Dealing with cheating while pregnant.?

Question

My husband cheats while he's away. I'm pregnant, I don't have family, no friends willing to help me, bills to pay,no training or college degree. It's easy to say leave, but where the hell will I go 7 months pregnant with no money?I start school Spring 08 but until then I feel I have to put up with it til I figure a plan to leave.What would you do?

ok people i literally have no family,distant relatives who are abusive at least he doesnt hit me.you act like a divorce is done over night and then the money comes the next day,be realistic.im going to leave this far in my pregnancy and be worse off,i need a plan that works for long term i have this baby to think about

Answer 1

I'm sorry you have no family or friends willing to help you, it must be hard. Divorce doesnt come over night like you said, it can take months or even years to finalize. First off whatever you do dont let his cheating stress or worry you, its not good for the baby. This may sound cruel and some people may think its wrong but I would stick around untill I had a safe and healthy place to go, you cant end up on the street...it isnt good for you or the baby. Try and find someone who is trust worthy and see if they can help, also there are programs through some states that can help you. They will give you free medical, food stamps, cash assistance and a clean place to live. Sounds bad to some people but sometime it take alittle help to get you back on your feet. You seem smart and im sure you know thats not a healthy relationship for you or your baby to be in, find a way out before its to late. Your situation is shitty and i feel for you, but do whats best for both you and the child and get out. I wish you the best of luck and i truely hope it works out for you.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for you. Is there any way that you can get state funding or provincial funding? Have you been getting routine STD tests during the pregnancy? If he is having unprotected sex while he is away, I would suggest not having sex with him. You may be putting your baby at risk. I wish you didnt have to be in this situation. I cant imagine what you might be going through. Where I live they have homes that take women in and out of crappy relationships. Can you get into one of those? I know it must be scary to even think about leaving him, but it is not healthy for you to stay, and it wont get any better. If you are married then he will have to support you even if you leave. He will have to pay child support when the baby comes, and if you dont work, he may be ordered to pay alamony. I wish you all the best, and a safe delivery.

Answer 3

After the baby is born, get an IUD. Then make a plan. If he is cheating, don't have sex with him. He could bring home a disease. Open a bank acct. and start saving and see a lawyer. They can advise you. Remember, if you divorce you get half of anything you guys have under marriage, house, car, ailimony, etc. You need to tell this man that if he wants to see his children that he better stop. Then do not forgive. Get him to give you things and sell them on the side. Yes, school is a good idea. But I'd start lining up a job anyway. Good luck. You shouldn't tolerate this. He doesn't deserve your love and the family you are giving him.

Answer 4

Will he pay child support and if it applies alimony> This isn't a remedy either cause that takes time.Sounds like you're done with him and he won't admit he's an ***....your choices are few right now, but you can divorce him , go to court an let the system help you or divorce him and try to get some government help with housing, food assistance and medical for you and your child......I am so sorry for your pain....Start the ball on the roll or you will be in trouble when the **** hits the fan.

You could also stick it out, give birth and get the medical benefits owed to you and the baby....and agree after the baby is born to let him have his freedom....it's all pretty sticky but be strong..Women are strong ...Find a support system out there check the papers for ads referring you to groups that will be supporting during this time...you can also ask your physician for referrals to these agencies.......GOOD LUCK and Stay Strong....

Answer 5

I don't know where you live but in almost every town there is a woman's shelter---I know you are not in need of shelter right now BUT they usually have counslers who can help you figure out a way to start a future of independence.

Remember, if your hubby brings a disease home he might not know it for a week before symptoms start so you can be infected with an STD and your BABY can be permanently handicapped!! {a friend went thru this & has a son with a heart defect so PLEASE, think about the baby} or at the very least, tell him NO unless he uses a condom.

You can also go to the local welfare department {social services} and ask to speak to someone who can point you towards services in your area that might be able to help you or at least give you some pointers so you are prepared to deal with this situation in the future---once you have the baby his wandering might get worse!

You need to line up all the help you can NOW before the baby is born, maybe you could even talk to the OB you go to. {many of them have information & resources available}

Good luck to you and the baby!

Answer 6

You have absolutely NO family? No mom..no dad no siblings? No nothing? Or do they just live far away from you and that makes you think they can't help you? If you have ANY family...I don't care how far away they are..you should go and stay with them. You need to get out of that relationship. It's stressing you out which is harmful to your child. If you left and got a divorce you could force your husband to pay child support. You shouldn't have to deal with this during your pregnancy. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life and your jerk off husband cheats on you. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this.

Answer 7

I would look into some sort of part time job, maybe see a career counselor, just to get some $ in your pocket. Then see a lawyer, if this is how your husband is going to be now, better that you be a single mother than with a man who doesnt even know the meaning of being a good husband and father.

Answer 8

Do you love him? Or are you staying with him because there's no other choice?

If you love him, then you've to accept it.

If you don't love him anymore, be smart. After you give birth, have some sort of birth control and pretend to be deaf, blind and dumb. Open a secret bank account and start saving from loose change from when he gives you money to buy groceries, baby stuff, clothes, and other errands.

In the meantime, hire a private investigator and get some "money shots" of him cheating. This will help when you file for divorce as it will help with regards to custody of your child.

Answer 9

Men are dogs, and sometimes they exhibit this behavior when their wives are pregnant.
Men are going to be men, don't take it personally or let it affect your emotions. Concentrate on the great, positive, miracle that you are creating. Women are 1,000 times stronger than men---who creates them, after all? Take charge of your life and accept reality.
It will save time, emotion, and a lot of misery if you start detaching legally and financially.

I wouldn't let it happen to me, personally, because I was raised in an Alcoholic home---even though it was a good and loving one, it forced our family life, finances, emotions, future, to be at the mercy of liquor, and a parent's binges. I vowed never to be in that position as an adult.

Answer 10

what happend to your parents? I would say get the best job you can save for an apartment and get out of there as fast as your legs will carry you. I been through it hunny and it only goes down hill. as far as the relationship goes adn your child will feel your anxity. plus your child does not need to learn it's ok to cheat in a relationship because they do it once they will eventualy do it again.