What do you do about a friend who puts you down?

Question

My roommate and I have a pretty superficial friendship. Actually i think he's kind of a tool, I don't respect him probably as much as he deserves. But often times he just says stuff that make me feel crappy. He hits lower than i normally do in conversation; he's the type of guy that says stuff like "you're an idiot," and "um.... ok" and is just generally bossy all the time. He's also one of those people that never questions anything and always pretends to be optimistic. What do I do to not feel down when he puts me down? Do I just insult him? i'd like to try it, but it'll take some confidence. any advice?

Answer 1

You have received alot of good advice. This is not a friend. This is a very self centered insecure, person! He will always be that way. I have to tell you in life you will come across this kind of person alot, the better you do the more people will try to disaude you with insults, etc. they are jealous as well as insecure!
As for acting the same towards this person, why should you? Remember he is not worth it! Ignore and go about your business, and keep your business to yourself. This person is not a friend to himself! Also remember you are in charge of your emotions. So why let a person who really has no meaning in your life have any control over your feelings!
You say it would take a lot of confidence to insult him, no it wouldn't, it takes alot more not too!! Never go to a losers level, you are not one!
One more thing, never ask this person their opinion about anything, they will not have your best interest at heart. They will steer you in the wrong direction on purpose!!!!!
The best revenge is living the good life!
Ciao!!!
All good will come to you, you will see.

Answer 2

I'd start answering him rudely, and if he doesn't take a hint from that I'd tell him that he doesn't have to make himself feel better by trying to put you down. Usually when people do that it's because they have some severe insecurities. Obvisously something's really wrong with him that he doesn't want ppl to start picking on, he's just trying to deflect the attention from himself so no one says anything. I bet you if you hit with a few zingers of your own he'll stop because he won't like how it feels to be embarrassed. I hate ppl like that, I had a brother in law that was like that so I know how you feel. His stigma was that he doesn't read and write well, so to make himslef feel smarter he belittles others. It doesn't work cuz they usually just remind him that he's an idiot.

Answer 3

Obviously this guy has numerous issues not the least of which is a low self esteem and can only feel worthy if he is above someone else so he uses whatever he can to take down the other person. This guy is toxic and if he acts like this to your face, imagine what he is doing behind your back. If there is any way possible, move. Get far way from this creep and don't look back.

Answer 4

Is this a college roommate? If so, get transferred if you can. Do not stoop to his level and insult him when he insults you. Above all, do not consider him a FRIEND! He is a roommate and an acquaintance. We have many acquaintances in our life time, but very few friends. Friends are treasures...this person is just someone you are stuck living with for a while. When he gets bossy, tell him to back off, and mean it! When he insults you, tell him to keep his comments to himself. I wouldn't worry about hurting his feeling. He doesn't seem to have any.

Answer 5

I would just ask him why he feels he needs to insult you or talk to you like you are nothing. I wouldn't insult him and don't do it in a defensive manor. As far as not feeling down when he says these things, just remember, often people put others down to make themselves feel superior. There has to be someone in his life who has treated him this way and he feels better when he does it to someone else. Tell him to back off and if he doesn't, maybe it's time to get a new roommate. Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent, so know that you are a good person despite what he says to you.

It sounds like your roommate has low self esteem and it putting you down to build himself up.

If you respond with insults, your roommate will know that he is getting under your skin and making you question yourself.

Laugh off the insults and know that your roommate is defective and childish - this will annoy him more and hopefully make him reevaluate his behavior. If you get a chance, say dude, what is the deal with all your stupid comments, then laugh...if he knows that he cannot shake your confidence, you win :)

Best of luck, you sound like a caring person.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to talk to him. Tell him what's up. I know that guys don't really talk to eachother, but maybe you guys can go out on the town together or something. The more you hang out, the closer you become and the more you'll learn more about his personality other than his bitchiness.

Answer 8

Your're right...he IS a tool. The next time he throws some vague adolescent slur at you (which sounds like it's all he's capable of coming up with), just (pretend to) yawn and say: You know what dude?.....You freakin' bore me!"

Answer 9

Take a picture of him and paste it to the fridge with and "Um... ok" bubble on his forehead and a moustache on his face. Every time he says something bossy to you, add another picture with another bubble with his latest quote. He'll probably shut his skinny face.

Answer 10

erm no that would be stooping to his level, you ignore him! dont listen, always ask him to repeat himself more than once because you were concentrating on more important things, be kool, be clever and he'll realise what a wonderful friend he's losing! be strong and remember that you're better than him!!!!!!!xx