this question is not for me b/c im 18 but still dont know the answer this is for my freind living in viirginia and i live in new york so i cant get it for her but she is dating a 24 year old and she does not want to have sex with him without being on birth control wat should she do?
2007-03-02 08:52:58 · 30 answers · asked by Misz_Envi0uz 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I HAVE TRYED TO TALK HER OUT OF GOING OUT WITH HIM***** But it wont work so i figured if i cant get her to stop then i guess i will help her protect herself so everybody telling me to stop her i like states away from her and i have tryed if i tell her parents she will never tell me anything again and she will probablyy get into more trouble without at least telling me first so please dont criticize me for letting this happen
2007-03-02 08:59:22 · update #1
I HAVE TRYED TO TALK HER OUT OF GOING OUT WITH HIM***** But it wont work so i figured if i cant get her to stop then i guess i will help her protect herself so everybody telling me to stop her i live states away from her and i have tryed if i tell her parents she will never tell me anything again and she will probablyy get into more trouble without at least telling me first so please dont criticize me for letting this happen
2007-03-02 08:59:56 · update #2
wow.. o.k. first off, it would not be your fault if this relationship goes badly. even though i completely agree that she is 14 and should not be dating a 24 year old, i am sure you know that and dont need to be reminded of it. i know that as a friend its hard to tell anyone anything about the person whom they are dating particularly if they are "blinded by love". so its not your fault and it sounds like your doing the best you can in your position!
there are certain places like planned parenthood and other clinics that can help teens get birth control without parental consent. of course she would get the abstinence schpeel but if there is no stopping her, the clinic may also give out free condoms as well.
p.s. im sorry you had to take so much crap on here for the fact she is 14 and you are interesting in getting her birth control. you're being a good friend and trying to help. its a tough position to be in. good luck.
2007-03-06 16:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Curious Kim 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is disgusting that a 24 year old would have any interest in having sex with a 14 year old. If you can't convince her to stop and don't want to tell someone then the only thing for you to do is have her call planned parenthood at 1-800-230-PLAN. She can set up an appointment to get birth control. (there are no age restrictions for the state of Virginia) I really think you should think this situation through. If you p*** off your cousin - big deal. She's a child that's why there are laws regarding sex with minors...because they are unable to make a mature decision. If you don't tell someone now you're going to look back and realize how immature it was for you to enable her to continue to be MOLESTED. If you had a daughter wouldn't you want to be told if this was happening to her.
2007-03-02 10:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by abc 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Listen, sometimes you have to take a chance - that she will not tell you anything again - but still tell her parents because it is so, so important. The 24 years old could go to jail for statutory rape (it is called that even when it is consensual with a 14 year old) and you know what? You could even be accused of knowing about it and keeping silent! Because that is what you are doing.
A 24 year old having sex with a 14 year old is a crime everywhere.
She should be on birth control but if she is committed to having sex with him, she will have to stand up to her parents and tell them what she is going to do. That is when they tell her exactly how long he would go to jail for having a sexual relationship with her.
She doesn't believe you, she doesn't listen to you. So are you that esteemed a friend to her? I don't think so. She's discarded your concern already, even when you have been protective of her privacy. Now do yourself and her a favor and get her parents on the phone.
It's the right thing, it's what you have to do knowing the law. And when you are much older, with a family of your own, you'll remember this.
2007-03-07 15:06:12 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my state (I'm also in the South) you have to be 16 to get on birth control at all. Which I think is really stupid, because if you're having sex it should be protected no matter your age. But anyway, this is how it goes in my state, no parental consent in any of it: 16 to get on birth control, 19 and have a kid to get an IUD, 25 or have 4 kids to get your tubes tied. I think it's all pretty stupid.
I know a girl who had her first kid at 16, because she got pregnant when she was 15 and they wouldn't give her the pill, had her 3rd kid by 20, and they wouldn't tie her tubes because she hadn't had enough kids. It's retarded.
I know you didn't ask this, but that guy is too old to be legally having sex with that girl. If they choose to have sex, they need to be very careful not to get pregnant because he could do jail time.
2007-03-02 09:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by grayhare 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's RAPE. She should call the police. And you should be smart enough to tell her so. PS - When she's a mother at 15, and the guy flees the state (if he's not still living with his mom or grandmother?) you're going to be both an ***, and an awful friend. How do YOU think the cycle of poverty starts & continues? Help her. You GROW UP and act like the adult she needs, to help her make her choice. You want to be on TV, then? Call that guy Chris Hansen on Dateline on NBC that tracks pedophiles (which he is). Or, your local TV news.. you can be a star, that way. Then be on Oprah by the Summer! There's 100 reasons, and none NOT to say something. And you should tell any man around her about this, because before he's arrested that 24yr old needs his a*s kicked, and quite severely.
2007-03-02 08:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
#1- Tell your friend to rethink this. She is 14 and anything can happen. If this guy has an STD, it can haunt her for the rest of her life. If she gets pregnant, being a 14 yr old mother will ruin her life. Once you have children, it is so important that you are able to provide for them and give up things for their own benefit.
#2- A 24 yr old guy is with a 14 yr old, thats not right. He may only be with her for one reason. A man with sense and respect would not continue to date this girl.
#3- Tell her to get involved with community type of projects to boost her attitude, like girl scouts!
#4- There is something called Planned Parenthood that helps with giving young women birth control. I know they give condoms for free, but, I am not sure about the pill.
#5- As a friend, its important to tell them the truth. Especially if you know that they may be making a huge mistake.
I will pray for your friend and hope that she makes the right decision.
2007-03-02 09:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by tropikanagirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the girl is under 18 then by law the guy can not sleep with her , if so he can be arrested for child molesting which carries a 5-15 year jail sentence and when he gets out he must register as a sex offender.
No she can not get BC if she is under 18 unless her parents get it for her. You have to buy it at the counter with a doctors prescription.
If this girls parents do not know about her trying to sleep with this grown man I really would suggest you tell them. This guy is a full grown man and trying to molest a child.
2007-03-02 10:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, someone who is 14 can get on birth control without parental consent. She can go to the doctor and the doctor can't tell her parents unless he/she believes that her health is in serious danger. BUT, 14 is too young to be having sex, especially with a 24 year old, because that is ILLEGAL! He could go to jail for a very long time. And he doesn't love her, that is for sure, he just wants sex. 24 year old don't fall in love with people 10 years younger than them. She thinks she loves him because she is young and stupid and brimming with hormones, and he is just taking advantage of this.
But, yes, she can get birth control without her parents knowing.
But if she is your friend and you REALLY care about her, you should tell her parents. What she is doing is dangerous and stupid, and she will come away from this relationship with nothing but bad feelings and regret. She will be mad at you for a while, but she is only 14, and if she is too immature to see that this relationship isn't equal or fair or good, she is obviously too immature to be in the relationship. Her parents need to know. Please tell them.
I am not wholly against sex, but she is too young and if she is going to have sex it should at least be with someone her own age.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/sexlovelife/index.shtml?page=love&sub=older_boy
http://www.bbc.co.uk/slink/sexlovelife/index.shtml?page=body&sub=consent
2007-03-02 09:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lili 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's statitory rape. You should be responsible enough to alert her parents about the situation. If she's dating a 24 year old, he only wants one thing from her. The best thing you can do for her is to tell her parents. The same thing happened with my cousin, and I wish I had told them.
2007-03-07 06:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by Cynical 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's rape and by not telling someone you are letting your friend be raped by some child molester every time it happens and when people like you that know its going on and dint do something about it are giving the thumbs up to every child rapest out there saying "come and get it" look at it this way what if this guy kidnapped and killed your friend you you are technically partly responsible because you are 18 and didn't say anything you owe it to your friend.
2007-03-09 07:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by sara s 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋