got a call at 1am saying my teenage son's in jail for shoplifting. He's never been arrested before. what should I do?
2007-03-02 06:20:13 · 14 answers · asked by yucare 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have 2 teenage sons... The BEST punishment I could ever give either of them is having THEM make the rules to the punishment. I ask them what they think their punishment should be, make it fit the crime. We talk about it and then I have them write the rules on a piece of paper & we tape it to the fridge!
Believe it or not, it works much better than anything I've tried so far. I think it's knowing that they've let me down but having to stay true to theirselves pushes them to follow through....
2007-03-02 07:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was he doing staying out until 1 am. Oh, never mind I know. Hire a lawyer this one time. However, He needs to suffer the consequences of his actions so that he will not repeat this behavior. It can certainly become a habit if there are no consequences. If he is found not guilty, you should ground him. The people that he was hanging with, probably are guilty. Keep better tabs on him and get counseling.
I totally agree with the post above mine.
If there is a next time, he stays and obtains a court appointed lawyer. I know people who have borrowed money against their homes to pay for the crimes of their wayward children. It didn't work. They lost their house.
P.S. I do realize that kids can get into trouble any time of the day or night. That is why they must be held responsible for what they decide to do.
2007-03-02 06:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion is to let him stay there for a bit, maybe he will learn, parents who go and bail there kids out of jail alomost imediately is teaching kids that they will only get slapped on the hands if they do something wrong. Since they made it a law where we cant beat our kids,I say leave them to their own deeds, if they do wrong then they have to pay, if they do good then they are rewarded, kids must learn to live by the rules of the house or other words society will deteriorate rapidly, evryone thinks their kids dont deserve such punishment, then why did we put the laws in if we arent going to use them? Do the crime, do the time, thats my motto. If you are going to play the game, be willing to take the bruises, good bad or indifferant.
2007-03-02 06:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Thom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps have him to some volunteer work or something that'll take up a significant amount of his free time, and yet benefit others...
...also talk to him about stealing and how it affects everyone (specifically shoplifting). Maybe a prison visit as well...to show him first hand what life's like on the "inside" if he decides crime is to be his career.
2007-03-02 06:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that i night in jail might have scared it out of him..i was there for 2 wks and ever since then i've stayed away from the ppl that i hungout with...if hes only 16 i kno that that scared him...when he goes to court ask if u can talk to the judge 1 on 1 and see if the judge can scare him a lil...he's a teenager and he should kno better.
2007-03-02 06:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first of all make him tell you everything that happened. Don't spare him the consequences of his actions. If he is convicted perhaps you should see about having him do community service, that would teach him to take responsibility for his actions and to show concern for people around him. Set a strict curfew and take away certain privileges, such as video games and his car. Make him earn them back gradually by good behavior..
2007-03-02 06:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to him ground him, take things away take his phone and if he is able to drive take the car away make him work for the money u had to get him out of the jail make him pay for his own fines. was he with friends was their peer pressuer? i would talk to him and found out why. i would get him in to counsling maybe this is a cry for help. also why was he out at 1am where was he at?
2007-03-02 06:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by crystal w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find out what he has stolen. and make him take it back and tell the people he stole it from that he stole it. then put him a jailcell with some really mean person for at least 24 hours. my mom did that to one of my brothers and it embarrased him so much he never again tooksomething that wasnt his. hope this helps .
2007-03-02 06:32:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hrm i'm sure spending a night in jail is probably enough to scare him off... (from what i heard its pretty intimidating)
perhaps that experience was enough to scare him straight..
talk to him about see if he enjoyed being in jail.. and tell him if he doesn't get his act together he could be going there more ofte
2007-03-02 06:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him not to go round stealing again or else you'll disown but most of all he might be unfortunate enough to go to jail, he must know the law by now.
2007-03-02 06:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋