear what he was saying. He would feel the baby kick and move and watch hands and feet trying to push out of my belly. He would gently tap my belly in one spot and tell the baby to kick there, sometimes they would and he loved it.
Sharing all the experiances isnt awkward it creates more love to see the Dad be so excited and involved. Its all so precious.
2007-03-02 22:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I'm a girl but I got my friends with benes father of my child a book called the "Expectant father" It worked out well for him almost like a what to expect when your expecting for the guy, has 3 different sections for each chapter/month, the baby, the mom, and you the father...what is going on mentally physically with everyone.
Also I suggest trying to make it to all of the appts...she may not realize it now but it helps. Suggest you two do stuff together like the 4d ultrasound, baby registry(if timing works do it on mothers day),
We had a co-ed baby shower since we have seperate friends...even if you don't have one of these you need to get her something for her at her baby shower, bath things...soemthing she would like and give it to the person planning it...major points.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-02 18:53:06 · answer #5 · answered by maxtonamvl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on if you are wanting it. when my wife got pregnant, it was planned. so, no, it wasn't weird at all. you ARE NOT an outsider. without u, she wouldn't be pregnant. anyone that says you are don't know what they are talking about. get involved as much as you can. help her whenever she feels bad. (it will be alot). lol. you're only as distant as you make yourself. good luck and congrats!!
2007-03-02 18:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what you do while she is pregnate is wrong, trust me we all feel like a 5th wheel until she has the baby. just try to be supportive.
2007-03-02 19:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by droopydawg001 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must get involved as it will change both your lives.
2007-03-02 18:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by ★Greed★ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are an outsider, you cant ever get between her and her baby and other women are the only ones who will understand, go build a car for 9 months.
2007-03-02 18:47:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 6⤋