can you please proof read my essay?

Question

Bag Lady

I am a reporter of local newspaper and today I am spending my time observing as I live alongside a homeless woman. I had seen the anger and the sadness in her eyes. In the eyes of strangers who passed her on the street were uncomfortable.
When strangers passed us, they mostly were looking at me—not her. My appearance seemed a lot better by the way I looked and the way I was dressed. This didn’t make me feel any better. In my perspectives, many people have judged the bag lady without knowing her.
Water was dripping down her clothes cutting off the violence on the streets. It seemed like those people took advantage of each other.
I felt bad enough for the lady on the street. I wanted to do something special for her, like taking her out to dinner or something.

Answer 1

I am a reporter of local newspaper. Today, I am spending my time observing a homeless woman, of whom I live alongside. I had noticed the anger and the sadness in her eyes. Looks from the eyes of strangers who passed her on the street were uncomfortable.
When strangers passed us, most looked at me and ignored her. The way I looked and was dressed made my appearance seem a lot better than hers. This didn’t make me feel any better. In my perspective, many people have judged the bag lady without getting to know her.
Water was dripping down her clothes, cutting off the violence on the streets. It seemed like those people took advantage of each other.
I felt bad enough for the lady on the street. I wanted to do something special for her, like taking her out to dinner or something.

Answer 2

I am a reporter of local newspaper and today I am spending my time observing as I live alongside a homeless woman. I had seen the anger and the sadness in her eyes. In the eyes of strangers who passed her on the street were uncomfortable.
When strangers passed us, they mostly were looking at me—not her. My appearance seemed a lot better by the way I looked and the way I was dressed. This didn’t make me feel any better. In my perspectives, many people have judged the bag lady without knowing her.
Water was dripping down her clothes, cutting off the violence on the streets. It seemed like those people took advantage of each other.
I felt bad enough for the lady on the street. I wanted to do something special for her, like taking her out to dinner or something.

Answer 3

I've put my changes in below in ALL CAPS:

Can you please proof read my essay?
Bag Lady

I am a reporter of A local newspaper and today I am spending my time observing PEOPLE'S REACTIONS as I live alongside a homeless woman. I had seen the anger and the sadness in her eyes AS strangers who pass her on the street RUSH PAST WITH NOTICEABLE UNEASE.
When strangers passed us, they mostly were looking at me—IGNORING HER EXISTANCE. (KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE BAG LADY, NOT YOU) In my PERSPECTIVE, people judge the bag lady without knowing ANYTHING ABOUT her.
Water was dripping down her clothes IN A WAY SHIELDING HER FROM the violence on the streets IF ONLY FOR THE MOMENT. THE HOMELESS NOT ONLY ARE VIEWED AS LESS THAN HUMAN BY SOCIETY, BUT THEY ALSO TREAT EACH OTHER WITHOUT RESPECT. (ACTUALLY, I'D TAKE OUT THAT LAST LINE ALLTOGETHER SINCE YOU DON'T TALK ANY FURTHER ON HOW THE HOMELESS TREAT EACH OTHER. IT DOESN'T FIT)
I FEEL SORRY for the lady on the street. I wanted to do something special for her - like TAKE her out to dinner. HOWEVER, I KNOW THAT WILL ONLY TAKE CARE OF HER FOR ONE DAY.

Answer 4

You were doing okay on the first 2 paragraphs. You lost me on the 3rd - "Water was dripping down her clothes cutting off the violence on the streets." Nice, deep words - but what does it mean in the context of your essay?

Good ending.

This is still high school work, right? I would have been more critical (for your own good) if you were in the college level.

Answer 5

I usually evidence-examine my personal works. once you're in Lebanon (became contained in the call), you may favor to attempt a professional evidence-examining service like those presented at Doculand. also, the american Language Institute in Beirut and the american college of Beirut furnish assorted modifying facilities. wish that permits.

Answer 6

I think it is very good but if you did it on the computer at least do a punctuation check. Commas may be needed but not many.

Answer 7

It is very good!! There are no spelling errors, but comma's need to be put in. Great work! =]

Answer 8

Are you a professional writer?

Answer 9

i think it should be perspective not perspectiveS
also i think you should have a better conclusion...thats just me though

Answer 10

It is good! no problem!Awsome .