I came home late the other night from a fashion show and now all of a sudden my husband thinks i'm cheating...he keeps saying he knows what's going on and to tell him..but there is nothing to tell..he packed his things and left...there have been times when I've suspected him of cheating, but never packed and left...what should I do?
2007-03-02 02:40:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you asked him why he thought you were cheating and being unfaithful. Ask him what he thinks is going on? I think he may be the one cheating if he left you over just a stupid suspicion and not a real reason. I personally think he was just looking for any excuse to leave you and get out. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him with this question and see what he says or thinks about it. Talk to him and see if he still wants the marriage or not and if he does then both of you should go seek marriage counseling together. If he does not want the marriage then let him go and move on with your life.
2007-03-02 02:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this the first time that you came home late??If so, then something is going on with your husband,you said that you've sense that he was doing something behind your back, then your probably right. Some men will commit adultery and hide it so well, and theres some that for them to get out off the marriage,they will come up with some plan.
Your husband is doing just that,so he will not get caught by you. Call him or see him face to face and tell him whats going on,then maybe he will realize that your not making an excuse but he is.............don't let him act like it was you that did soething wrong. Fight for your right love,dont let him do other wise.......good luck okay!!
2007-03-02 10:50:37 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like neither one of you trust each other. That's sad. Do you really feel he is cheating on you? If so I think he is trying to flip it on to you. If he is guilty he is trying to change the issue around and trying to make you feel bad. Do not let him do this. If you really think he has cheated confront him hes left several times before so whats the difference. He doesn't know what to do. Let him go if he loves you he'll come back if you want him back. If he does you must seek counseling. Good Luck!
2007-03-02 11:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some secrets of his own that he feels guilty about. To leave over an accusation is extreme. Get counseling and maybe try to find out if HE is the one cheating. Sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to leave.
2007-03-02 10:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who accuse are often the ones that are guilty, especially if he went as far as packing and leaving. Lets just say, my husband had an affair, and the whole time he was doing it, he would "throw boyfriend jokes" in my face. Like if I went out with the girls, he'd say, did you see your BF? And when I started catching on to him and really knowing for sure, even though he denied it, he told me that it was him who heard I had cheated on him. See the mind games they play when they are guilty?
2007-03-02 10:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you done so in the past? I caught my wife in 2000 and decided to stay with her. I've never ever really trusted her the same way and have over the past few years felt like something was going on. Simple things trigger insecurity for me and sometimes they become overwhelming. It's easy when you don't trust someone 100% to read what's not there - I think it's a defensive mechanism.
2007-03-02 10:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like projection. Making up reasons to leave-making himself the victim so he doesn't feel like the jerk for leaving you.
This is mental abuse. It will stink, but let him go.
My ex didn't have the nerve to be the bad guy, so he took off his wedding ring (which he hadn't done in the 7 years we were married) and started calling me by my maiden name "Miss P____" I got the hint and brought up that we might like to live our lives together or we were heading for a divorce. That's the window of opportunity that he needed. He packed his stuff the next day and moved out.
Passive-aggressive.
DO NOT LET HIM BLAME YOU and DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Just let him leave and be strong. If he wants to play the victim, don't spend any extra energy trying to prove to him or everyone else that you are innocent. He is lying to himself to make himself feel better about leaving.
HUGS.
2007-03-02 10:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by ladygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really check to see if HE'S the one cheating. Usually cheaters who are ready to get out of a relationship blame the other person for doing something or pick a fight for no reason. It sounds like he was waiting for an out. I know from experience. Sorry!
2007-03-02 10:45:24 · answer #8 · answered by chelelab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are telling the truth, and he just decided to pack just because you got late one day, then let me ask you something: how old is your husband? 15?
He is an idiot, or he is looking for an excuse to leave and make it seem like is your fault.
You need to talk to him, a serious adult talk, and be honest, and ask him to be honest. If this doesn’t work, and assuming you are being honest and you want to be with him, then I have bad news: he doesn’t want to be with you.
Unless he is acting like a retarded kid, there must be a deeper reason for him to act like that. And you need to find it out. Just be prepared for some surprises.
And if is just being a kid, then let me ask you, are you willing to live your life with this guy that overreacts for something that stupid?
Good luck, and don’t let him step on you.
2007-03-02 10:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is looking for an excuse to bolt. Maybe he indeed did cheat and this is a smoke screen to cover it up. Seek professional help. Mature sane adults dont act this way in a marriage.
2007-03-02 10:44:41 · answer #10 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋