He was one of my colleagues. I never thought he could have been interested in me as I wasn’t interested in him. Besides, he had a relationship at that time. And I’ve never dated guys who are not free. I realized he wanted us to be more than friends when he approached me with a kiss. I was very surprised, b/c I wasn’t expecting to it. He said that he was sorry and didn’t want to offend me, but he had been in love with me for a year or so, and wanted me to know it. Then I asked him about his gf and he said it was nothing serious between them, he only wanted to help her get over her illness and then break up with her. I told him that we could not be together as long as he is ‘taken’. And I started dating other men. He showed me that this bothered him, even though he didn't mention a word about it. After a while I left that job and ever since we’ve dated only several times and he told me that he broke up of her. But he didn't mention anything about us.
Was this love or just infatuation?
2007-03-02 05:43:23 · 12 answers · asked by AnneMarie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Seems like he was more interested in the 'chase', I don't think he was in love with you, how could he be he didn't really know you & now he has the chance he doesn't seem that bothered. Infatuation in my opinion.
2007-03-02 05:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by shortstuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a lengthy answer but I think it will really help you find the answer to your question...
Now to me it sounds like infactuation. I'm not in the guy's head so I can't say for sure. All of the signs point to infactuation. Telling you he'd been in love with you for a year, approaching you with a kiss, etc. All of his actions sound to me like he simply had the hots for you...which isn't bad but at this point not mentioning anything about you says that he probably doesn't love you.
When two people are TRULY in love, they want everyone to know about it no matter how silly they look, how stupid they act, or how "ga-ga" they sound. They're so happy they don't care. If he really loved you he definitely would have said something about you. The fact that he didn't doesn't neccessarily mean he doesn't but it doesn't exactly confirm that he does either.
I deal with a lot of couples who tell me about past relationships they've had to keep a secret. The funny thing is, it's rarely the idea of both parties involved. Normally one of the participants wants to keep their status under raps, and the other wants to tell the world. What this usually means is that the person wanting to keep the romance a secret doesn't feel as strongly for the other person as the other person feels about them. In your case, this guy doesn't exactly sound like he wants to proclaim his love for you on the Jumbo Tron at Yankee stadium which, again, suggests he was just infactuated. That's not a bad thing, but it's not love.
If I were you I'd have a casual conversation about this with him. To tell you the truth, this doesn't sound like a big deal to either of you so this should be an easy talk to have together. Let him know that maybe he doesn't love you and that maybe he's just got the hots for you. Let him know that it's not a bad thing, it's just that you want him to really think about how he feels for you and whether or not he truly loves you. My guess is he THINKS he loves you. Men have the uncanny ability to mistake lust, "the hots", and infactuation for love (which is why men sometimes get married on the fly after spending a month with the a woman that's physically and sexually perfect to them). The fact is he probably doesn't know he doesn't love you. He THINKS he does but if you get him to really think about what it means to love someone, he may realize that he doesn't. If he decides that he may not love you, let him know that it's perfectly okay, you're glad to know the truth, and that you still dig him. Who knows, maybe it will grow into love which is the reason we all date in the first place, right?
Good luck girlie
2007-03-02 06:18:01 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uh, "...wasn’t interested in him." Why would you want to start a relationship with someone you're not interested in?
Love? Love takes time to grow. It's infactuation until you both know each other well enough to love each other.
If he's single, you can date him. But you should check your motives. Do you find him appealing? Interesting? Are you attracted to him or are you lonely and like someone paying attention to you?
Good luck.
A~
2007-03-02 05:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like one of those guys who have to have all the decent looking girls at work just cuz they haven't had them before. Your leaving the job left him open to do & say whatever he wanted about Her. He's just a playa who wants a girl till he has had her a few times(does this so he stays commitment free) He has no idea(& never will)what love really is.
2007-03-10 02:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid he's lying it that old classic "please be patient I will tell her when the time is right" what a load of old tosh.
I'm sorry but I don't even believe that she's ill.
Look at the end of the day he is still a married man and he will never be yours.
Please go and find a man that can be all yours, someone that you don't have to share.
I wish you every happiness for the future xx.
2007-03-06 03:36:18 · answer #5 · answered by pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like he wanted you because he couldn't have you. any guy who was only staying with someone to help them through an illness needs to be given a wide berth in my opinion. i'd rather be single and ill than in a loveless relationship
2007-03-02 06:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by flojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wanted your body , nothing more nothing less. there are those uncareing males that perform in this manner. its like a one night stand. you meet a man in a bar, you both go home, a few drinks and then do it. when you wake up he is gone. never to be seened again.
2007-03-08 08:27:33 · answer #7 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a Milns & Boon to me, if you are going to walk through this life with those rose colured glasses on you are always going to be confused.
2007-03-07 18:49:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your getting some pretty straight forward signals. Give it a shot you never know.
2007-03-09 18:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date other people and you will find out.
2007-03-09 18:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋