I've been with a man, I thought to be my soulmate, for five years. We've been through a lot together and I trusted him, implicitely. He's not the best looking or fittest guy in the world but I love him for what he is inside.
He's ill, terminally ill, but has survived six years since the initial diagnosis and operation, but I fear time is now becoming short for him. We've been through a lot together, trauma, laughter; mostly happy times but he suffers mood swings, and many times, he has become annoyed with me, for almost no reason at all. But, I swore my eternal love and loyalty to him, and I won't go back on that, so I wait...
He always came back on previous occasions but this time, I'm not so sure. I heard he erred two years ago.He used the excuse that I made some stupid comments to him, and has alienated me... even said goodbye in his temper. So what to do... do I wait, with faith, or do I move on? It's so difficult to make the decision to end this relationship. Helllllllp
2007-03-02 02:02:06 · 17 answers · asked by Darkwing 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends on what you feel. There isn't really a definite answer; it's more about personal preference. Here's a list of questions you may want ot ask yourself:
Do you want to hang on until the end?
he is trying to make the best of things for you so you can end it now so you won't feel the pain when he leaves. But is this what you want?
If you have eternal love and loyalty for him, do you want to make the most of the time you have left with him? You two have been through so much together, why stop there?
I am no sure what you are like so I would not know whether you will find it easier to move on if you broke up now or afterwards.
You then might need to ask yourself: if you moved on now, will he still be at the back of your mind even when you are in a relationship? If so, will that mean you are faithful to your new partner? Will you be gettng a partner just to forget about him or because you like your partner?
If you stuck with him to the end, will that mean that you find it easier to get over him when he leaves? Will you know that you have been true to your feelings, yourself and your partner when you moved on?
Will you be happier in the long run if you broke up now or later?
Once you have decided, try not to make regrets and stick to your decision. What you will be thinking now will be your justification and you would know that you had done everything you could and made the best decision for both of you.
Good luck
2007-03-02 02:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's your gut feeling on this? Look deep into your soul and ask yourself what YOU want. It seems to me you have been there for him all this time, and he has treated you pretty badly. People who are terminally ill often take it out on their nearest and dearest, however, this man sounds like he's using you as a whipping boy, a scapegoat for all that's wrong in his own life. Why isn't he treasuring the time he has left with you?
I agree, it's a difficult one to call. Do you do the decent thing and hang on? Or do the decent thing for yourself and walk?
When he dies, you are going to have to move on anyway, and if you have been at the receiving end of an abusive relationship, it will be that much harder, and I would wonder about your ability to relate to someone new who is NOT abusive.
The easy thing is to stay; but it's not necessessarily the right thing.
2007-03-02 08:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is a VERY tough one. I believe the best rewards in life come from working through problems, most often the hard way, by dealing with the details as best and honest as we can. I also believe that one must do what they can to find happiness in this life. In your situation, I would try to look 5-years down the road and imagine where you would like to be. Imagine if you took one path and could see the outcome and then compare it to the other. Don't forget to consider your moral values as well - and what will give you the most peace-of-mind in the end? Best of luck!
2007-03-02 02:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by The Hero Inside 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
uncertain if my interpretation is sweet, i visit share those words. virtually died although not in any respect tried, for attempting does no longer be adequate. i have crossed the fringe of my heart, the position living felt like merely too a lot. And sleep? If i ought to easily sleep a second then be loose... I prayed that he would take me homestead, Oh certain, I made a plea. solid adequate to take this existence, yet more suitable nevertheless to stay; Our paths gained't continually be sparkling one way or the different, we hit upon a way. existence will replace, even though it would properly be diffused. Stand agency floor on the perception that you receives previous this. Be proactive in replace, and also you'll see the outcomes. You... can... do... it!!
2016-11-27 00:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by rasavong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a terminal illnesss then he is going through a wide range of emotions like anger, resentment and denial.
It could be that he is trying to drive other people away from him believing that it will hurt a little less for both people.
You don't have to let yourself become a whipping post but only you can choose when to move on.
2007-03-02 02:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by demarkation_line 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not right to say goodbye to him now at all. You need to stick by his side through all of this and when he passes away then it is time to say good bye and to let him go. Is him being ill making him feel moody and this could be why he is treating you this way. Yes right now you should wait and see if he comes back to you. I would not let go and move on unless he chooses no to come back to you this time. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this matter. Good luck to you and here comes lots of hugs for you today.
2007-03-02 02:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him? Are you happy? Have you told him how his temper makes you feel? Only you know in your heart if your relationship has a future. You said you have been together for 5 years. Why are you not married, may I ask?
2007-03-02 02:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what is truly in your heart for this person. Maybe he needs help for the mood swings and anger...an antidepressant or something.
Search your soul and figure out how you really feel and you will come up with the right answer for you.
be cool...
2007-03-02 02:07:10 · answer #8 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so basically he is dying. Slowly dying with no cure or any way of prolonging his life.
He is afraid. He needs you, but what can you do. Be selfish and run away like he yells to you. He is so afraid hes having trouble dealing with it and it comes out in anger because why am I dying and everybody is okay. He needs help with this, get him help or try to for yourself.
2007-03-02 02:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by pauljpray 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to a help line relating to his illness,and tell them how you feel,and could they suggest what to do.Maybe he needs different medication etc.Or you could try some respite for yourself,to think it through.Its your life as well.Best Wishes
2007-03-02 07:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋