I was molested by my step-dad from the age of 5 until I was adopted by my aunt when I was 16.
Does anyone know of any websites that offer counseling of any kind?
I recently took a class for being a Victims Advocate in the military & didn't know that being molested is a form of sexual assault...don't ask me why I thought that but I did.
Does anybody have any recovery stories or any tales at all on how to cope with this? Im 26 now & Im tired of feeling like this. & I don't want anything like this to happen to my 3 yr old son.
Any help is appreciated.
2007-03-02 06:59:10 · 10 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
The first and most important thing to do right now is establish a trusting relationship with your son. If he can know that he can come to you with any problem and any subject and not be shut down. And that you will be honest with him in every thing.... then when you tell him that he can say no to adults when they tell him to do things he knows you have said are not right he will have the confidence that you will stand behind him... it is not necessary to go into a lot of detail but he needs to know that some people will try to do things that are not right... I am not fully in agreement with the standard good touch and bad touch approach but he dose need to know that there are limits that some can not cross... ever... there is a lot to teach... but it starts with trust... and it will be a lot easier to talk about it before than try to put the pieces back together after.... as you know.
edit add... I need to add that you should try very hard not to let your trauma control your dealing with your son... if you let your fear show through it will be picked up by your son... he needs to have strength not fear... I know you are hurting inside and will try to do the Best for your son... but fear can be so controlling that it can cancel the good you are trying to do... and any uncertainty you show your son will be taken in by him and weaken his ability to resist if he is menaced.... as hard as it may be do not let your fear controle your instruction... show confidence and he will build convidence... show trust and he will trust you... by working with your son and striving to instill safe practices in him you will find you too will be strengthened...just by forcing yourself to controle your fear so you can be effective with your son...
2007-03-02 07:10:48 · answer #1 · answered by idahomike2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that if you have a psychologist or therapist of any sort you speak to him/her about it. A friend of mine is approaching this same issue right now. Whether you call it assault or not, it was obviously a very terrible thing to go through. Keep an open mind to different ways of dealing with the situation. I would suggest a trip to the library on post-traumatic stress disorder. It could be possible that something at this point in your life is causing it to resurface in such a way as to cause you significant stress. Remember that you ARE stronger than it. I would also suggest you notify an attorney of the abuse. The statute of limitations has probably expired but if he is still alive you may want to proceed legally against him for duress. Good luck.
2007-03-02 15:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be important to get some serious counselling. Someone very close to me finally decided to deal with that when she was 20 years old. It made a very big difference in her life.
I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but I have seen how people going through the process of identifying the sin done against you, assigning the blame completley on the adult, on whom it belongs, getting in touch with your anger at the injustice of it all, then going through the process of forgiving, by bringing it to the cross. Forgiveness in such a horrible situation is humanly impossible, but essential for complete healing. And that is where the supernatural comes in.
Any way, I hope you will be able ot find some good help.
God bless!
2007-03-02 15:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear about that, I can tell you that most abuse happens within the home and within the family, and it can often repeat itself, people who molest are often people who have been molested. Try writing a diary of notes about it and taking it to a counsellor or psychologist who can help you develop solutions. The net isn't always the best place for advice on things like that. Good luck!
2007-03-02 15:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, by my older brothers and sister. they were a lot older and would put me through hell. i had to sleep with one eye opened as they would really mess with me 24/7..my folks both worked many hours six days a week.
but they never did this on Sunday..that was one day i could rest up from all that abuse..i still can't sleep all that good either and i never get aroused with men or women..victim for life
2007-03-02 15:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i myself was not molested(was physically abused), and i'm sorry you had to go through it. it's good that you want to start feeling better. the healing process takes awhile though. below is a really great website that can help you talk it out and find help and it's done anonymously. it's the rape, abuse and incest national network.
http://www.rainn.org/
2007-03-02 15:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by Kismet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there and be strong.
2007-03-02 15:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really want to relay that to the world.
It's kinda personall.
2007-03-02 15:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No I was not,
i'm sorry for your experiences
2007-03-02 15:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
sorry i don't know..but I'm totally sorry bout what happened!
2007-03-02 15:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by sexii 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋