Could someone help me proof read and edit this paragraph?

Question

Three things can potential job canadiates so to themselves from being hired is lack of knowledge,appearence, and behaviour.First of all, lack of knowlege can hinder someone becomming employ. For example, my friend Marie apply for a job at walmart in Vaughn and when asked about her interest in the company she couldn;t answer.She were not aware of other departments such as photo studio, optical and automotive.Second is appearance.To illustrate this my friend wore a tight short skirt with open toe sandles without stockings in the middle of winter to her interview.Confident is a quality she negatively has when discusing her wages.she wanted $12 per hr and 1 increase annually.Finally the most important one is behaviour.Marie body language tells that she is easily distracted.When she hear the intercome or a door bang she jumps.shake and look at the door.She became nervous and star talking to much saying things like baby clothes should be no more than $20 and baby diaper should cost $5.

Answer 1

Three things can be fatal to potential job candidates, so to save themselves from not being hired they should know about these three things that can harm their chance at the job: lack of knowledge, appearance, and behavior. First of all, lack of knowledge can hinder someone becoming employed. For example, my friend Marie applied for a job at Wal-Mart in Vaughn and when asked about her interest in the company she couldn’t answer. She was not aware of other departments such as photo studio, optical and automotive. Second is appearance. To illustrate this my friend wore a tight short skirt with open toe sandals without stockings in the middle of winter to her interview. Confidence is a quality she negatively has when discussing her wages. She wanted $12 per hour and one increase annually. Finally the most important one is behavior. Marie’s body language tells that she is easily distracted. When she hear the intercom or a door bang she jumps, shakes and look at the door. She became nervous and started talking too much, saying things like baby clothes should be no more than twenty dollars, and baby diaper should cost five dollars.
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There you go! I tweaked a bit, so read it over and see if you like it!

Answer 2

Um, no. This looks like an application question you need to work through yourself.

Answer 3

Why?