My husband works at an event here each year. He manages the bar for a cook off. Saturday night he came home at 5am(Sunday morning). How do I tell him that he is a jerk in a mature way? How do I get the point across that he is taking advantage of our family and that this is intolerable behavior for a husband and father?
2007-03-02 02:51:22 · 15 answers · asked by Patio 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just sit down with him when you are calm and not so upset and ask him nicely why he came home so late. Do not call him a jerk just tell him that this hurt your feelings when he did this and that it bothered you. Do not be harsh and mean about it and choose your words wisely and speak out of love and concern and not out of anger and bitterness. This was just a one time event of the year right? If so you just may need to let it go. I dont think that is really too late for coming home with working at the bar as bars are usually open very late .You may have to be a little more understanding about this is all i am saying and do not be so harsh. Maybe you should tell him you were worried and did not know why he came home so late and that maybe next time he could call you and give you a time when he might be coming home.
2007-03-02 03:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this is a one time incident, then I wouldn't be too hard on him. Tell him that you were worried and he should have at least called to tell you what was going on. If this is something he does on a more regular basis then you really need to have a heart to heart talk with him about his responsibilities as a husband and father. Look at it in the big picture. Is it worth having a big fight over? If it is to you, then do what you feel is right. You know the situation better than anybody.
2007-03-02 11:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here in California bars close at 2:00am, some stay open for "after hours" where coffee and soft drinks are served for the partrons who had a "few too many" and need to sober up a bit. If you didn't want to marry a guy who manages a bar then why did you?
2007-03-02 11:39:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is making money. I don't see how he is being a jerk. The two of you had to have some kind of agreement for him to have done it. If it is bothering you and you can stand to lose the money just tell him you wished he would come home early. Maybe he will say yeah you are right and see if he can come home earlier while someone covers him. That is if the money doesn't play the bigger role.
2007-03-02 11:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by BettieRulz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you ever work in a bar? When I did, it took some time after closing to clean up, get set up for the next shift, lock up, etc. There's floors to mop, dishes and glasses to wash, tills to count and make sure that the next shift has cash to start with, food to put away or throw away, stock to reorder if you ran out, etc. If this is an outdoor event, you may have to load up stock and take it to wherever it's supposed to be stored, 'cause you can't leave alcohol out untended, or it WILL get stolen.
And if it's just one night or weekend a year, you can cut him a little slack, can't you?
2007-03-02 10:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know in the "Old Days," husbands were usually greeted with a wooden Rolling Pin or Iron Skillet when they got they home at that time. But you can't do that anymore.
It really does sound like it's the one time of the year that he parties with the boys. If it's not an on-going thing, just let him know how it made you feel.
2007-03-02 10:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by I'm daddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all what time did the event end? Ask him why he couldn't pick the phone up and call you and let you know if it was okay for him to be a little late.
Ask him you all have a family and it's important for you to know where he's at because you get worried.
If that doesn't work. then he doesn't care how you feel.
2007-03-02 10:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Miss Self-Sufficient 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His job is to work until 5 am? He's not being a jerk. You're being a jerk. If I misunderstood and it's not work and he's there for you when you need him and he's not out cheating, who cares how late he comes home? He's an adult. You are not his mommy. If he's not there when you need him, simply tell him he's neglecting you.
2007-03-02 10:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some times sacrifices must be made to support your family. He sacrificed His sleep to insure stabilizability. You married him which means you should Love and Trust him.
If he hasn't, through the course of your marriage, displaced loyalty then you should respect him.
Miss him when he is unable to come home then when he is home show him how much.
2007-03-02 11:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by jamesrichmond28 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sorry to hear you think husband is a jerk but did you say he 's working maybe he;s enjoy;s being out and making money for his family maybe you could go with him to find out more.
2007-03-02 12:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by paul g 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋