Have a great girlfriend 95% of the time, but with "manipulative impulses", how do I stop this?

Question

My girlfriend & I are usually great: make each other breakfast in bed, satisfied with our lifestyles, we both enjoy the sex, and so on.
But one slight problem. She has certain "comfort things". For example she hates working out but complains about her normal but not athletic weight and throws frustration fits when she can't get us certain clothes (even when she's running down her account when she still owes me money (a hundred or so): btw I don't loan her money anymore).
She just constantly states what her "plan" is, even when the past proves she can't handle it. After I say no several times and don't do it (demanding we at least compromise)...you think she'd learn that attitude doesn't get anywhere with me.

Sometimes she also begs for hard sex but then complains I'm going "too hard for the shape she's in", and she isn't warm in bed at all, unless I'm getting her off she just rolls the other way. This is after about 1.5 years of dating...any clues how to remedy

Btw, in case you are wondering, yes it's a "two-way street". I don't ask her to give any more love, keep finances any more stable...then I do and have done myself.
I also wonder, is it normal for women who have problems with themselves to try and find other guys to reassure their unestablished abilities (even if those guys may be giving them unreasonable credit just to impress them)? It's a funny thought, but even though she says I'm "the best" and I'm in excellent shape and very competitive, I fear she wants someone who, like her, also thinks unrealistically.

I don't want to "put her in her place", in an belittling "I know everything you know nothing" way, but I also don't want her to become uncontrollably impulsive and run both of us down the drain.

To respond to one answerer's comment: yes I do love her and YES IT IS COMPLICATED BECAUSE I FEEL MOST OF HER ISSUES ARE ULTIMATELY HER LYING TO HERSELF NOT ME. If I could state it more simply I would likely have solved it myself.

Answer 1

Your girlfriend is aware of the things she is lagging and is disappointed and frustrated at her own lack of motivation. Her complaining to you is just her way of venting. A lot of people want to accomplish certain things, but when it comes to the hard work it takes to accomplish it, give up. You need to set her straight that she alone can fix whatever it is that is making her unhappy. Her behaviour is like that of a child complaining and using other sources such as money as a temporary fix. You need to stop enabling her by providing loans and show her you expect her to act as an adult. In other words, just as a child who throws a tantrum, if you give in, the child will know how to get there way. Don't give in to her. If she gets unpleasant and begins to complain, leave the situation until she stops the complaining. Show her no attention for negative behaviour, and only reward positive behaviour. Your girlfriend has some growing up to do. Best of luck to you!.

Answer 2

You're confusing, I haven't seen you describe anything that sounds like "manipulative impulses" on her part so what in blazes is your question exactly? You're just rambling about, going in all directions.

Due to your weird azz way of presenting the question, you get the time tested universal answer: If you love her, stay. If you don't love her, leave.

Answer 3

Why don't you start a workout plan together? Or just say you want to start and ask her to come with you to keep you motivated? It could be as simple as taking a 30 minute walk everyday together. She will start to feel better about herself and happier with her body.

Answer 4

just tell her about it if she means that much and you mean that much to her shell try to change her habits if not remember there is some girl out there who will be 100%

Answer 5

Dump her!! If she is like this now imagine if you guys go farther!!!

Answer 6

Dude, she is using you.