Why do so many young people throw away their lives having kids?

Question

So early in life? Now I know that I am gonna hear stuff like I am in love and we will be together forever. Yeah right, wait until one turns 21 and bar scene happens or boyfriend leaves- no job- mom is gonna work two jobs and spend no time with baby? I married my high school sweetheart after getting my Doctorate, and we knew we could afford children ( not just monitarily) - I know of a lot of young women who are single with kids from different men and the problem is that they never attract a good man, just more losers!! Society pays a huge price for lots of stupidity and I for one am getting tired of it! You should have to get a permit to have kids LOL!

Answer 1

I agree with you people are not responsible. I married young, but having children is something my husband and I are going to wait for. Being able to fully support a child is very much a priority to me. I wish more people thought like you do.

Answer 2

Okay, I understand where your coming from, but you can't judge everyone on the stupidity of the woman who at 22 have 5 kids from 5 different men. I'm 22 and have a 6 month old with my boyfriend. Yes I'm young but I have a full time job, insurance (so no one else is paying for my hospital bills) a car and pay for my daycare (and no, not with state child support help). I don't make a whole heck of a lot, but I support myself and my child, He was an accident and yeah, maybe I would've liked to do a few more things before I had a baby, but I wouldn't trade him for anything. I don't think your throwing your life away having a child at 22. Just because you think it's throwing your life away doesn't mean other people do. I agree with you on the people having tons of kids, living off welfare and child support, but the rest of us who have jobs and work hard have earned the right to have children young if we want to.

Answer 3

My children have different fathers, and I am now a single mother. I am not, however, a young mother without education. Life just sometimes doesn't turn out the way you'd expect. Which is unfortunate, but it doesn't make me a drain upon society.

Some girls (and guys) do the best they can, but being human make mistakes. I find it unfortunate that there are a lot of young girls who end up getting pregnant without a good support system.

Society does pay for a lot of humanity's mistakes, but that is just the way it works. That's always happened, and it always will. The best we can do is give young men and women the best education we can and hope that they make good choices.

(Oh, and if you want to tell people that you have a Doctorate you might want to spell monetarily correctly. :) By the way, what type of doctorate do you have?)

Answer 4

Normally I would have felt completely offended by your statements. Seeing that I married at 19 (husband was 23) and now 5 years later I have 3 kids. But I'm actually feeling pretty hopeless now because of the choices I made. I always thought my husband would finish school meanwhile, and we would have enough money and things would workout. Now he says he has no desire to go back and finish school, and that his lifelong goal is being retired and playing all day...what a lazy jerk! We don't even have the money to make ends meet. And my desire to be a nurse has been put on the back burner while I raise the children. I guess I was just naive to think life would turn out great. And I know things are bad when what you said makes sense.

Answer 5

When I had my kids I was 18 and 20 respectively, I married their father before the first was born and we are no longer together. The result, I stayed home until my youngest started first grade, and my kids not only are healthy and well adjusted, they started out ahead of the curve in school, have terrific verbal and math skills, and know the value of a dollar since we never had much money. My kids have never been a drain on society and never will be. We sacraficed alot to provide them with everything they needed and a few of the things they wanted. My guess would be that since you waited until you were finacially ready you'll end up with spoiled brats. I personally prefer my struggles, and my healthy non spoiled kids.

Answer 6

LOL, I do agree with you on somethings! But, unfortunately, when can one actually afford kids? With the way everything gies now, you can't. Some girls think that well if I have his baby he will stay, or if I have his baby I'll always have a way to get back at him. Than you have the boys who are just stupid, dont use condoms, or they don't make sure, not just ask to see if the girl is on birth control. Then there are girls who don't care, just do it and give them up. Then the ones that realey get me.........."I thought that if I had a baby then I would have someone to love me too." I know that everyone makes mistakes. But it can't be a mistake if you already know that you aren't supposed to be doing what ever it is that you are doing! Well theres my imput! LOL

Answer 7

Lazy people throw their lives away. I had a child at 16 and never once thought of just wasting away. I graduated from high school, went to technical college and got a great job. I am now 31 and married to a great guy (not the father) and own a home. Once someone stops trying to make their life better, it's all over. Many people find it easier to just live under par. Good enough is good enough, I guess. Not so for everyone, though.

Answer 8

I was with my boyfriend for 6 years before deciding to have a child. We planned it and we became parents at age 21 which i do not regret. We have been together for almost 12 years (in may) and been married for 1 year. I have only been with my husband in that way. Our son is 5 years old and we are both 27.

I never went to the bars or partied. I have never taken a drink in my life. That was just not for me.
I think that teenagers should not be getting pregnant for that is a crying shame.

Answer 9

You say "you should have to have a permit to have kids" and I don't quite disagree, but I think you should have to have a license- a marriage license! You can't really use age as a factor. I know couples in their teens and twenties who are ready and couples in their thirties that aren't. My husband and I are 19 and 23 and I truly believe we are ready and that it is the next step we need to take. That is why we have been trying. Parents who aren't together have more effect on the child than they could ever know, whether they were in love at birth or not is not the issue. Thats just my opinion. GET MARRIED BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX.

Answer 10

unfortunately teens who get pregnant and those who wind up on welfare are somewhat disillusioned it seems. On welfare, atleast around here you only get $100 per child plus child tax benefit.

From personal experience, a friend of mine has been living on welfare until she could get training and back to work again. Her, her fiance and their now 6 year old live on just over $1000/month for rent, bills and groceries. Their rent is $750/month. I don't understand how they still put food on the table everyday. Now they are off welfare and making about $2500-$3000/month between them, going to the movies and buying things when they want to, but still crying poor.

My sister is the same way, she works fulltime for $2500-$3000/month and he gets $1500 or more from disability partly fraudulently, so $4500/month for 2 people and they are still letting bills go and paying others late, not having money for groceries when they need them. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with people.

Myself, my husband and I are legitimately on a disability pension, but while it is a bit of comfort to know that the money is going to be there every month. We have cut down the money we receive by moving into low income housing, we now receive about $500/month less because we pay that much less for rent. All of our bills are paid in full and on time every month, we make sure that the 3 of us have enough food to eat, our son wears warm clothes but he doesn't need name brands, he always has proper footwear too. We get a little help from our families, but have never asked anyone for money, food or clothes. We live on $1400/month for 3 of us, including a 2 year old healthy quickly growing son. I was 23 and my husband was 22 when we got married, we paid for everything. Our son was born later that year healthy and happy and for the most part he has stayed that way.

Answer 11

You raise a good question: I REALLY encourage you to read "Promises I can keep". It's fantastic, non-judgemental look at the lives of young, poor mothers and why they chose ( is it a choice?) the life they live.

One of the more fastinating sections tells why these women to continue to have children: their response is, in essense, the unconditional love that children offer that they do not receive from any other relationship.

Honestly, it's a wonderful book.

Best Wishes!