Ladies...is it just me???

Question

I am 25 years old, a mother of 2, a wife of 5 years and have ZERO sex drive. There are rare occasions that I actually want to have sex, but most of the time I fake it and suffer through the act just for my husband's sake. I have felt like this since my 2nd daughter was born almost 5 years ago (when I was only 20!). I want so badly to be able to have an appetite for sex, but it just does't happen. I could seriously go the rest of my life without sex!! Are there other women out there who feel the same way as me? Preferrably women who are around my age. What are some things that you have done in order to "fix" yourself?

Answer 1

When you have children, your hormones tend to sort of get out of wack. I think it's sort of honourable that you're "suffering through" the act for your husband's sake ... but chances are he'd feel bad if he knew such a thing. And, well, you want to be able to enjoy it, too!

How has your diet changed since then? Perhaps you're feeling low about yourself and an upgrade in diet and exercise will get your blood flowing and get you feeling sexy again. And please don't think that there's something "wrong" with you and you need to be "fixed" ... you're not broken, honey, you've just got something you need to work through!

I would also suggest speaking with your husband. Perhaps him just knowing and possibly trying to seduce you with that spark you had pre-children will help. Also, do you stay at home while he works? Do you feel like you do an awful lot around the house and maybe sex just feels like one more obligation? Something that you kind of have to do but isn't necessarily gratifying for you? Maybe your husband can try helping you out around the house more. There is nothing sexier than watching a man in the kitchen ... doing the dishes, wearing and apron and possibly cooking ... mm, mm, mm!

Also, you will definitely want to have a chat with your (OB)Gyn to possibly get your hormone levels tested in case you need some supplements or something. Also try some women's vitamins. Women's sex drives are said to increase with age (while men's apparently decrease), and at 25, it certainly seems like you ought to be engaged in having a sexual appetite. However, everyone IS different, and everyone libidos are different. But definitely look into these things if you're wanting to get that libido back!

Hope this helped at least a little bit. ;)

Answer 2

Without kids, I went through something similar and doc gave me progesterine tablets--they really make you want to do it!

Ask about a cream (its usually 25/month) or so--but totally worth it!!

I know a cream is legal in the states but it wasn't in Canada at the time when it was me.