I have a step daughter, who is really mouthy to me. she is not mouthy to any one but me. We got custody of them because they were in a bad situation, and now if I correct her I feel guilty. I don't want to be considered the evil stepmother, so what do I do?
2007-03-02 14:45:52 · 19 answers · asked by luv4u05 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Don't feel guilty. She's a child and you are the adult. She only does it to you because she can get away with it. Sit down and speak to your husband about it and then you all 3 sit down and discuss the situation together. Explain to her that you understand what she may have been through in her bad situation. However, you are now here living with us and that she is to respect you.
Don't feel that you are the evil stepmother, you are just being a responsible adult. Explain that you will no longer tolerate her mouthing off, period. She'll walk around with her face tied in a knot for a little while, but eventually she'll get over it. Let her know that she can make her situation there as pleasant or not as she wants it to be. Stand by what you say.
2007-03-02 14:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by fefe917 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it will be almost impossible to stop her from being mouthy whithout being evil (in her mind).... but as a young teenager uh i would say u need to take things away but u need skill at this cuz things r more important then others... so shes a teen and (a girl) so i would say, start taking away the computer especially msn. and of course TV, and than she wont be able to watch her favorout shows, so if need be no american idol lol if she likes that show, or u could go for her social life, by cutting off the phone and not allow her to go out with friends after school. and tell her that until she starts to respect you and not be mouthy she will lose privlages because she is under ur custady because u were nice and caring enough to get her out of the bad situation that she was in..
2007-03-03 00:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a stepmother, my dad married her and just right away expected us to "click" sorry it does not work that way. Your step daughter is going to see every bad side of you and notice everything you do wrong. If I were you, I would take it slow, just kind of start off by maybe you two going out for coffee together, going shopping, talk to her about what she likes and doesnt like. If she goes with you, then there's a chance, if she does not wanna go with you, just say "okay well if you ever need a ride or want to go somewhere let me know" and as for the mouthy part, just say you don't like hearing that kind of language in general and that you'd appreciate it if she quit. It'll take awhile so don't push. SHes a teen, so dont go straight to trying to discipline her, try to talk to her first you know what I mean? I was 14 when my dad remarried and he just said "respect her, obey her etc" when that is very hard to do knowing she's not my mother and should not be incharge of me when I hardly knew her. SO take it slow. Goodluck
2007-03-02 22:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by mrs.russell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is not going to appreciate your correcting no matter what. To her, your an intruder. Put, your guilt aside, it only makes you weaker. You need to show her that you are now the authority figure, THE ADULT!! take control of the household, do not let her get the impression she is running the show. Next time she mouths off, give her a warning and tell her that there will be a punishment the next time. If she mouths off again, INFORCE THE PUNISHMENT!!! if you do not inforce, or rather follow through with the punishment than she will not take you seriously. Also make sure that you explain to your husband why she was punished and make sure he follows the punishment through as well. If he does not agree with the punishment, than he should not express it in front of the her. This will only start the "PLAYING THE PARENTS GAME". She will try to get you two to argue to where she has been forgotten about and scott free. So speak with your husband ( in private ) about a reasonable punishment for the times she does decide to mouth off when he is not around. The only way to do this is with teamwork with your husband. Make sure your husband expresses his agreement to the punishment given to her as well. This way she will not blame all her punishments on the "wicked stepmother"
Hoped this helped you and good luck.
2007-03-02 22:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by stick_e_bun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no EXCUSE in the WORLD for a ten to be mouthy and to get away with it...she can send up all the reasons i'm in puberty,i'm on my period i had a bad day my head hurts my boyfriend broke up with me i'm a teenager it's normal.....i DON'T thinkso.no human being has the right tomouth off rudely to another and exspecially to there parents, why on earth would you feel guilty for correcting her, you should feel guilty for all the times you didn't, when it didn't seem like a big deal at the time, all those no-big deals have mounted into a monster and it's time to crack the whip CONSISTENTLY.(what would your mother do?)oh i'm sorry,as i was going to submit i read more of your question,ok where is DAD in all this,do you all need counseling cause being a 'MAN" dear old daddy needs to step up to the plate and put an end to this, know i understand your guilt,but you can't dwell on her past you must think of hers and the rest of the families futre
2007-03-02 23:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by gone fishing! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is a "pre teen" that pretty much spells puberty...think back when you were in puberty, did YOU have an easy time of it? Now think about HER having to go through puberty with a "broken home" having move in with her dad and step mother because of the bad situation, having to change her entire life all over...changing schools, leaving friends behind, basically having to start over being "the new kid". And WHERE is her father in all of this. You say nothing of him having anything to do with her that could be part of the problem right there.
2007-03-02 22:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop feeling guilty she won't respect you if you back down but also let her know if she needs someone to talk to you are there be firm but be loving at the same time. just u wait though not to long she will be mouthy to EVERYONE it's part of being a female preteen. female preteens and teens are far worse then males.
2007-03-02 22:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Gypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, Shes a pre-teen so obviously she is going through puberty. You cant stop her being mouthy, Its hormones, You just have to deal with it for a few years. Dont worry your not alone lol
2007-03-03 05:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by OhReally 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont feel guilty for correcting her..thats what she needs and someday she will thank you..she needs to learn sometime that being mouthy idn't good like when she gets a job and is mouthy to them that job won't last very long
2007-03-02 22:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by shortnsexy080 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the father sit her down and talk to her. You are considered a threat in her eyes. As far as discipline, the father should be the one to handle that. You can be the babysitter for the discipline but not the one that doles it out. Ask your husband if he would go to counseling with the daughter in order to get this under control.
2007-03-02 22:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by letgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋