I still enjoy hanging out with him, am still attracted to him physically aswell as for his intelligence, patience, understanding, passion about work, generosity, humour etc etc....The first 3 months were out of this world. Infatuation was GREAT! I KNEW he was the one for me up until about 2 months where I got this thought "What if I dont love him anymore"? So all together we have been together for 6 months and I have my share of doubts.
But I dont feel "in love" with him.
I was sooooo in love and PASSIONATE with my ex but he abused me both physically and emotionally and all our relationship was based on dis-trust, jealousy, hate and the occasional bout of EXTREME love. I thought I was over him when I got into this relationship but my thoughts prove otherwise. I think about him often and I wish I could just get him out of my mind....Its been over a year since we have been together and I miss some of the special times.
I dont have those same feelings for my current boyfriend. My feelings are kinda neutral, I enjoy him but at the same time feel as though there is something missing in my what is known as "normal, trustworthy and no-jealousy relationship"
Any suggestions as to what I should do?
Have I fallen out of love or am I just commitment phobic...am I still in love with my ex, do I have to break up with him?
2007-03-02 07:24:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First don't go back with your ex, if you broke up once it's probably not gonna work again. Second, if you don't feel anything for the guy your with it's no good leading him on.
2007-03-02 07:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny u have been abuse...i have been there so i know what u are feeling...the abuse u suffered has made u doubt ureself..he has been able to make u feel that if u had somehow acted differently u would have been able to save that relationship...dont u believe it!! the abuse was HIS fault not ures..but it take a lot of time to sort thru all those feelings the abuse has caused...feelings or worthlessness..self doubt...low self esteem..the mistrust of others and the mistrust of our own ability to make the right choices...until u resolve all these issues u wont be able to move on...contact ure local domestic violence hot line and ask where u can get help locally..there is help out there and anyone who has been abused needs it...if u dont do it now...it will haunt u for years and u will never really be able to have a NORMAL loving relationship!... i have done some recent blogs on this subject which u can view and also giving u a link for a video that i put together. i hope these links work for u...email if u like at candlelit_dreamz@yahoo.com
2007-03-02 15:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by candlelit_dreamz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people love the person they are with but there not in love with them and that's what it sounds like, but it also sounds like the ex was alot of drama so don't go back to him, once an abuser always an abuser. You need to figure out what's the best thing for you if you are not in love with the guy you are with now then you must break it off. Try talking to a neutral party or a couselor about the feelings that you have, mentally you are use to the drama and in some way you need that in your life to feel wanted. You need to figure out a way to be wanted mentally so that you don't fall into another abusing relationship.
2007-03-02 15:40:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say youre commitment phobic. You dont seem to know how to be in a normal relationship, so it freaks you out that things are fine. With an abusive realtionship everything is always so intense...intense hate, intense making up and love. It is a rollercoaster so the adrenaline is always high. that is nota normal relationship and in the long run its very draining. You need to learn to enjoy the slow pace of a real relationship that isnt always in such extreme ups and downs. Talk about this with your BF maybe he can help you learn how to get over these feelings and that will make your relationship stronger in the long run.
2007-03-02 15:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex treated you so bad, why on earth would you want to even waste a thought on him. When that happens, you should
switch thoughts or pray to God for guidance and help. About your
current boyfriend, he sounds nice but, you have to give yourself
some healing time and shouldn't of rushed into another relationship so quickly. Love yourself first, Go out, join a gym, get
involved in a community kind of program, enlist in some classes.
Pamper yourself and when you are ready to say that you can
live without a man, then you will be ready to enjoy one.
2007-03-02 15:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by EVEI 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy......and you are not falling in love with your ex.....please don't tell me that you like dysfunctional relationship? It is unhealthy for you.....and you should talk to a professional about this if you feel that you do.
YOU....yes YOU deserve someone who love you and respect you.....someone who does not hurt you in any kind of way.....because you wouldn't do that to someone you love and respect.
About you new relationship....maybe you need a break....it is not fair to you or your boyfriend to lead him on.....
A break to yourself to evaluate what you really want! And it is not you ex!
2007-03-02 15:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lonna L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the love/hate dysfunctional relationship! Look up "co-dependency" online, this sounds like you and your ex.
Some people thrive on chaos, and some people are normal. You decide which one you are.
2007-03-02 15:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you like guys that beat on you and mistreat you, sorry, some people like that
2007-03-02 15:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by ndnyabl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in love with punishing yourself. That is all.
2007-03-02 15:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by Jordan X 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u dont love him so leave him
2007-03-02 15:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by miz basketball all star 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋