No woman with feminist leanings will ever be happy with the break down of tasks in a household?

Question

They will ALWAYS be preoccupied with fairness and feel they are being taken advantage of. They never realize that a marriage is letting your guard down and mutually trusting the other person.
How true is this statement?

Radames, that is extremely funny. I'm waiting too.

Stormsinger, you sound exceptional. Most women with feminist intentions keep score in an unfair way.

Robinson, you make a great point. The tendencies I speak of in this question are things that EVERYONE knows, but some women deny, whether or not there are studies or statistics to prove it.

Wendy G, feminism isn't about pursuing equal treatment anymore, and hasn't been for a long time. Most men don't want to oppress women, but a few men want to oppress us all. Changing gears..., your experience of not nagging him and then him changing his ways anyway is an example of how to love a man who is worthy of your love. You both sound like great catches.

Answer 1

Very true.

....Now just waiting for Baba Yaga to post some twisted feminist response.

Answer 2

This statement has no validity whatsoever. Just because a male or female is a feminist this doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they have issues with trust. What you are stating is impossible since this would mean that every single woman throughout the entire world doesn't agree with how the household chores are shared. I don't know of anyone who has issues with this other than the odd one that involves teenage children. I would imagine people who have no idea what feminism is have issues surrounding tasks in the home as well. This whole question really makes no sense but for a way in which you can bait those who believe in equality to argue with you. It is plain to see that you and you others of you ilk delight in trying to provoke the women that answer the questions with undaunting intelligence and insight. I would say that this just shows once again the fear that you feel towards females who you perceive as being more powerful then you. You really are suffering from a terrible inferiority complex and those who are comfortable within their own gender role do not have to constantly try (like Happy Bullet, Robinson, Radames, etc.) to undermine those who believe that women are entitled to equal rights with men.

Answer 3

Not at all true. I am a feminist in a live-in, long-term relationship, and we both just do what needs to be done. We don't even have an "official" chore list or break down. If I notice that the dishes need to be done, I do it. If I'm nursing the baby, he makes dinner and tidies up the living room. If he notices that the car is out of gas, he fills it before I take it in the morning, so I won't have to worry about being late to work.

I do all of the laundry and he takes care of all of the trash - not because he's male and I'm female, and not because we've officially decided it'll be that way. It's because dirty laundry drives ME crazy, and HE can't stand a full trash can.

Answer 4

That statement is about as true as me stating that I have a 12" swinging ****(I'm a woman, and my husband ain't that well endowed[thank GOD!!!]). Sorry, had to throw out a little humor there:P I think that if a woman that has supposedly feminst leanings were to act that way, she really doesn't have a right to call herself a feminist. Feminism is supposed to be about equality. Well "feminist", if your husband is busting his *** at work and you are a housewife or work part-time, you better believe you will be doing more housework then him. Add kids to the mix, and it gets a little fuzzy. Trust me, though, if you really are aware of the fact that a marriage is a partnership and letting your guard down and mutually trusting the other person, the breakdown of household tasks will never be an issue.

Answer 5

Nope, not true. My husband and I have been together for awhile, and when we first moved in together, we decided that he would cook (which worked out, because he got off work earlier than I did, usually) and that I would clean. At first, I would get a little upset when he would leave clothes all over the place, or leave the ironing board out, but, eventually, I mellowed about it AND he stopped doing those things...almost simultaneously. It was weird. The point is, we BOTH compromised, and let down our guard, and became more respectful of one another. Now, when he occasionally leaves his clothes around (very rare, really) I don't say anything. I don't even care. Just knowing that he appreciates my efforts and respects me is all that's important, and all I ever wanted in the first place.

Answer 6

My boyfriend and I do whatever needs to be done in our house and we both thank each other for doing chores or big projects, because we appreciate the effort it took to do the work. I actually think he does too much and I want to do more of the household work, but since I'm going to school and working full-time, he wants to support me by doing more of the household chores. Love is not about keeping score...

Answer 7

"Deirdre O" got it bang-on when she observed that these perenially unhappy people most probably suffer from a "terrible inferiority complex." There is evidence to suggest that this may indeed be the case! The 'problem' may not even exist at all; merely the result of distorted thinking patterns on the part of the crank:

“Low self-esteem distorts perceptions of partners"

“People low in self-esteem store their partner's positive and negative traits in functionally different memory categories, whereas people with high self-esteem more often integrate positive and negative information into one cohesive picture, creating a more positive overall image of their partner, according to an article in the April issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 90, No. 4).

In the study, the researchers had 70 undergraduates complete a self-esteem questionnaire. They then watched a computer screen flash positive or negative personality traits in either an alternating or nonalternating order. The participants pressed one of two keys as quickly as possible to indicate whether the trait words applied to their roommate. They then repeated the task to indicate whether the words applied to their computer.

When researchers asked the participants to make alternating positive and negative judgments about people, those low in self-esteem slowed down making their judgments, suggesting that they store their positive and negative judgments in separate areas of their memory. However, there was no change in speed when they rated their computer's qualities. The alternating traits had no effect on the judgment speed of participants high in self-esteem, suggesting that those participants almost always functionally integrate both positive and negative information in a single area in their memory, regardless of whether they are judging people or inanimate objects.

In another trial, the researchers asked 537 undergraduates to complete questionnaires assessing their self-esteem, how threatened they are by their partners' flaws and how much they integrate positive and negative thoughts about their partners. Participants with low self-esteem were less likely to integrate information about their partner than those with high self-esteem. Moreover, participants with low self-esteem felt more threatened by their partner's foibles.

According to the researchers, the results suggest that people low in self-esteem are more likely to report seeing their relationships as primarily good or bad at a given point in time, as well as more likely to report experiencing changes in perceptions of their partners over time than people high in self-esteem.

The findings may have important clinical implications in that clinicians could simultaneously work with clients on boosting their self-esteem and balancing their perceptions of their partners, says lead researcher Steven Graham, PhD, a psychology professor at Carnegie Mellon University.”

EDIT: ROBINSON; REMEMBER THIS?

Source #1: Who on earth is Rod Van Mechelen? I searched and cannot find any credentials for him. His website is a dot.com, for goodness sake! No credentials, no authority.

Source #2: The title of a book. Yes…have you ever read this book? I will assume no. Are you able to cite any arguments posited in the book? Critical evaluation of the book – anything at all??? I ask for supporting documentation and you supply me with the title of an old book you've never even seen, much less actually READ. It looks to me that credible, supporting documentation is rather hard to come by.

Source #3: Direct quote: “Without wanting to impugn the sincerity of the authors' belief that they have pinpointed a problem (others have done so too, both better and worse), the issue in a short review such as this is how seriously to take this study. The problem with conspiracy theories, or of ideology more broadly, is that you either buy into their premisses or if not these, others. As the authors recognize, however, 'nothing is self evident when it comes to interpreting the artifacts of popular culture.' If this is so, why should their interpretation carry especial weight, except as some possibly (exaggerated?) airing of what they call the 'dark underside' of feminism?

Sounds pretty dodgy to me. As noted by the reviewer, this is hardly evidence of anything – other than a possible conspiracy theory!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amd9JXn1eevHgDQjMCJotUHsy6IX?qid=20070302160931AA0eHdH&show=7#profile-info-6fe070b9f470d901c00fa7e2f19239b3aa

YOU GOT SO FLUSTERED AT BEING CAUGHT YOU EVEN REMOVED YOUR POST FROM HERE:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsLEiNlQYwzXfgPUkkUNNEAYxgt.?qid=20070302160931AA0eHdH