Okay so maybe some constructive criticism..Thanks!-----------------
1] Sometimes I like to slit my wrists just to see how much I'll bleed..The pain is such a sudden rush to me...----------------------------------------------------------
2] The razor lying there..the solution to all problems..so tempting..I pick it up and press the sharp blade to my soft wrist..I swiftly slide tblade across and watch the skin as it gapes open and begins to bleed..The crimson blood pouring down my pale white flesh is such a beautiful sight to my eyes..I become light headed and start to drift away..drowning in my blood is where i'm happy.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3] So watch the blood pour from this open wound..The pain I inflicted upon myself to clear my mind of this misery..escaping is only a dream..It's hard to escape your own mind..for i'm the one to blame for everyones misery..so lay me to rest and go on with your lives..
2007-03-02 09:14:05 · 10 answers · asked by Kozzzy 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
xDDDDDD I hope you are kidding.
I'm sorry if you aren't but....wow.
2007-03-02 09:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by taixsantixlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to cheer up. Stop listening to Goth music and get yourself a puppy or something. Life isn't really that bad.
However, if you want criticism -
It's not really a poem. It's more of a prose piece. It almost seems like the outline of a short story with one character and not much plot.
What is the misery? Why so unhappy? What happened to the character so that they'd want to kill themselves? What happens after the suicide?
FP
2007-03-02 09:19:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Cutting yourslef is the dumbest thing in the world, can get a little more pathetic?
2. Not quite poetry, it's more like prose.
3. Think about your funky scars in the future and how stupid you'll feel. Talk to a therapist and quit being a false-depressed, woe-is-me, emo cry-baby.
2007-03-02 09:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Kiria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to commit suicide.Don't do it !!! I dunno why all these people are killing themselves these days. Think about how your family woulf feel. Your friends. People that you see everyday at work or even the cashier at the grocery store. Life isn't as painful as you think. Get a nice puppy or find your true lover. Have some beautiful kids and find out how beautiful life could be. At least try to feel better. Don't hurt yourself even more.
2007-03-02 10:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by A Girl With a Dream 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep up the good work, you have a real future in poetry!
2007-03-02 09:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by schneid123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm... maybe you should see a psychiatrist. this is a little too dark. cutting yourself is not the answer. also, i wouldn't wan to read about you bleeding...
2007-03-02 09:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♫ Never Too Late ♫♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen sweetheart...cutting isnt the answer...you need to see a doctor...
2007-03-02 09:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by Ben i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds more like a suicide note,
2007-03-02 09:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by jvg49er 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I DONT CARE IF ITS A POEM OR NOT , THINK ITS AWESOME.
2007-03-02 09:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by lilly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sucks...the first one is from "stan"
2007-03-02 09:17:25 · answer #10 · answered by devil boy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋