My friend was raped 2 years ago and i don't know what to do.?

Question

My friend recently confided in me that 2 years ago she was raped. So i am unsure what to do. She has only told 4 people including me, and none of those are her parents. She apparently didn't do anything because she thought he deserved to be forgiven. I would really be happy if she could tell her mom, but i'm not sure how to get her to. She really is a good person and sometimes she's not as harsh as she should be. I really want to help her out and she is really sensitive about it. Please no offending remarks or anything this is a very serious subject for me, she is a really good friend and i care for her so much.

She is a minor, but this guy is no longer near her.

Answer 1

That's so nice that you care for your friend so much. Although I think that she really should press charges, it is her decision. The rape was something that she had no power over, so let her regain some power in her life by making this decision herself. But you do know your friend better, and if you see clear signs that she truly feels the need to tell her parents or press charges but is too scared then give her some encouragement in the right direction. Suppressing emotions and knowledge of the rape may cause your friend’s healing process to take longer. Perhaps seeing her rapist be brought to justice will help the process along. She might be afraid of emotional abuse from others if it becomes common knowledge. I'm sure that she'll see that your intentions are good and that you’re looking out for her interests. She seems very understanding and I doubt that she’ll view any advice that you give her as offensive or nosy. If she’s under 18, or was young when it happened then encourage her to tell her parents. That’s too harsh of a burden to carry for someone young. It could also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder. If she can forgive a rapist, then she’s a compassionate person, so appeal to her compassion. Tell her that you want to help her regain control of her life, but that you worry about her welfare which seems increasingly at risk by not seeking help. Tell her that a vital part of healing is her family’s support, and that they can’t provide that for her unless she tells them what happened. Reassure her that you won’t ever betray the confidence that she’s placed in you. Tell her that she has a long life ahead of her, so why aggravate the trauma by not seeking help? Why not make her life a happier and more secure one? Show her how much you care and that your actions are out of regard for her well being. Listen to her if she wants to talk to you about it, but don’t pressure her to reveal anything that she’s not comfortable in telling. I’m sending you an article on this and I hope that it helps

Answer 2

Alls you can really do is get her to talk to you about the situation repeatadly, this will help her with coping and make it easier for her to talk to others. Do not throw a hint to go and see a professional at her, that would probably send her into a downward spiral and she would think you didnt want to listen. Talk to her each time about what could have happened to her, help her realize that a rapist is a person that should die. Alright well you probably dont need to throw that at her either seeing how it is she seems to be the kind of person that could forgive literally anyone that does her wrong.

But it is best that she knows that what happened to her was very bad, granted it is too late to press charges, but if you can tell her how much she would be helping out other women who wont be able to handle such a situation like she has, by turning the guy in to the authorities, that would probably make her feel better. But all you can do is get her comfortable with talking about the situation and then suggest later on down the road that she should let her Mother know.

Answer 3

You sound like a great friend, and that is exactly what she needs. Depending on how old she is, telling her mom is her decision. unless she is a minor, then she absolutely needs to tell her mom, Especially if this monster is still around her.

I know that she will never forget what happened to her but if she feels like she has forgiven the person she has a better outlook on life that most of us. I sure have to give her credit for that.

I think you are doing all you can just by being there for her when she needs to talk. if and when she asks for your help be ready to help but until then just try to be understanding, everyone handles things in their own way. you are doing all you can for her at this point.

Answer 4

When you say she thinks he should be forgiven it makes me want to cry. That is wrong. He doesn't deserve any forgiveness. I don't know if she is truly over what happened or if she is just repressing the pain. After four years there isn't anything you can do to persecute him, but I'm sure he'll get his along the way.
Talk to your friend, she doesn't have to tell her parents if she is too uncomfortable with it and she is okay. If she understands that this was not her fault and she accepts that it was his fault then she is okay. If she thinks that she somehow provoked him then she should get counseling.
Has she ever spoken to an adult about this? She should talk to an adult she trusts be it an aunt uncle or school counselor.

Answer 5

Why do you feel like she needs to tell her mom? If you care for her like you say you do, and seem to, then just be there for her. Be a good friend to her, and don't mess up the trust she has given to you by confiding in you with this burden. When and if she's ready, she'll tell her mom. That's her decision. All you should be doing for her is what she asks of you, no more than that.

Answer 6

You should help her find a rape support group or many women's shelters have outreach councelling for this sort of thing or they can at least tell you where to head.

If you have a police station nearby, you could just stop in & say that you were doing a school project on local support groups in this particular matter--what would they suggest to do.

In the event the police see through you--so what? Chances are they won't call your bluff & help you anyway.

Answer 7

Rape can leave physical and emotional scars that last a long time. Some victims find that emotional scars never go away. Long-term counseling can help you to deal with guilt, fear, depression, anxiety and other emotions. Many victims also get help by joining support groups.


http://dailystrength.org/support/Traumas_Injuries/Rape/?gclid=CNSY3dHp14oCFRBCgQodOVn5xA

Try letting your friend know that you are there for her and that she needs to speak to someone to get her emotions out about it. The above link is something I found where you can do this.

Good luck and you are a good friend for worrying. Just be there for her.

Answer 8

that's unquestionably a terrible difficulty and he or she is fortunate to have you ever for a chum. i could in simple terms be there for her while she needs to talk approximately this on account that's what's going to help her to get by way of it. each and every each and every now and then human beings in simple terms choose a solid chum which will hear to them and empathize them approximately it. I even have faith she needs some counseling to heal the scars.

Answer 9

I'm not sure you should do anything. It really is her choice to tell people (including her parents). If she has chosen to keep this under wraps, you need to support her decision. I would just let her know that you are there for her and are ready to listen if and when she is ready to talk. This has to be her choice.
I commend her for her forgiving nature. If this is the path she has chosen you need to respect that and leave all the decisions up to her.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

It's been two years so your friend should be past the worst but still scarred. It's hard to talk of so don't pressure her too much. If your friend has developed a destructive or unsual lifestyle since the crime, get her to a professional. Most of all, be there for her as the friend you are.