Is that true that things we don't like in other people are our own defects?

Question

In other words if there is something about other person that annoys you and makes you angry, it means that you actually have it in your character and that's why you are able to see it in others? Do you agree?

AD, you would be surprised!........

DS, you would be surprised!........

Answer 1

This is true! Jung called this our "shadow" self, and represents the things about ourselves that we dislike but often refuse to bring into our consciousness. Another interesting way to look at this is through the "Johari" window, which looks like this


1.The public area contains things that are openly known and talked about - and which may be seen as strengths or weaknesses. This is the self that we choose to share with others
2.The hidden area contains things that others observe that we don't know about. Again, they could be positive or negative behaviours, and will affect the way that others act towards us.
3.The unknown area contains things that nobody knows about us - including ourselves. This may be because we've never exposed those areas of our personality, or because they're buried deep in the subconscious.
4.The private area contains aspects of our self that we know about and keep hidden from others.

Answer 2

You are so correct and yes I agree with you. So does my psychology professor. In fact, I just went over this very thing my last visit to my therapist. We get very annoyed when we see the shortcomings of ourselves manifested in others. It's called "the looking glass self". When I see character flaws in others that I myself have and which irritate the hell out of me, I get very annoyed with that person. This and this alone is probably the single most substantive reason why so much hostility exists in the relationships between people. It certainly accounts for almost all of the misunderstandings that happen between people. Interesting question and a good one. Hopefully your question will start a ripple effect in the minds of those visiting this forum in a really genuine and positive way. Thank-you.

Answer 3

No, not at all. Maybe some little qualities, but not major ones. One of the things I dislike the most in people is phoniness and I know I don't have a phony bone in my body. I am a very real person and I expect that in friends that I have. If a person that I'm hanging out with is constantly trying to feed me bull**** stories or lying to me all the time I won't want to hang out with them and that is not the way I operate. I am very honest with people and don't try to hide things from them. I also dislike a very materialistic person and that's also something that's very far from my character. It's nothing for me to go for months without buying clothes, shoes, ect. or getting my hair trimmed. So as for me I disagree with your observation,but that doesn't mean it would be for everyone else. If you think about other things, people usually dislike someone that has something they want. That could definitely go for personality traits.

Answer 4

I think that's kind of true, but only in part. Sometimes you don't like something about a person because you've been like that and now you aren't.
Sometimes, when something about a person annoys you, maybe that is because that person has a personality similar to yours, but there's something you don't like about that person and you feel bad for thinking that you are so similar.
Sometimes you are e very good friend of somebody, and you think about many things about that friend that are the same on you. But then, you spend too much time with that friend, and you start finding things that you don't like, so that makes you mad.

Answer 5

I disagree. A lot of times what we see in others strengthens our existing convictions that we don't ever want to be like that. We have all encountered people who are habitual liars, lazy, procrastinators, and the list goes on. These are all things that could make others angry or annoyed at the very least. When my wife and I go shopping she has to look at everything and it annoys me because when I go shopping I'm on a mission and don't like to deviate. I definitely don't have that character in me.

Answer 6

I completely disagree. I certainly do not have the serious faults that I observe in other people. If that were the case, I would make an effort to correct them in myself.

For example, I cannot abide two faced manipulative people but I will admit to sometimes being so forthright that I cause offence.

I love my food but find obesity disgusting so I continually fight to stay just a little over weight.

Answer 7

no you probable can ever understand what someone needs. the nearest we may be able to come is understanding what someone says s/he needs (which will or gained't be what s/he extremely needs). easily God helps undesirable stuff to ensue, yet that is because god gave us loose will. God would have made us do each little thing on order yet what often is the point. As to the undesirable stuff of Nature ( earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.) they're neither solid nor undesirable. A planet has to bypass via floor and climate transformations. Galaxies, stars, planets stepped ahead via replace, so replace can't merely quit. this is the replace that makes climate and international transformations. no matter if you spot them as solid or undesirable is merely your judgment. people get damage from them because they stay in intense possibility places ( the Pacific rim of hearth, lower than volcanoes, next to the Nile which floods in line with annum, alongside the united statesGulf Coast which all of us understand has hurricanes in line with annum). this isn't any longer nature it truly is undesirable, this is us who opt for to stay in places the position all of us understand stuff risky to us will ensue.

Answer 8

Often that is true. I am also empathetic when I see someone act the way I used to act because I remember how I was and that I grew more mature. I think if someone exhibits a trait that you aren't familiar with then it is more puzzling than annoying.

Answer 9

No, I can't agree with that. Some people are just plain annoying. Anger is different. I believe that only YOU can make yourself angry. No matter what another does only you have control over your own emotions.

Answer 10

Life is a 'mirror'. It reflects that which is present in the individual. It is a fundamental principle of the universe that we can only see something which is present in ourselves. So, for me to see and get angry at a characteristic in you, I must have that characteristic in me.

Best wishes.