I have being married for 7.5 years and my wife told me that she love me but not in love with me. We have 2 kids (5&2) and I don;t want them to grow up in a divorced house. She keeps changing her mind, if she want s to work it out or not. She tells me that she loved me once before that she can love me again? Is this true. She loves me as a companion and a friend but she said that her hart does not love me. She has changed her mind about 1/2 dozen times on what she wants to do and it is breaking my heart in pieces ever time she tells me something different. She are going to true consuling for a year and see where we are every 3 months. Is this going to work, does she want it to work, I don't know. I ask her that question and she tells me that she does not want to loose me and then to find out that it was a mistake and she also said that she is doing it for the kids. A little advice on what I should do. I am depressed on the thought that I will loose her and not to see the kids everyday.
2007-03-02 03:16:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop basing your actions and emotions on her. Its not constructive, and will if anything make her swings worse.
Be a good father. Be a good husband. Take care of yourself. Are you working out? Start working out if you're not. Stick up to her. Don't try to appease her every whim. I repeat, be a _good_ husband, but realize that you cannot MAKE her happy or love you. Start living for yourself, while being a good decent father and husband.
She'll figure out what she wants to do. You need to worry about yourself. Funny thing is, she's more likely to rekindle her feelings for you if you start being a confident, happier more independant guy again. But she may not. Just take care of yourself, and your kids, and be ready to handle what happens.
As far as the kids go, you could tell her that you want them to stay with you. Period. That you'd like her to stay, but obviously, she'll do what she wants. But that the kids are staying. If things break down and go to court, who knows what will happen, but you could at least start by framing things that way.
2007-03-02 03:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is bad. And you probably hang on everyday just trying to figure out which way the tide is going today. If she is willing to go to marriage couseling that is about the only way. I am also divorced from my husband over other issues, but I never hesitated, I wanted out. How can you be doing this for the kids? I don't get that. Remember my friend, whatever happens, be a good father to those kids. Don't leave them or take any of this out on them. Good luck and if possible get her to counseling with you.
2007-03-02 03:54:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad situation. Talk with her and see if she is open to marriage counseling with you at all. I feel you both need this if there is any hope left to your marriage at all. If she is only doing this for the kids it is not right as she needs to be doing this for the marriage because when the kids are up and gone then what will happen to the marriage? I also suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter as well if need be. Yes she can love you again if she chooses and wants to. Ask her why she does not love you as a wife should love her husband.
2007-03-02 03:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out to you bud - I heard the same thing 7 years ago after 9 years. turns out she was having an affair and I caught her. Once I caught her she broke down and said all the feelings came "rushing back in" but I pushed her away being as hurt as I was. We're still together 7 years later but it's never been the same... I wish you the best and sincerely hope that you don't go through the same
2007-03-02 03:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually means she has her eye on something else. If a woman is really wanting to get a divorce well they get a divorce. Usually when there are ups and downs like oh I am going to no I will stay means there is a unstable thing going on and you are the stable one. So where is the unstable? It is left up to you to find it. Could be someone else, myspace friendslist, yahoo cyberwebcam sex, money, and many other things. Good luck to you but I am sure if you start watching carefully you will find what is making her so unstable. good luck to you.
2007-03-02 03:32:37 · answer #5 · answered by BettieRulz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probaby loves you but people married a long time gets in a rut if you leave her then she will really know that she loves you
2007-03-02 03:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by jacey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋