I happen to work with a manager, who unfortunately, I used to know personally. That person is just so nasty, that he is not liked by another in the office. However, because he was in the company for a long and the company’s policy, there is no way he can let go unless he does something really bad. He is such a dick, that he doesn’t have any friends (I am very serious), no one talks to him in the office about things that are not related (basically no one socializes with him). The only thing he has in his life is a wife that he always argues with, and a son, that in my opinion, is glue between him and his wife that keeps them together. My question, should I feel sorry for such person and don’t take it into my head or should I do something about it? I mean, he creates atmosphere in the office that is unfriendly and hostile, which leads to low productivity since people get mad with him. Any ideas?
2007-03-02 07:25:37 · 3 answers · asked by NLoveFA 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Realistically, is there anything you can do about it? Is he the type of person who is going to respond to feedback or is interested in altering his behaviour. If you think that is the case, you might rely on your personal connection to try and talk with him. But there would be a risk that he would not take kindly to such a thing. So, you may have to go with the other option, which is to work at not taking his behaviour personally. It is difficult, but really you probably should feel sorry for him. His inflicting misery on others likely stems from his own misery. You may not be able to change his behaviour but you can work on changing your response to him. Having empathy and feeling sorry for his sad existence may be a good approach for not allowing him to put his misery on to you. Try putting some kindness out there, even if you don't really believe he deserves it. At least then you can feel good about yourself. And he might even respond in a positive way. (If you can see it in your heart to be friendly, I would advise letting your colleagues know that you've decided to take this approach, so they won't think you've gone over to the "dark side.") Sadly, these kinds of toxic work environments are not uncommon. Unless you can get out of it by moving to another job, you need to get into survival mode.
2007-03-02 08:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by senlin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't supervise you, then do a "paradox" with him every time he's annoying! A paradox tells the truth of the situation, but at the same time denies that that could be true. E.g. "Every time you say something like that, you sound like a prick--but I KNOW you're NOT!" But if that's going too far, just set your own boundaries--when he talks to you "Hey, don't pull that with me--I've known you for a long time." Or whatever.... You're NOT going to change him and if you don't enjoy being around him--WHO COULD?--then DON'T socialize with him. His marriage is his business! AND why she tolerates him/sticks with him is her business. If he gets intolerable--start looking for a better job--OR take night classes and be a supervisor yourself!
2007-03-02 09:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a breather and visit this page:
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/Employer-Employee-Relationships.html
2007-03-02 08:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋