Getting over it...?

Question

I'm having trouble getting over something that happened a few years ago. It was a major event in my new adult life, and I make alot of bad choices with some bad results. I feel fine most of the time, but I often dream of what happened and sometimes I feel REALLY bad. What can I do to forgive myself, and get over my past and continue on?

Answer 1

Confession...

Answer 2

Did you own up to the dastardly deed?
Did you apologize to any who you wounded?
Did you make reparation if damages were incurred?
Did you ask for and receive forgiveness?
Did you believe that you were forgiven?
Did you go, vowing never to do that again?
Did you keep your vow?

Did you cause irreparable damage to property or another person?
Did you lose to yourself a formerly cherished associate or love interest?
If you can not answer yes to the last two,
And, if there is nothing you can do to make it right.
Then do a kind of penance like community service so that you can allay some of your guilt.
Guilt is what is making you replay both the mistake and experience anew the self-hatred.
You, my friend are your own worst enemy.
That is not your proper role.
Stop judging and give yourself a reprieve.
It is about time.
That's all I can offer.
That and a prayer that you find peace.

Answer 3

I agree with 4ever + I like cs's burning letter idea, too...

Ask for forgiveness from the person(s), and to those it might have affected.... If that is no longer possible, then ask for forgiveness from them inside your heart. Actually, this is enough. Tell them that you are very, very truly sorry for what you did (whether it was purposefully or accidentally), and and that you are also truly sorry for causing any pain or suffering they might have experienced afterwards as a result.... tell them that it wasn't your intention.... tell them that you ask for their forgiveness from the bottom of your heart......

We all make BIG mistakes... and we must forgive ourselves for making them. Even if we performed the harm with malicious intent, forgiveness is still possible. Why? Because when we harmed the other person(s), our primary motive was our own happiness, and not really the harm of the other. We only made a mistake in our judgment of what action would bring us happiness. The mistake has happened and can't be undone - the only thing we can do is learn from the mistake and its prevent its future occurence, whether in our own lives, or the lives of others.

As a way to continue on, you can consider aiding those in need who suffered the same pain that you caused to those in your past. For example, if you hurt somebody's heart, then you can try to comfort those around you whose hearts have been hurt also. Or, make up your mind that when you see others about to cause the same suffering that you caused, you will act to prevent it.

Answer 4

Write a detailed report about that incident, including how and why it happened. Don't add any stupid justification to support your action.( No one is going to see it ). Only analyse the causes and the circumstances. If you are religious, sincerely ask God for Pardon and assume that it is granted. Resolve not to repeat the error in future (even if no one is ever going to know about it). If you are not religious, promise to your own self that you are done with this type of mistakes and that there won't be repetitions.
Now take this report to a secluded place, set fire to it and bury the ashes, deep down in the mud. Take a deep breath and smole. Come back home . with seven Kilos of weight off your chest and congestion off your mind.My guarantee that you won't have that troubling dream ever again.

Answer 5

Just remember that alot of people have done alot worse things than you - if there's nothing you can do to correct your mistake then the fact you feel guilty is remorse enough. Go out and do something nice once in a while - volunteer somewhere for a good cause. Forgive yourself already!

Answer 6

Believe that everything, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.There is some good in everything. Some good can come from everything.No matter how bad. Sometimes the most wise among us have had the greatest tragedy befall them. Perhaps you need to truly forgive others no matter how great their sin before you can truly forgive yourself. How ever great, deep and dark life seems, it could ALWAYS be worse. From that the thankfulness can begin.

Answer 7

Your power is in the NOW.
Focus on what makes you feel good. After a while you will develop the habit of noticing when your mood goes for a dip and this will act as a wake-up call.
You were programmed to suffer because your significant others thought that was a good thing. You know better and it is time to re-program so you can lead your own life in joy and happiness.

Answer 8

To repent on some mistake done in the past is a good sign of purity of your soul. Now, you can get rid of those memories by adopting one or more of the following action steps:
- Try to go for meditation immediately as soon as you get memory of the bad choice;
- Can start helping small kids in their work or studies;
- Can start helping the people who are susceptible to such mistakes and save them from repeating the mistake you did in your life;
- Can think of starting some sort of training centre for getting rid of such mistakes from the society.
Try to spend as much of your time as possible with the unfortunate people of the society who need your help in terms of service, providing relief or entertainment etc.

Answer 9

What answer do you want to hear?

The more choices you make, the more often you make bad ones.
He who makes the most, makes the most mistakes.

I guess people tend to criticize you for your mistakes, rathen than hold you in high regard for your accomplishments. It sucks. That's life. Move on. Do something else.

Screw it. So what. It's hard to overcome peer pressure.
People telling you how to lead your life when they can't even run their own.

There was a good website about Edison and Jelly Beans.
here. Read this
http://empoweringmessages.com/articles/1141771876_Thomas_Edisons_3_Secrets_of_Persistence_by_Randy_Gilbert.shtml

Answer 10

you need to ask for forgiveness. weather it's from the person that you hurt thru the "bad time" or even if you need to ask God for forgiveness.

doing things to your self that are harmful to not help. they might for a while, but they can become very serious problems.

try to pray and get past the bad times. things will work out.

Answer 11

Would you do it again? Who else besides you was involved? Have you made any attempt to make it right? Or atleast sayI I am sorry to the person(s) you felt you have wronged? You create your own circumstances! What would you like to see? Make it happen! Forgiveness is the greatest, even if it is only one-sided!