I have a sister who recently got married to her boyfriend of 3 years (they are both 24). They were both overweight, to the extent that my sister had gastrointestinal bypass surgery months ago to control the weight. Now, she is slimmed down, working at a local bar, and living an entirely new life than the one she chose with her husband. It has gotten so bad that she hasn't shown up at home for the past week (they have been married 4 months). This could be a situation that involves drugs, alcohol, and adultery.
How do I approach her with help? What can I say, what are some key words that I can use that put all the issues together to help her understand what she is doing to her husband, herself, her family? If she wants to lead a different life, now that she is a different person, so be it. I want to help her in whatever way I can, I just don't want her to shut me out, keep me from helping her. The rest of the family has basically shut her out. I look forward to your comments.
2007-03-02 05:38:02 · 9 answers · asked by r_canton 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just arrange to sit down with her and talk. Tell that you want to understand what is going on and you will love her and support her no matter which way she chooses to direct her life.
She may want to try new things now that she has underwent a life change. She may like the new life better than the old live.
Just be supportive and don't judge.
2007-03-02 05:42:06 · answer #1 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is to sound like you understand what she is going thorugh and you are on her side. If the rest of the family is shutting her out she may be under the impression that you wont understand her, and judge her, and she doesnt want to hear from anyone right now that she is doing something wrong. I am sure on some level she knows she is doing wrong and that is why she is avoiding you...she wants to keep doing what she is doing guilt free. So when you talk to her, try to make it clear (whether you feel this way or not) that you are on her side and you wnat ot help her out with whatever she needs. Later after she is comfortable talking to you agian, then bring up your concerns about her behavior and her marraige.
The best thing you can do is be there for her if she falls...because it looks like right now she is heading for a big fall.
2007-03-02 05:43:24 · answer #2 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to talk to her. Find out why the sudden change in her life. Don't be pushy just supportive. Let her know that you will be there for her and you are worried about her. I've heard that people that have gastrointestinal bypass surgery go through many changes because they are now thin and feel prettier than before. This could be just a faze. Explain to her that you love her and her husband still loves her. I hope things work out for her.
2007-03-02 05:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try being a friend to her first. Do not go at her blasting her for her new lifestyle, you will get no where. Call her and ask to meet with her for lunch or coffee. Ask her whats going on in her Life. Refresh her memory as to the Girl she was before the weight Loss. I am sure she is loving all the New found Attention her weight Loss is bringing, but with it can bring other problems.
2007-03-02 06:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you get a puppy you also handle an ethical responsibility for its care and save.A puppy is almost a buddy,.many human beings only desire pups or kittens even as they are small and wonderful then dump them or worse,those are the humanos i completely hate and despise and that i could cheerfully placed a bullet through their heads for the misery and soreness they reason.your family members can protect themselves, your puppy can't, as we've taken maximum of them out of their habitats, so without our care they die.
2016-12-05 03:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her and you don't want to shut her out of your life ( like your other family members) Go ahead and try to approach with help. You wouldn't want her to suffer of she is doing something harmful to herself. You'll have guilt. Go ahead and help her if you really love her.
2007-03-02 05:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could start by asking her how life is and how the world has been treating her the past one week. That aught to open the subject......
2007-03-02 05:43:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER AND SUPPORT HER IN POSITIVE THINGS IN HER LIFE BUT IT SEEMS AS IF SHE HAS ABANDONED EVERYONE INCLUDING HER NEWLYWED HUSBAND AND ITS CAUSING THE FAMILY CIRCLE TO BE BROKEN.Ask her how can the problem get fixed
2007-03-02 05:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by madtyga2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her - sounds like she has alot of different problems and the worst is self-esteem - good luck!@~
2007-03-02 05:44:07 · answer #9 · answered by nswblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋