Here is my poem
Let me love you,
if only for a moment.
Let you see me for something other than a friend
if only for a moment.
Let my hand hold yours
If only for a moment.
Let my soft pink lips touch yours
If only for a moment.
Let all the moments of us not be imaginary
If only for a moment
Lets pretend you weren’t a jerk and you really did love me
If only for a moment
Let what you said not be a lie
If only for a moment
Let my heart start crying with your sweet poison
If only for a moment
Let the rain stop pouring and the lightening stop thrashing and ruining the star lit sky
If only for a moment
But then we feel sorry for all the rest of the moments in the world that aren’t filled with passion. So let us love for life and not for just a moment. Let everyone wonder in silence as each moment is transformed into something long waited for.
2007-03-02 13:40:00 · 9 answers · asked by Erin 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
For a beginner it is nice, and you have a little style with your choice of images.
You should read the poetry of Sara Teasdale, May Swenson, Dorothy Parker and Stevie Smith for seeing how many modern women handled poetry, and how the sentiments you express were handled by these poets. (Stevie is a woman, too).
Good luck with your work.
2007-03-02 14:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Longshiren 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you enjoy writing poetry, then that should be enough for you!!! You don't need to have the validation of others to make something right -- if you feel good and fulfilled inside as you write, then go for it!!!
Your poem is cute, though a bit repetitive -- although this is considered a literary device that really drives your point home. Keep writing and you'll find that you only improve!!! Have fun!! =D
Good luck and happy writing -- hope this helps you!!!
2007-03-02 13:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by piecrumz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love the whole poem except for this line
Lets pretend you weren’t a jerk and you really did love me
I think the word jerk takes away from the beauty and simplicity of the peom. Other then that I think it was a very good poem, don't give up your dream!
2007-03-02 13:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Barbie! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it's something you like doing, you shouldn't let go.
if you'd like to gain more confidence, you should hone your skills, get exposed to more pieces, perhaps take classes, enter apprenticeships, attend poetry readings and slams. i'm going to guess this isn't your first poem. i don't think this should be your last.
2007-03-02 14:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by ficklefeather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could be a song writer, that repetitive style goes well in songs.
2007-03-02 15:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i like it but if compare it to most poems the lines are too short
2007-03-02 16:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by Drew O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's very good poem!
2007-03-02 13:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by Whitney S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kind of repetitive
2007-03-02 13:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds good
2007-03-02 13:47:32 · answer #9 · answered by Michael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋