I need advice desperatly?

Question

I used to be with this guy for 3 years and we broke up. Then we were on and off for 2 years. We have a child together who is 4. He is in the military and I am stuck in colorado. I am trying desperatly to win him back. Especially since he has a new girlfriend. We got together everytime he came down. Except this last time. He passivly told me about his girl. I love this man and cannot picture my future without him. But its been 1 year since our final brea up. other then when he comes down on his leaves and we got together. Please help me I would like some advice on how to win him back.

Answer 1

You can't get him back, because you've never had him. Yes, you dated, and slept together. But, it never meant enough to you two that you felt the need or desire to marry. So, you just played house. Now, he no longer wishes to play. He certainly has obligations concerning his child, but he owes you nothing.

Answer 2

Honey, this is the hard part about love. You can't MAKE somebody love you the way you love them. You can try everything short of standing on your head if it'll make you feel better, but I think you should focus all this energy into moving on. I know you want advice on "winning him back", but honey, people in relationships are not prizes. They are either in it because that is where their heart lies, or they aren't in it at all. He's made it clear, and it's been a year. I'm sorry hon, I know it's not what yo want to hear, but it's time to let go sweetie and move on. You are just wasting time that you are never going to get back. I know you envision this perfect little family.....but how perfect would it be if you constantly had to dance circles around someone just to keep them? It would get old after awhile and you'd get the same results you have now.....let him go, but keep the peace for the sake of your child.

Answer 3

Well, letting him use you as a booty call certainly will not win him back. I suggest you get a "boyfriend" of your own, either real or made up. Don't be so easy so to speak. Don't call him. Go out on dates with other men, or at least alude to the idea that you do. Don't tell him what you are up to all the time. Be mysterious. When HE calls YOU, don't always answer; and when you do answer, limit the conversation to 10 minutes and then YOU end the conversation first. If you do see him, end the meeting first.

Answer 4

I am a firm believer that the parents of every child should be married to each other. My son and his wife were separated and living apart for five years before they finally got married. I encouraged them to work at it, and, never give up hope. As a Christian Counselor, I have seen relationships brought back from the brink of disaster. I suggest that you seek counseling, with or with out him. There are a wide variety of methods by which you can get counseling. I once helped to reconcile a broken marriage on-line, with the man in the Army in Texas, and the woman living with their son in Mississippi. They traveled to my home in Iowa, so I could remarry them. He has since been deployed to Iraq, for a second time. This time, he has a wife and son waiting at home for him. It was a wonderful experience. So, I encourage you to pray for reconciliation, seek wise and competent counsel.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

"There are other fish in the sea."

Remember that. I used to think the same way about a woman I loved, but even though I still have a place in my heart for her I've found someone new I lover her as well and I don't have to sacrifice my happiness to keep her.

You can proclaim your love and the sacrifice your willing to make for this man over any media you desire but it isn't going to bring him any closer to you.

If your still not convinced. Then the best fire to fight a cocky man with a girl is jealously. He knows your jealous, men can see it easily. Find another guy and flaunt him in front of the man you love he'll get jealous and start to chase you. Remember most men like the chase, not to be chased.

Answer 6

This is not the answer you want to hear but this is my opinion from a lot of experience. Don't bother. There is something better for you. There was a reason for your break up. What was it? Has that situation changed ? What makes you think things will work out now?

Start working towards putting yourself in the position to provide for your child and yourself. Focus on making your life better. You will attract a better kind of man because you will be a better kind of woman.

Answer 7

The last thing you need to do is appear desperate. He is with someone now, and maybe he will eventually get back together with you, but you need to be more concerned right now with your life as it is. He may never come back, and you do not need to waste your time waiting on him. Certainly be sure to keep in contact for your child's sake, but do not hold on for him.
Start to develop a full and complete life without him. You will be much happier with yourself and more ready for a good relationship when it comes along.

Answer 8

Well sometimes what we want and need god has other wants and needs for us.Its all in gods time not ours if he has moved on then he must not love u as u love him. god does and will bless your broken road. And you will be so much happier cause your joy is back in your life. They say everything happens for a reason and soon you will find your reason. I once learned you cant make noone love you. no matter how bad your pain is are will be. God promises this all things shall come to pass and so shall this.It takes two people to be in love not one.no matter what u do are say he has to make his own choice to be with you are with out you and you need to face it theres no more you can do.

Answer 9

Main thing is be truthful to you and your guy....now that he is with another girl, in my opinion its not the correct time to win him over....But continuously keep in touch with him....as soon as he comes to you, tell him how you feel about him....believe me no one in this world would leave a person who loves them alot....thats the universal truth....

so for now what you can do is, move on with your normal life....I mean go out with friends and stuff like that....and make sure he knows it....so then he may get upset about that and may return back to you.....

as I see now what has happened is, he is taking the demanding position and he knows that what ever he does, you will forgive him for that....dont let that happen....in a relationship both has to have an equality....so enjoy your self too....start it from today!!!!

so, once he returns to you, you sit with him and do some serious talk....and try to get him committed....
so once he get to know that you truly love him, then he may not try to leave you again....love him unconditionally....but make sure you give him his space, coz any man wants to have a free time of their own....and dont go after him too much, then he will reject you more....wait till he comes to you and then tell how you feel about him....dont hurry, then you may mess up every thing....just wait till the right moment to nail him down....

all the very best to you!!!!

Answer 10

Sweetie forget about him its evident that he's moved on and you have to as well. If you keep thinking about ways to get him back you'll only hurt yourself. If he has a girlfriend and has talked about her to you he's obviously letting you know that he's over you and he has someone new in his life. Let him go and find someone better for yourself. I know its hard but it will take time, especially since you see him often because of your child, and dont worry cuz you cant get over someone over night. But if you take it day by day you'll slowly be over him.