I just got married (my second marriage), and I am having second thoughts of changing my name this time.
Want to hear from other married women (and maybe men too) if it is ok (for legal purposes and just for personal purposes ) not to change my last name and keep my maiden name now?
It took me a long time to get rid of the "stamp" of my former hubby's name, and now that I got my former name, it seems difficult to let go...
2007-03-02 04:08:07 · 29 answers · asked by Ami 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so in your shoes! I myself was married 17 yrs when my husband filed for divorce in lieu of seeking marriage counseling. He divorced me and I took back my maiden name, which I always loved. I will not change my name again. It is who I am. It gives me an identity all my own. If my future husband doesn't agree that I need to be a separate individual, yet joined to him through marriage, then we will have a problem throughout the marriage also pertaining to my needs as an individual.
2007-03-02 04:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Marianne 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you do not legally need to change your last name to that of your new husbands. There will be a little confusion from some places for a while due to two different names, but that is nothing too serious to worry about. I personally would not mind if my wife had wanted to keep her maiden name when we get married..it isn't her name that I am getting married ti, it is the woman that I love, not her name!. And there is nothing saying that sometime in the future if you wish you can change your name to this new mans last name-the choice is yours and yours alone!
2007-03-02 04:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by dragondave187 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When the wife takes the husbands last name, it is done out of respect and tradition. It isn't a law. If you cant seem to do this due to fears from the past, you haven't let go of the past and are destined to have other issues done the road. As far as this matter, I suggest that you hyphenate your name so that you can take back your maiden name if it becomes an issue. You know, like this : Susie Q. Hostess-Cupcake.
2007-03-02 04:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 13 years and haven't changed my name. You don't have to. I haven't encountered any problems- ever! We file income taxes together- it doesn't matter about the names as long as you are legally married.
Don't change it if you don't want to! It's a stupid tradition.
ETA:
Kari- the kids don't have to have hyphenated names! You can give them whichever name you want. My little girl has my husbands last name only.
Kari- you sound bitter. Maybe you regret changing yours? I don't know. I didn't get married because I wanted a new name nor did he marry me so that I could have his. We love each other and it doesn't have a thing to do with the name. I don't like his name- so why should I be stuck with a name that I don't have to have?
Also- my husband sounds like more of a man than yours because my husband doesn't need his wife to change her name to make him feel validated as a man. Your husband must be insecure if he has such a strong opinion on what his wife's name should be.
2007-03-02 04:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey! No you don't have too. I understand where you're coming from with this choice. A compromise lots of couples are selecting ie. Double barreled names. ie Hers HYDE his WHITE=HYDE- WHITE. But Remember you're in a Relationship which has 2 people both as important as the other so it's best for your marriage to come to a compromise. Either the 1 suggested or keeping your Public single name at work and business related stuff and Married name in Social friendly family occasions.
Good Luck
2007-03-02 04:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As far as I'm aware it's entirely customary and isn't something that you *have* to do. Many women choose to keep their own name, particularly if they've established a reputation under it such as a woman who owns a company and her name is strongly linked to the company's reputation or image.
You could always hyphenate your name with his, though some people dislike that option. Either way, it shouldn't effect anything in a legal sense as long as you have a marriage license to show that you are, in fact, married.
2007-03-02 04:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by Digital Haruspex 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been married for 3 years I haven't changed my last name. But I will be next year, it just makes everything easier to have the names the same.
2007-03-02 04:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Changing your name isn't required. Because of my kids I keep my maiden name. BUT- I am still tempted to switch my name before our baby is born just to show my new husband a solid committment to him. My other kids probably won't notice but I think it would make a difference to him.
2007-03-02 04:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by smajjr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got married I kept my maiden name...It didn't bother me, but a lot of people gave me crap about it...(like my in laws). I bought a house, filed joint taxes, and gave birth to our first son using my maiden name. I had no problems. I later changed to my husbands name, but that was a personal choice.
2007-03-02 04:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You said you just got married? So then, you've already been through this, right?
Anyway, it's perfectly fine to keep your maiden name. Just make sure you talk it over with your new husband....he may really want you to take his name.
2007-03-02 04:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋