why do gay women target straight women? is it to try to get them to be gay?

Question

I have always considered myself to be accepting of other people, and have never passed judgement over anyone. I can't understand why do some of these people have such a predatory nature. Even though my x-friend was aware of the fact that I am not only straight, but married this did not stop her from having a relationship with me in her mind. How she felt about me started to come across in a strong way. She was very jealous of all of my friends,and appeared to want an exclusive relationship with me. All of my girlfrends said get rid of her, and I wouldn't listen. Whenever I confronted her about her behavor,she would claim this was not the case.I get mad when I think of the comments I endured by being her friend. People were questioning my sexuality. because she is gay I have thought about being with a woman and the thought makes me sick. There is nothing about the female body that turns me on. SORRY! Because of her I am now arfaid of gay girls,and I will never accept or trust one again

Answer 1

First off, never stop trusting people. Just make them earn it.

The obsession your ex-friend had with you sounds, like plain and simple lust. Though if a guy had made the same overtures it would be considered mildly flattering, it would of been just as creepy.

Irrational attachments, such that your friend had, can turn into stalking and harassment because the person has a built up image of you in their mind. In addition, this is not a gay/straight issue. It is just an issue. Your friends were right to encourage you to ditch this person. While there is nothing at all, wrong being gay or differently sexually oriented. No means no is ALL situations. Clearly, this person did not get it.

And to get back to the title of your question, I do not believe anyone "targets" people in that manner, but just as we watch TV or movies, everyone has personal "tastes" or "attractions". Unfortunately that can cross sexual and comfort lines, some times with aggression, as it did in your case.

Answer 2

Sorry for your struggles Nicole, but it seems that your friend is obsessed with you. This is more of a stalker issue than the whole lesbian population targeting straight women.

In defense of the lesbian people, yes we do get into relationships with straight women at times, or at least straight before we happened in their lives. But some of these relationships have been loving and wonderful and not predatory and stifling in nature. I for one have been involved in a 8 year relationship with a girl who has never been with a woman before me, the idea never even crossed their mind. But when we met, we felt so madly in love that not seeing each other for a week will drive us insane, not to mention skyrocket our long distance bills. And even after all these years, we still love each other and it's beautiful.

And also, there must be more than 90% straight women for every 10% gay ones, and the gaydar is not really a perfect instrument. Why don't we just let love be love? If you give love and it comes back, then thank heavens, there are two less lonely people in the world. But if it doesn't, move along and don't traumatize people... It's an advise for your friend.

And hey, don't be scared of us gay women, we can be pretty good plain-vanilla friends too... If we're not with our partners, you can grab us friday night for some night out and beers... you don't even have to wear your makeup...

Answer 3

That isn't very common, but I think some do it because they strongly believe that the straight woman has a curiosity for a lesbian experience. Your friend sounds obsessed. Sometimes- believe it or not- the straight women will go straight to BED with a woman. It's those women who stoke the fantasy for some lesbians. I am a lesbian and I have a wife, but before that, I had some straight women in my bed who swore they never liked women. Lots of straight guys are like that, too - they never ADMIT that they've had a gay experience. By the way, lesbians are no more controlling or possessive than anyone else. Try not to be afraid of lesbians - just say, "sorry but I am terminally straight."

Answer 4

So, you have never had a straight girlfriend that you did not agree with? I'll bet you have. I'm straight as they come, but, I do stand up for people to have the right to be gay or lesbian. This, in turn, makes many people THINK I might be gay. I was asked out by a lesbian lady, and I just told her that I am totally straight. She understood. Sounds as though you were only being friends with this lady because she was gay. Don't do that. Pick your friends, because you enjoy and like them. Don't have your straight girlfriends running your social calendar, either. it just doesn't pay off. think for yourself. Do not take a person as a personal project and pretend to be a friend. Choose your friends, gay or straight, because you like them. Be an honest person with yourself and with your friends.

Answer 5

Just because she was jealous of other people in your life it didn't mean she was trying to turn you into a Lesbian. I know straight people who are friends and are jealous of other people, etc.

Regardless, she was way too over possessive and that wasn't healthy for either of you. It's best you ditched her, but don't condemn Lesbians based on her neediness and controlling ways.

And you really ought NOT to concern yourself that others think might be gay. Your friends know the truth and your enemies won't believe anything you say anyway.

Answer 6

Gay women could make the same arguement about straight women just in reverse. Trust me, been there, done that. It's been MY experience, as soon as you tell a straight girl that you are a lesbian, the STRAIGHT girl automatically ASSUMES you want her. Well, let me tell ya something, DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. Lesbians know you're straight and most respect that. Yes, there are a few that have the predatory nature, but most respect your heterosexuality just as much as they would want you to respect THEIR homosexuality. It's funny really. Because, like I said, it's been MY experience, that straight girls automatically assume you want them when you tell them you're gay, and then when you tell them you're NOT interested in them, they get kind of offended, like 'Well why not? Why doesn't she like me?" when not even two seconds earlier, the straight girl was all offended over assuming you liked her. I think straight chicks just like the attention either way. That's my opinion. They want to be googled over, just not necessarily by a lesbian. But then again, this is all just my opinion.

Answer 7

I'm sorry she did that, she should not have, and you have a right to be respected and treated well by your friends. If you don't want to be friends with gay women any more, you can certainly choose that, but know that you're judging others based on the actions of one and that's pretty sh*tty. Your life, though.

Answer 8

it is normal
gay men also like straight men
otherwise it would be two female men ,kind of defeats the point
because a lot of gay men take the place of the women ,so they dont want another woman they want a man
and a gay woman is the reverse ,she dont want another man woman ,she wants a woman woman
makes sense
what is the problem ,does it effect you

Answer 9

I am friends who are lesbians, and I am straight, and NEVER, not once in all the years I have known them, has any one of them ever hit on me. I think you just had a bad experience with one person. Don't judge everyone like that just because of that one girl.

Answer 10

That might just be her, not because she's gay. But if she did try something after she knew you were straight she's just wrong