the guy that i am with now is honesly the type of man that i put together in my head. when i imagine a man or build my dream guy i see him. i feel so fortunate to have this type of love but his sexual past bothers me. tell me your honest opinions please. i myself dont have alot of experience but am trying new things now that i am with him. this is special to me, but i think it is the same ol thing to him. i get upset sometimes and jealous because he seems to enjoy sex and often speaks of his sexual past as if he is reliving these events as we talk about sex. somehow sexual conversations we have turn into him making the conversation a subject in refernece to his sexual past all together. it makes me feel unhappy and unappreciated and i also feel that nothing we do is special. nothing i do is special although it is to me. i think that if he was completely into our sexlife, he wouldnt turn discussions about us into his general sexual experience. am i correct in feeling this way?
2007-03-02 09:26:27 · 12 answers · asked by chohnsyro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wouldn't say you are correct, but I wouldn't say you are incorrect either. I think its perfectly natural for you to have these feelings...they are legitimate concerns. I also think, however, that it is important that you talk to him about these concerns. It could be just that he feels comfortable and secure enough with you that he feels free to tell you about his past. But if his anecdotes about his colorful past make you feel unappreciated and unhappy, tell him about it.
2007-03-02 09:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by griffon1426 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to feel that way at all. It is because he is proud of it. It's an achievment for him and he likes to remember those experiences. I did the exact thing and it was because I was proud that there were so many and they were so wild and crazy. I just kind of liked hearing the stories myself. I wasn't done having "fun". He may not be ready for soemething serious because when you find someone you truly love and want to be with, you forget about all those other things. I mean it's one thing to share stories and some information while getting to know each other but if he knows it upsets you and still does it then he may just not be ready and that's not a good thing. You can't change unwilling people and if he isn't ready to give up his past then sometimes it's better to just move on. Good luck.
2007-03-02 17:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by Vanessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How you feel is how you feel which makes it real and valid. You don't mention ages, but I'd say that he would consider being with you as special as he has considered it to be with anyone else. What you need to do is talk to him in a non-confrontational way about how his bringing up his past makes you feel unappreciated. If he cares he will do his best to deter speaking of it so much. If he won't stop or says you are being to sensitive it's time for counseling or a new man.
2007-03-02 17:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by ang_phx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just more creative sexually and have had multiple partners...others are more conservative and less experimental. This is shaped by our personalities. I expect all his talk about his sexual past is to try and get you to open up more. To drop your inhibitions some and get freaky with him. I highly recommend it because it expands your horizons and what sex can be. However, you should also tell him that there needs to be compromise. You can be a freak sometimes but he has to not be pushy about it and become totally obsessed with sex either. It's about give and take. If you don't he will look elsewhere to get his rocks off....he needs the creative rush.
2007-03-02 17:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by hardbodied_romantic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember the rule of 3 ... however many sexual experiences he has said he has had... divide by 3 and you will get the actual number. i don't think its appropriate for your guy to keep throwing his experiences in your face. you might want to reconsider if he is the real guy for you and see if you are only in love with the idea of being in love with him. consider what his motives are behind telling you all this. i'd kick him to the curb -- it's just not appropriate for him to do that. sure -- you should share info like that but not at the expense of making someone else feel bad.
2007-03-02 17:32:14 · answer #5 · answered by curious_One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your feelings are better than mine. It wouldn't be touching me always bragging about his filthy past. Check him now or suffer later! You know he isn't right for talking to you about that all of the time. Put your foot down! don't let him have none for a while and things should change1
2007-03-02 17:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, the fact that he keeps mentioning his past is messed up... he sounds like a player. as hard as it is, either find a new guy or if you love this one then have a talk with him about you dont wanna be pressured in to doing anything and ask him to stop bringing up his sexual past cuz its not impressing you.
2007-03-02 17:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are SO WRONG.... Unless he cheats, or cheating is in his past, you should NEVER hold anything a person has done (anything NOT illegal) against them. Its wrong for you to judge someone... You dont get that right. If you feel that insecure and have that low of self esteem, get help before you hurt this great guy...But realize that you WILL LOSE HIM if you keep on with the grudges. If he is a great guy otherwise... You would be a fool to let him go.
2007-03-02 17:29:50 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
He's a dummy. You never ever; talk about your sexual history,no matter what she says. I promise it will come back to haunt you.
2007-03-02 17:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by sity.cent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's the pitfall of good-looking guys. They won't appreciate sex as much as an ugly guy.
2007-03-02 17:31:33 · answer #10 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋