Sometimes (very rarely) my daughter, who's now 10 months old, wakes up crying in the middle of the night. I check her temperature, diaper, make sure is not an ear infection, gas or teething pain... Now, the doctor and almost everybody I know have told me that if is not any of that, to just lay her back down in her crib and walk away, even if she starts wailing...
But... I just can't! We live with my mother in law, and she has to get up at 5:30 am to go to work; if I let the baby cry my MIL is gonna wake up and try to help me put the baby to sleep, which usually just makes the baby more awake cause she gets to see "nana"... not to mention my MIL is gonna be wiped out at work...
Also, it will wake up my husband, and he gets very upset... (he has no patience)
Am I doing this all wrong? I don't know what to do sometimes...
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my question! I will appreciate any comments.
2007-03-02 04:57:58 · 18 answers · asked by Feed the models! 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You are doing nothing wrong by responding to your child!
Babies don't always know how to put themselves back to sleep and sometimes they get scared or lonely. The best thing you can do is to go to her and comfort her and rock/nurse her back to sleep.
Esspecially if she only does it rarely, then she obviously needs you.
It was a man who started the idea that babies need to sleep seperately from thier mothers and then another man who started the idea that they need to be able to put themselves to sleep. They're babies! They need mamma!!
Cherish the cuddle time you get now, they grow up too fast!
2007-03-02 05:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy to David 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all everyone in your household needs to deal with the fact that there is a young infant in the house and you are not superwoman. It sounds like you can't let her cry more out of fear of upsetting anyone else than because you have issues letting her cry it out. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with nurturing your child. Kudos to you for that. But if you're just trying to silence her to satisfy everyone else, stop. They knew when a baby came that it would no longer be as peaceful as it once was. Your husband can get off his lazy a** and give you a break for once and HE can get up in the middle of the night. He better learn real quick that you HAVE TO HAVE PATIENCE TO BE A PARENT! And if he can't have patience for a 10 month old, what is he going to do when she is 3 or 4 and wants to help with everything and asks 100 questions a day? Or what about when she has a tantrum? There is no avoiding that you know! Are you going to quickly usher her into the other room so as not to disturb him?
And if it's an inconvenience for grandma, then move out or have her move out! It seems to me everyone except for you has forgotten what a blessing it is to have your daughter in their lives.
Furthermore, as it is always good to take such good care of your baby, you are going to make it a hassle for yourself if you never let her cry it out. She already has you trained. You are starting a mean pattern of catering to her that is going to lead to some rough times down the road.
By the way, I get plenty of cuddle time with my now 3 year old daughter. I didn't always let her cry it out. But it is important to let them do that sometimes. If it exceeds 10 min. you should go back into the room. You can still be a very nurturing and caring mother and be a little bit tough sometimes too.
2007-03-02 05:18:36 · answer #2 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are doing the right thing. There is a reason a mom doesn't "feel right" letting her baby cry - it's called instinct - a nursing mom will even leak milk when her baby cries - it's natures way of screaming to us to attend to our child.
The "cry it out" method might cause a child to "self sooth" in the short term but in the long run all you are doing is teaching your child that you don't listen to them during "certain hours" and you won't respond to there needs. Wait till that child becomes a teenage and you'll wonder why they no longer listen to you - guess where they learned that!
Anyway trust your instincts, you are being a wonderful mom - don't worry!
2007-03-02 05:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by junenorth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No thats not a bad thing at all. I dont let my 10 month old cry for very long at all. It would be a different story if she was waking up every 10 mins but its so normal if she wakes up once or even twice, she's just hungry, wet or had a bad dream...your a mom and she needs comforting and your doing it very well. Dont worry.
2007-03-02 05:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if she woke up crying and nothings wrong she probably just wants some cuddle time...try rocking her back to sleep and then gently put her back when she is half asleep(or however asleep she is when u put her to bed at night) There is nothing wrong with not letting her cry herself to sleep...i would not let my daughter cry myself to sleep cuz i think that it shows that she is alone and there is no reason why a baby should feel alone... after a couple weeks of rocking her to sleep..gradually put her back a little more awake and stand with her and rub her back or pat her tummy(depending if u put her on her side or back) and wait till she is asleep...i know itz hard in the middle of the night when you are tired but it will make for a happier baby
2007-03-02 05:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by <3 <3 <3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are doing nothing wrong! My 1 year old wakes up several times each night and needs me to nurse her back to sleep. Some people really believe in the "Cry it out" method, but I think it is just cruel and teachers your child that you do not listen to him or her. The book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley may help you. My daughter sleeps with us, that way when she wakes up, he just rolls over, latches on and goes back to sleep. My hubby stays asleep, and I am only awake for a few minutes.
2007-03-02 05:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by newmommy74 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I dont let my baby cry herself to sleep either. I cant stand to hear her cry! If she's crying really hard, there is most likely a reason which is why I tend to pick her up and calm her down. Usually giving my daughter a few ounces of formula helps her go back to sleep.
2007-03-02 05:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by ♥TTC #2♥ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't do it either but let me tell you something. My then 3 1/2 month old now 4 months...I went toa doctors app and she was cranky and my very patient husband finally got fed up and put her in her bed and let her cry herself to sleep...from that night on she has slept through the night 11 pm-9:30 am...which is fabulous for such a young strictly breastfed baby!!!
2007-03-02 05:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by addisonsmom17 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I agree that babies should NOT be left to "cry it out". And I also agree that you should consider the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley... see website below. She gives some great tips for helping your baby learn to soothe herself to sleep without making her feel alone and deserted. When your baby cries, she needs you. I am a firm believer that we should teach our children that we are there for them, to help them get through whatever it is, rather than teach them that they are alone to figure it out all by themselves at the tender age of 10 months! Your instincts are telling you to comfort your baby, and your instincts are 100% correct.
Good luck!
2007-03-02 05:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by calliope_13731 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had my babies in the 80's and at that stage it was the idea that you never left a baby to cry. You demand fed.
The fashion has changed and we are now being taught routines. My neighbour has a baby and she refuses to pick her little boy up, he cries for hours. It is quite heart breaking.
So if you want to settle your little girl (and it's not every night, is it?) do what you feel comfortable with.
And while I have sympathy for your mother in law, I have none for your husband.
2007-03-02 05:15:08 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋