I'm a 16 year-old girl who fell in love with another girl. I've loved her for about 2 years, with all my being. I'm actually very mature for my age, and understand the pros and cons of being with a same-sex person. Three months later after we were officially a couple (April '06) I told my mother that I was dating her. She took it very, very bad, and told my father as soon as he got home. About 20 days later, my father kicked me out of the house. My mother's plan was to take me to her mother's house (which is VERY far away) so she could keep me away from my girlfriend. I refused to go, and agreed to get out the house. Well, to make it short, I returned home later that night. That day really scarred me for life. I kind of cry everytime someone asks me about my relationship with my parents. My love's mother transferred her to another school (8 months ago) and my parents won't let me see her. We're still together, but we feel very sad because of all this rejection. Any opinions?
2007-03-02 16:14:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hang in there. Talk with a sympathetic teacher or school counselor. My family did something very similar for a little bit...it actually contributed a lot to most of my current problems (my own weakness and hanging around Mr. Wrong contributed the rest).
If your girlfriend is a good girl, you probably have little to worry about. Soon you will be 18. Just whatever you do, keep up your grades and get yourself college bound.
Try not to fall into any sort of depression. Keep yourself busy...if you find yourself lonely and borred, a rough schedule can help...
1) Besides doing your best in class and talking to teachers (for both support and help on classwork), when you find yourself sad, read a chapter in the school textbook. Wallowing in despair, along with finances, did me in ultimately in my second year of post-graduate training. Remember in the end, it is your own success that matters - when you are well off, the condemnation of those who care about you is less costly in practical terms. And when you're no longer dependent on your parents, and living in a college dormitory getting your bachelor's degree, your contact with your love will not be so limited.
2) There are some nice games (and even text-based games) on the internet that can provide support through new friends. Have you tried utopia of swirve games? You'll be placed in kingdoms (groups of other players) who will follow you from age to age. While it may take a few times to get into a supportive kingdom (avoid supers who demand all of your time and those with personalities that clash with yours), it can provide some support. There's also miniclip.com that is a great time-waster.
3) There are support groups you can join. Yahoo answers is one great one.
4) Get help from your friends, school, and community when possible. Sympathetic people can help a long ways.
5) Remember to study and study and advance yourself. Success is more important for gays than for straights in general as family is a lot less supportive. A "straight" person may get generous financial help from his parents...but upon coming out of the closet will be shunned. You need to go to college (minimum wage is not enough to sustain life, believe me), take out whatever student loans you need (a decent job will pay it back one day), and study. You'll need to be self-sufficient in the future.
6) Budget your money. Upon becoming an adult, your financial matters can mean the difference between poverty and making it alive. What money you get from student loans, credit, and auto loans (one day) most be regulated to the best of your ability.
7) Is there anyway of secretly communicating occasionally? That can maintain the relationship.
8) Be careful. Some people are bad, some are good. 50% of marriages end in divorce. While it would make a great love story if your relationship survived the turmoil, and would even be a testament to its strength, don't do something you would otherwise know to be very unwise just for love. For instance, don't give away your life savings because of a horrible story (if the other person really loved you, he/she wouldn't put you in financial danger when there are banks, loans, and jobs), or get a life insurance policy that is worth more than you are. Keep your common sense.
I don't really know. I hope that helps. I certainly wish you the best of luck. One day, things will be better.
O...and lets give the first two answers bad ratings. Anti-gay commentary is definitely a bad answer.
2007-03-02 17:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by Future Pathologist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
F*** those people who say it's wrong, they've never in they "angelic" little meaningless lives gone against what their parents said was wrong. I don't have good advice for you on this one, but I offer my support. Sometime the best thing you can do is show your parents you don't need their support- if you can. And if not, maybe deal with it for another year or two and then ditch 'em. But sometimes, if you can be strong for just a little while and show them that you're strong and can make it without them, they'll come around. In the end, (I don't mean to sound like a naysayer) I wouldn't put too much into your girlfriend either. Relationships begun at 16 rarely make very far outside of high school. But good luck, and find your straight and cling to it (even more so if you can find it within yourself).
2007-03-03 02:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by blue_devil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a friendly family member or person in the community that can help. If you're parents are willing to throw your out because of your sexuality they probably wouldn't mind you moving out. Get a job and a vehicle, even if it's just an $800 vehicle and a minimum wage job. STAY IN SCHOOL! You two can make it on your own together, but it would be very, very tough. Also, make friends and contacts in the GLBT community. They can help you during this tough time and be a good source of emotional support.
2007-03-03 00:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The news of your relationship w/ you GF must have come as quite a shock to your folks, but you shouldn't give up ! Only you can live your life and you have to do what is best for you.Maybe keep your relationship on the down low from your folks for a bit and give them some time to adjust. You definately need to get organized w/ your GF for your future together. The only way you will be able to make it through all of this is through dedication and hard work together. Good luck !
2007-03-03 11:22:01 · answer #4 · answered by johnnyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to fall in love with other women...this is basically what your entire life is going to be like. Life is about choice, you're free to make the choice you want to make but you better be ready to take the consiquences.
Your young, go find you a nice guy to fall in love with like most normal people and give yourself a chance at a happy life like you are entitled to.
God Bless.
2007-03-03 02:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the person who posted under ally_oop_ needs to go get screwed thats totally irelevent. its all in the brain i think you need the f-in help ! ! ! ! ! ! !! !!
2007-03-03 00:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by NICK 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your family will need professional help. Being a homosexual is very much wrong. The healing process here may take a long time. If you drop a bombshell like that in your parents lap, you should expect a bad day.
2007-03-03 00:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by ally_oop_64 4 · 0⤊ 6⤋
How do i put this? WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE GAY, DO YOU READ HISTORY? SAME SEX HAS NEVER WORKED. THATS HOW THE ROMANS DIED!!! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE A BIG DECISION LIKE THIS, THEN YOU ARE A BIG "GIRL" AND LIVE ON YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-03 00:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋