I have been with this man for going on 10 years, we have been through hell and back many times. We still fight from time to time but nowhere near as much as before. We are learning to compromise and conversate more ,........ but now I don't know if I still want to be with him anymore. I feel like it is too much time invested and wasted. I told him he can still be a good father and we no longer have to be together,and we can always be friends but he wants to stay in this relationship that has not lead to marriage in 10 years! How much longer am I suppose to wait before I call it quits with him and move on with my kids and the family dog?
2007-03-02 03:06:41 · 28 answers · asked by Miss G. H. Etto 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should not be sitting around for him to make up his mind about marriage. Honey, it is not going to happen. if after 4 kids and 10 years it hasn't happened there in about 99.9% chance that it won't.
he obviously can't commit and irresponsible in that way. You have invested time, and effort in this union.
If he is not the one for you , move on and find some happiness.
It sounds like you are staying for the kids...... You are selling yourself short here and deserve to have a life.
It is not all about the kids, what will you be left with when they are gone???????
I think you have already made the decision, but are afraid to make the first step. Fear is a terrible thing and can stop you from doing the right thing.
If you want to do this, then make a plan and and make it work.
He still will have to pay support for the kids and that will help you financially. If you want to go back to school ,there are many assistance programs.
Do not hand over your life to someone who can't com mitt to you!!!!!!!!!!
You, make the decision.
Get in tune with who you really are and find that person who has been lost for so long.
You have lots of planning to do..... good luck
2007-03-02 03:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say at this piont your kids have nothing to do with it. so don't stay because of the kids. you said he is a good dad, if thats true then he will still be a good dad after you moved on. it is obvieous after 10 years that it's NOT going to happen. you need to make yourself happy now with a man that feels the same as you do about the relationship. the guy you have been with has been happy in a non marriage for 10 long years though I am pretty sure he knows its not what you ever wanted. he had his turn and his chance. now it's your turn, go make a life for yourself and be happy with someone who feels the same. I hate to say it, but your relationship with this man has been a sham. you already have kids & been together all that time. there is no reason in the world to not make it legal if he realy cared about you & the kids. your children can't even say that thier mommy and daddy were married. what a shame. just as the person above said, why buy the milk if the cow if free. there is a reason for that saying....
2007-03-02 03:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by eyepopping hideous female troll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide, if a piece of paper is what your after and will it really make a difference. If you really love this man why is marriage such a huge issue. You've made it this far and are considered common law, so it's basically the same minus the legal document. If you feel this time was wasted, then I don't think marriage will make it right. More often, the marriage breaks down for some reason or another, it seems people change when they are legally bound.
Be sure your entering marriage for the right reasons and not for a legal document. Once your bound, it is far more difficult to undo.
2007-03-02 03:19:15 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to be married? There is nothing written in stone that says you have to marry anyone. If things are good between the two of you, why bother? After all, it is just a piece of paper. Yes, I am married, but that is MY choice. If I was in your situation, I would just be happy and let things be. If you have been through so much and he still loves you, why not stay. It isn't right to take his kids away just because of something you want. Think about how your it will affect your whole family.
2007-03-02 05:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him and I bet you guys will split up within 2 years.
Marriage isn't for everybody. People who live together forever normally do so because they want the security of knowing that at any moment they can check out of the realtionship and move on with their lives. Also, the guys usually recognize the responsibility they are taking on by marrying the woman. Now they become financially responsible for not only the woman but her kids.
Living together is not the same as marriage, marriage is more than just a piece of paper, dont fool yourself. and that's precisely why living together may work for some people.
2007-03-02 03:19:30 · answer #5 · answered by huckleberrydaddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call you rsponsor. too a lot too quickly and also you'll repeat a similar blunders that were given you the position you at the prompt are. Yoru toddlers might want to nto be uncovered on your love existence till you've been with someone for a minimum of two years. You already blew that. in case you extremely opt for to do what's most suitable for them, you'll improve issues with this also very new sober man or woman fro yet another 2 years earlier you enable your toddlers to sense possibility-free and shield with this guy. You both are jumping into issues too quickly which AA tells you is sabotag. this is the uncomplicated street....my guess is this guy also will no longer exercising habitual and also you'll likely finally end up with a million-2 of his youthful ones too. quit. spoil the cycle! your toddlers opt for you to make better, extra healthful selections.
2016-11-27 00:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what is right for you. If getting married in the traditional since is important to you then you must talk with him about it. If he does not feel the same way that you do then you must then decide if it is worth it. Then you must either move on or stay but make sure it is a decision that you can look back on and be happy with. So far you sound like you are not happy.
2007-03-02 03:14:30 · answer #7 · answered by euzone_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes, move on.
You have lost 10 years, don't bother wasting 10 more.
I mean, are you not good enough to be married?
It sounds like you have grown out of the relationship, and you all don't have a commitment before God to stay together.
2007-03-02 03:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If marriage is what you want tell him. If he can't give that to you then move on. You deserve to live the life you want and if a little piece of paper is too much for him to give you then he doesn't love you as much as he should. You are right, there is no reason why he can't continue to be a good father to his children, you don't need to be in the picture for him to do that. You should have done this years ago in my opinion. Good luck....
2007-03-02 03:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why has it not lead to marriage is the question?? Obviously you are in a committed long term relationship. What kind of example are you setting for your children.
On the other hand you are free to leave anytime you want, no strings attached. Look deep and find the answer.
2007-03-02 03:11:10 · answer #10 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋