How do homosexuals get dates?

Question

This is going to sound stupid, but it's something I've been wondering for a while. How does a homosexual know the orientation of someone to whom he or she is attracted if it is not blatantly obvious? Is it just like a hit-or-miss thing where you ask the person out and see what they say or do you just try to get to know the person first to find out? If you're not in a setting where it's already been explicitly stated, how can you tell?

I said it was going to sound stupid, didn't I? :)


Thank you to all the serious answerers so far.

Answer 1

I usually just go to the supermarket to get dates. I don't like buying the generic brand though because they often still have the pits in them and you can break a tooth eating the cake. Sunsweet is probably the best brand to get.

Answer 2

It’s human nature and nothing to do with sexuality. Go to the grocery store, look at some guy and you’ll see him eyeing up the nice looking girls. It’s the same for gays, only they look at the cute guys as they walk past. All the signs are there and you quickly learn to pick them up. Humans can’t help having a good look at what they find attractive; no matter what their sexuality is.

A lot of the mistakes come from straight people. Most straight people have a stereotype image of what a gay man and lesbian look like. The problem is that lots of gay guys aren’t effeminate and lots of lesbians don’t look butch with short hair. So these homosexuals often get chatted up by straight people. If a straight guy tells you that gays hit on him all the time, it normally means he’s giving out the wrong signals (read into that what you like).

Answer 3

God! How small is the town you live in???? WAKE up! Gay men and women no longer have to wear green on Thursdays, have a secret handshake, or wear earrings in their right ears to clue others into their sexual orientation. That stuff is SO archaic, So 1981!

If a gay person is out, proud, open and honest with others from the get-go, then he'll know who to ask out based on the other person's response. When I first meet someone, I'm more than comfortable about talking about myself.... I might drop a few lines in about my ex-boyfriend or about the fact that I am an avid reader of "The Advocate", the National GAy and Lesbian News Magazine.... something to that effect. Or maybe I'll just say, "I'm gay. I'm interested in having coffee. If you're not gay, that's ok... maybe we can just be friends?"

Closets are for clothes.... and fear.

Answer 4

How do we get dates?

It's just like with straight people, sweetie. The girl I'm seeing now, I met her at a local pub/bar I go to. I was alone, she came in and sat down a few seats away. No one else was there, so we started talking. We got on well. I had a feeling she was lesbian, and I guess she knew I was too. After a little she asked if I wanted to go back to her place (green light!), and on the walk to the parking lot we were all over each other, and we made out for a while in her car.
Then we went back to her place and had coffee... after we had sex. >:) That was over a week ago, and we're still hot for each other.
Isn't that pretty much how it happens for straight people too?
Aside from it being boy-girl, not girl-girl or boy-boy.

Answer 5

All You Do Is Ask And See If You Have The Confedence To Do It. Like My Dad Says A Close Mouth Doesnt Get Feed.

Answer 6

Actually, it's always hard for me to tell. But, then, I'm always second guessing, even when girls flirt with me. A girl told me not long ago that all through highschool, she had tried her best to turn my head, but to no avail. This shocked me because I had the biggest crush on her, but thought for sure that she was just being friendly. Looking back, many girls brushed up against me, put their hands on my knee, smiled shyly on the hall, etc. I guess my problem is that I assume all the pretty girls are straight, and if they aren't, they're not into me. Plus, the fact that I'm not out plays a big role. I'm always afraid of being put on blast, so I'm a lot less daring.

Answer 7

There are certainly clues you can look for. For example, if a lesbian meets a woman at work with short hair, who doesn't wear make-up, never wears dresses, and wears Birkenstocks all winter, she's going to suspect that the woman is also a lesbian. Or you can go where you're likely to meet a lot of gays, e.g. a gay bar, a women's rugby club, a gay neighborhood (yes, they exist!), a bath house, etc. You can also meet people through friends who you already know are gay.

Answer 8

Nobody really has an accurate "Gay dar". That is, periodically,
homosexuals think they are coming on to other homosexuals,
but turn out to be wrong.

And its just embarassing as when a straight person comes on to
a homosexual person - flattering, but ... just wierd.

However, when people approach each other, they don't
do it all at once. They get to know each other, and during
that process, they figure out whether this is going to work
or not.

The exception, of course, is when people go to places like
clubs and hook up for one night stands, etc. I think this is
one very important reason why there are hetero and homo
sexual bars - because there isn't enough time to really
understand the full orientation of your companions.

Answer 9

You can't always tell, but many gay and straight people, including myself, will tell you they have "gaydar". You just know. People will give you subtle hints that they are either attracted to you or your sex as well. You just have to be observant. You have to take risks just like heterosexuals do. Sometimes you might like a guy, and you'll ask him out, only to find out he's not interested, is already attached, or isn't attracted to women at all! Dating is a crapshoot no matter who you are.

Answer 10

Its called GAYDAR baby! I am the first to admit that this isn't always 100% right! There were times when I would be sure that a girl swung the other way and boy was I wrong. I have a very driven lesbian friend who doesn't stop there, she prides herself on "converting" girls...although I am sure they had some tendencies to begin with...